nobmagnet Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 aw honey this is poo.no contact is not an option as i have said before find a goos=d lawyer and get as much info as you can hen when the time is right.........do it. It is not revenge itis what your son needs. hugxx
Author liftedcj7on44s Posted November 28, 2009 Author Posted November 28, 2009 Ok here is an interesting turn of events and I am not sure what to do about it. When me and her got married this is how it went We both went to the court house and filled out all the necessary paperwork to get our marriage license. That paperwork was then given to me and her. We left the courthouse and went straight to the pastor. He married us, We did not have a witness. She signed, I signed and the pastor signed. He gave us the license back and told us to find a witness to sign it. We got a witness to sign it and that was it, No paperwork was ever turned back into the courthouse or anything. I called the register of deeds and they said then you are not married. I spoke to a lawyer online and the lawyer said that yes you are married it is legal and valid, all that is required is for the 2 parties to consent and sign. Well 2 nights ago she asks me on the phone and asks me if we need seperation papers and I told her yes. I asked her why and she told me that she talked to the register of deeds and they told her that we werent married but someone else told her that we were. She is confused about it also. But if she thinks that we are not married then this will give her every opportunity to sleep around. What do you guys think?
curiou Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 Something tells me she doesn't think much of your marriage to begin with. So if you're hoping that she won't sleep around because of some piece of paper, you are deluding yourself big time. I wold take a step back and splash your face with some cold water and really think about what is going on here.
Author liftedcj7on44s Posted November 28, 2009 Author Posted November 28, 2009 she pissed me off bad tonight. she told me that i hurt her so bad that she is going to hurt me just as bad. i never hurt her this bad, never. she accuses me now of sleeping with someone else and having her followed. i admit i was jealous, when your wife tells you that she had been with 17 different guys in 1 year. this was always in the back of my mind. Where do i go from here. i try to be nice on the phone and she is nothing but a big bitch to me. I need proof to know if she is screwing someone else that way i can maybe finally let go. but i have to see my son, until court orders are drawn up i have to try to be nice to her but it does not seem to be working. i want to spend christmas with my son but i dont think she is willing to let me. Do i send her a nasty email? do i stop calling to talk to my son? what do i do?????? I need serious help here before i end my life over this. I still care and love her and i dont know what to do to let go. only way is to find out for sure she is screwing someone else. my son does not deserve this, she is being a bitch and stupid and its going to ruin my son.
mark982 Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 first off who the hell are her parents to tell you,that you can see your son at xmas? right there should tell you that there the one pushing all this crap. i truely believe this all stems from you catching him playing stink finger w/ that girl. to bad you don't have proof of that. it's rough, but you're going to have to play this "smart". can you get custody in nc? since she left state w/ the kid how about abduction charges. or custody where child can not leave state w/o your consent since you're both residents of that state.
LucreziaBorgia Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 Where do i go from here. At this point, your best bet is to protect yourself. DO NOT send her any emails or call her if you are angry. If you send her something threatening, or even say anything threatening she might turn that around and make it sound like you are dangerous and unstable and not fit to have custody of your child. North Carolina will not hesitate to press charges against you if she convinces them that you are abusing or threatening her. They are very pro 'taking the woman's side' when it comes to stuff like that. Now is the time to document every communication she has with you. Every. Single. One. Give these to your lawyer. There is little doubt she will be caught screwing around, so that's in the bag. I would also ask the lawyer to look into the validity of your marriage. Regardless of how that turns out, you may still be able to pop her for keeping your son away from you.
Author liftedcj7on44s Posted November 28, 2009 Author Posted November 28, 2009 does this sound threatening? just talked to her a few minutes ago Me: wtf is your problem? I will see you in court I am tired of your crap leanne king: what do you mean in court Me: i just wanted to see my son i try to be nice to you, i try with everything i have but you do nothing to be nice to me/ leanne king: what are you going to do Me: i am tired of this game you are playing i aint talking to nobody else leanne king: i am not playing any games Me: i dont have anyone following you yes you are playing games and your putting william right in the middle of it leanne king: how are you on the internet Me: i have internet you can either stop playing childish games with me and let me see my son or i am taking you to court leanne king: what are you taking me to court for Me: for all this BS. you left me, you took william. I should have never let you do that. you are making excuse after excuse as to why i cant see him. You are purposly trying to keep him away from me. I do have rights as a father I have been holding on for 3 months now hoping that somehow this would all work out. but its obvious you have no intrest in working it out leanne king: thats right Me: see **** like that. thats just childish just go ahead and tell. tell me who he is. then maybe I can finally let go. thats the only thing that is going to make me not want to work this out you may hurt my feelings but its the only way i can let go leanne king: tell you who there is no one Me: then why treat me like pure dog ****? i never ever ever treated you this bad, never its going to come out. Sooner or later I will find out. leanne king: what is going to come out Me: all of this. why you are acting the way you are im just letting you know. I am getting a lawyer, I am going to fight you for custody you have taken this way to far. way to far leanne king: whay are you going to take him away from me you promised you would not do this Me: and if we are indeed married then i will fight you for the car. its maritial property. You dont leave me a goddamn choice leanne im not going to just sit back and let you do this to him. he deserves to be able to see both of us 50/50 thats all I want is to see my son If you cannot come to some kind of agreement with me on letting me see my son then I will get a lawyer. leanne king: if you have the money Me: why do you say that? ??? leanne king: what Me: why do you say if i have the money? leanne king: because you never had any Me: what did you ever contribute as far as money? i worked my ass of for the money i did have for over a year and you never helped me with money. maybe if you would have helped me with money i would have helped you and dont play this i never bought you anything. what did you ever buy me leanne king is Offline leanne king will receive your Chat message after signing in.
