Balthazar Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 Taken from the classic Isley Brothers song... "It's your thang...do what you wanna do.. I can't tell you who to sock it to" First off, if the connection is truly there and you both consent, go ahead. Enter the situation with the expectation of having a good time together;enjoy the young lady and her youth, show her new things, new places, have good times together and cut her loose when things have run their course. There in nothing wrong with your desire for a young woman, most men have such desires and women(even LS women) know it. Keep in mind that young women her age love older guys, especially if they are cultured and in good shape. Do not seek the approval or advice of others(especially older women) on such matters. in fact, do you really give a rat's a$$ what other people think? Especially when you'll be having fun with the young lady? Let them sit at their keyboards and eat cake.
burning 4 revenge Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 Seek counseling and try and determine why you would seriously consider suchn a thing. Not being mean. I get the attraction. Im sure shes lovely. But what in your personality, whether it be narcicismor masochism etc.,that would lead you to actually follow through on it. Where the cost benefit makes it appear worthwhile. Id add this. Im close to your age. I get that a lot of young girls have that older guy thing, especially at right about her age. Whether it be a trophy bf to impress her gf's with, or unresolved daddy issues. I also get that it can be painful to resist. But doesnt some part of you call out that hey Im the adult here, I get whats going on, and a decent person would nip it now and do this girl a good turn Good post. Straightforward and wise
Ms. Joolie Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 I dated a 40 year old man when I was 19 or so, also one in his late thirties. I was attracted, and asked out, so why not? Made it to one date with each man. After one date, I just knew we were in different worlds. My conversation/mentality was that of a 19 year old, and he was well into the adult world. The attraction continued, but I never dated them again. I think I stuck closer to my age level after that. (early thirties and younger, lol) Not that it was a bad experience, but there was little relatability with the much older guys. It was primarily a sexual chemistry. That's just the experience that I had... but 20 is still very young, and you would have to get that before considering a relationship with her. I would also add that it really isn't a good idea to play sexual games with someone so young, imo. I do know a guy, family friend for years, that is now happily married with children to someone 20 years or so younger than he is. (he's well in his 40s and she's in her 20s) I just can't imagine how that relationship works is all. haha If you are attracted to her, date her. Just keep your head on and see what you learn from the experience.
MRA_NYC Posted November 26, 2009 Posted November 26, 2009 She's very young, but it can work, especially if she's from a culture where women mature faster. (White American women tend to have 35-year-old bodies at 25, and 25-year-old minds at 35). I'm 26 and white, and wouldn't date a white American under 23 at this point, but could easily go down to 19-20 in other ethnicities. Age disparities get less sharp as people go into middle age, but moreso when people become actually old. 40/20 is very steep, but 50/30 is no big deal. Then 75/55 is a huge deal (you're elderly, and she's in middle age) but, by that time, if you're still together and in love, it's worth dealing with that.
Lizzie60 Posted November 26, 2009 Posted November 26, 2009 I'm new in town and met a very charming young lady at an art gallery. I just found out she's 20 years old. I'm 40. But we really hit it off and I think we're both into each other. Any advice? No advice..except be careful.. like any other relationships.. age gap or not.. the chance of success on long term is quite limited.. so yours is no exception.. have fun while it lasts..
Pizzaman81 Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 I'm new in town and met a very charming young lady at an art gallery. I just found out she's 20 years old. I'm 40. But we really hit it off and I think we're both into each other. Any advice? if I were 40, i'd be jealous of you. Way to go my man! No tip, just know that she's still developing and that she may be going through experimental phases in her life. Other than that, have fun.
Jersey Shortie Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 I will admit that my experiences with an older man when I was very young have prejudiced me towards relationships with a significant age gap. Of course I'm not saying that all older men would treat younger women like sex objects, or that the OP would do anything untoward with the young lady he recently met. But I do find it worrying when people are telling an older man to "have fun" and "enjoy" a young girl even if it's just a phase he's going through, a mid-life crisis or whatever. I'm sure the man who caused so many problems for me enjoyed himself too, but that's hardly the point. If an older man is going to date a very young and impressionable girl he needs to put her welfare first and respect her, not think about "enjoying" himself. Very well said. Two thumbs up.
Lish Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 She's 20. If you are looking for a serious thing. You will not get that from a 20 yr old. I dont know how you can stand 20 yr old girls...i am 20 and i can't even stand them. Very immature. Speak for yourself! :mad:
RobM Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 Have fun and enjoy, somehow I don't think you want advice as much as you just wanna brag a little about it here.
Balthazar Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 (edited) Have fun and enjoy, somehow I don't think you want advice as much as you just wanna brag a little about it here. Well said Rob! Edited December 1, 2009 by Balthazar
Rudderless Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 I'm new in town and met a very charming young lady at an art gallery. I just found out she's 20 years old. I'm 40. But we really hit it off and I think we're both into each other. Any advice? Explore it, see where it goes and how it feels You can't live your life by numbers or by others opinions of those numbers.
bac Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 It is a perfect combination, so it does not need any special advice. just go with flow because you are in paradase IMHO. There might be 2 potential problems. One is your broken heart when she leaves you. Another is her pregnancy if you do not want to get married her.
bac Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 She's 20. If you are looking for a serious thing. You will not get that from a 20 yr old. I dont know how you can stand 20 yr old girls...i am 20 and i can't even stand them. Very immature. You might change your mind when you are in 40s. 'immature' is a major turn for some mature people.
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