LucreziaBorgia Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 No more interaction after this. It is likely now that she knows that you are going to fight her for custody that she is going to do or say whatever it takes to make sure that you lose. Only go forward on your lawyer's advisement from here on out.
Author liftedcj7on44s Posted November 28, 2009 Author Posted November 28, 2009 her parents are going to have to pay for her lawyer. she does not work. She has been living there off of them for 3 months now and has not even looked for a job.
Author liftedcj7on44s Posted November 29, 2009 Author Posted November 29, 2009 It seems to me that she is scared now. She she has sent me 3 messages on yahoo messenger in 2 days begging me to talk to her and stop avoiding her.
GorillaTheater Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 It sounds like you're doing alot better, and it's good to hear. Anger is a pretty useful emotion, if you can keep it under control. What are your plans to follow through with the lawyer?
Author liftedcj7on44s Posted November 30, 2009 Author Posted November 30, 2009 I am sticking to my guns. I already have all the necessary paperwork to file for custody. In reality i honestly do not want to take him from her, all i really want is to be able to see my son. And since she is not letting me see my son on her own free will then I have no choice but to have her served and let a judge decide if I can see my son or not. I honestly never wanted things to get this far, but for some reason i knew it was going to happen. I know she is probably out today trying to do everything she can to figure out a way to stop me from getting to have anything to do with him. That is ok, I will fight her with every penny and every last breath that I have for my son. He does not deserve to be put in the middle of all this and especially with her basically using him as a pawn.
GorillaTheater Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 I am sticking to my guns. I already have all the necessary paperwork to file for custody. In reality i honestly do not want to take him from her, all i really want is to be able to see my son. And since she is not letting me see my son on her own free will then I have no choice but to have her served and let a judge decide if I can see my son or not. I honestly never wanted things to get this far, but for some reason i knew it was going to happen. I know she is probably out today trying to do everything she can to figure out a way to stop me from getting to have anything to do with him. That is ok, I will fight her with every penny and every last breath that I have for my son. He does not deserve to be put in the middle of all this and especially with her basically using him as a pawn. No, you're right, your wife (so to speak) is using your son as a weapon to beat you with, and neither of you deserve that. I hope she grows up to the point where you two can sort out the divorce and custody issues like adults, but in the meantime keep protecting yourself. Stay lawyered up. Frankly, although I'm sure this is still very confusing and painful, it sounds like you'll be much better off putting this marriage and your wife's nutball family in your rearview mirror.
Author liftedcj7on44s Posted November 30, 2009 Author Posted November 30, 2009 It hurt's alot. Just like most of the men here I honestly felt like she was the one. We shared so many things in common. We shared so much together. Even though I know it is honestly alot of my issues that caused her to leave I still dont feel that I deserve what she is doing to me. She got online yesterday but logged right back off as soon as she saw I was online. I guess now she is not wanting to talk to me and is probably trying to find out what she can do to stop me. Honestly there is not much she can do because ultimately it is the judge's decision as to wheter I get to have a part in my son's life.
nobmagnet Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 i am so pleased you have gained the strength to do this! you and your son deserve a great relationship. I am digusted anyone would use a child in this way. my highest hopes for you. my fingers are crossed you get a positive outcome very soon your your sons and your sake. big hugs
Author liftedcj7on44s Posted November 30, 2009 Author Posted November 30, 2009 I am tired of playing mr. nice guy to her and letting her ruin my relationship with my son. I am tired of her messing with my emotions. Just out of curiosity i decided on my 3pm lunch break that I would call to talk to my son and also wanted to see if she would answer the phone( I am not going on my word) You wanna know what she was doing at 3pm? She was sleeping, She has not even made a single attempt to get herself a job and better herself. She has left herself vulnerable to attack and the attack has commenced. I really do feel for her i honestly do i hate that it all has to come to this but i have to draw the line somewhere and put my foot down. Even if I am not granted custody that is fine, as long as I get visitation then atleast i will know that when it is my time to see my son that there is nothing that she nor her parents can do to prevent me from seeing him. If they still deny me I will hold every single one of them in contempt of court order's.
Author liftedcj7on44s Posted December 1, 2009 Author Posted December 1, 2009 Ok I am shaking from head to toe right now. I called to talk to my son tonight. My estranged so called wife told me not hang up she wanted to talk to me. So I talked to my son a bit and then she got on the line. She asked me when I was going to send money. She told me our son needs things, I told her then tell me what he needs and I will go out and get what he needs and send them too you. Her brother was in the background saying stuff like "tell that sorry SOB that if he doesnt send any money then he wont be allowed to call here anymore to talk to his son. I told her to tell her brother he needs to shut up, My son is not his son and he does not tell me what I can and cannot do with my son. I told her that if she really needed money that bad then to bring my son down here to see me and I will give her money and she said that it was not her responsibility. We argued for a bit. I told her that my son was not a pawn and im not going to pay money to see my son. In NC child custody and child support are 2 seperate issues. I stressed to her that he is my son i should not have to pay to see him. I told her that what i told her on the phone the other night was true and that i was taking her to court. She made a remark saying that i told her I would never do this. I told her you also told me you would never leave me, never take Child support out on me and never take my son away from me. She started laughing at me saying so your taking me to court because I took Child support out on you. Well by this time I was furious. Her father got on the phone. He cursed me out told me I was a POS and he was coming down here to kick my ass. I was already angry so I finally did something I have wanted to do for 3 years. I cursed him right back out. I called him a Effin pedophile screwing around with a 15yr old and begged him to come kick my ass. He called me a sorry SOB and i told him what he was doing was wrong that that is my son not theres. So right now I am shaking my ass off. This has gotten way out of hand. I know why she wants me to send money, She needs the money to help herself get a lawyer. I mean come on im not that stupid. She wont even bring him to come and see me. WHEW.
Midnight Rider Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 She's really messed things up. This father and the brother, real scum bags. These types of men destroy marriages and make you not want to have anything to do with their daughter/sis. How did you get mixed up with this crazy family in the first place?
Author liftedcj7on44s Posted December 1, 2009 Author Posted December 1, 2009 She was never like this before, But the problem is this. She is very submissive if thats what you want to call it. If you told her that if she jumped off the roof that she would get 500 dollars for it she would probably do it. So if her parents tell her to "go take child support out on him" then she does it.
Midnight Rider Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 After telling her father off like this (I don't blame you, the bastard had it coming) it will be harder than ever to reconcile with this monster of a wife. Not only that but the brother is a total *hole towards you and that makes it even worse. It's one thing to have bad words between husband and wife, but now with bad between father/brother and husband it's like mission impossible. These people are a crazy demented family who makes the adams family look normal. Please get yourself a good lawyer and just cut off communication with them for now. You will have your son back soon enough, let the law deal with this sorry situation.
Chrome Barracuda Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 F all that noize, destroy them in court. She deserves no mercy. STOP talking to her, your only agrrating yourself. If it aint about your son, you have nothing to talk about. Do not talk to her, let your lawyer do the talking!!! The time for diplomacy is dead.
Author liftedcj7on44s Posted December 1, 2009 Author Posted December 1, 2009 (edited) i didnt want to talk to her. But she wanted to talk to me. So i asked her what she wanted. And sure enough its about money blah blah blah. You know what, I have 700 in receipts from the USPS of money that i sent her before she ever took child support out on me. no scratch that even after i knew she took CS out on me i was still sending her money. 700 in receipts. 200 that i dont have receipts. So 900 all together but the 200 will just be thrown away. She left august 25th, the first 100 i sent her was on aug 29th. This crazy bitch can burn in hell for all I care. I let it be known to her too that the way she is doing this she is probably going to lose our son. I wished I had all my other receipts also. those 3 weekend after all this mess happened i spent a total of 900 bucks getting hotel rooms, going out to eat, and spending it on my son and her. It has become very clear what the money i sent her is being used for. Hell the money i sent her was deposited in her moms bank account. The whole family is out for nothing but to get as much money as they can from me. I guess they will get it too here in a few weeks. Edited December 1, 2009 by liftedcj7on44s
Midnight Rider Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 i didnt want to talk to her. But she wanted to talk to me. So i asked her what she wanted. And sure enough its about money blah blah blah. It's no longer worthwhile to talk with her, even if she wants to talk with you. Not if it means her brother and father will be bad mouthing you in the background. Not a civilized situation. Don't let her suck you into more fighting. There is no doubt the men in her family are hotheads who are sticking their noses where they don't belong. This isn't helping at all, that's why you should just back off for now and deal with it all via your lawyer.
Author liftedcj7on44s Posted December 1, 2009 Author Posted December 1, 2009 I totally agree with you. It is very hard though to not call to talk to my son. I feel if i do not call to talk to my son then that will be more ammo for her to use against me.
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