fiser360 Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 Why would you go back to someone that broke up with you. Then the day after you find out that they cheated on you while you were together. Why would you bother with that person, when there is someone else waiting for you who would treat you so much better... Just curious.
User320 Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 personally i would not, but i have.... because i thought it was my fault, i know its not now. When someone wrongs you in a relationship it makes you feel bad, im my case i blamed myself... but if they really loved you it would not have happened in the first place. But i can say this NEVER AGAIN! So in closing I would not go back.. i may want them, only because i loved them, but in all reality it just wouldn't work again.
HeavenOrHell Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 Cos you're in love with them? Personally I think it might kill my feelings for them. Why would you go back to someone that broke up with you. Then the day after you find out that they cheated on you while you were together. Why would you bother with that person, when there is someone else waiting for you who would treat you so much better... Just curious.
Author fiser360 Posted November 21, 2009 Author Posted November 21, 2009 I mean, if it happened once...it's bound to happen again. And if you think about...people cheat because there is something missing in a relationship. Not just because they want to cheat. I'm just trying to understand why my ex is going back to her most recent boyfriend who just cheated on her...when I am here for her 100%. And treat her well..
xoxo88 Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 She probably never really let him go for good. After the break up she might have kept the hope that maybe one day they will be together again. She should have dealt with the reality of the situation back then and it wouldn't have gotten you both were you are right now. It really is her not you, and i'm not telling you this only to feel better but this is how i see it: she didn't handle well her emotions at the right time, leaving her head a mess, and now she's messing with you. Maybe you need an explanation, and you should ask for it before it's too late. By too late i mean it would be ridiculous for you to ask her about her reasons 3 months after the break up. The sooner the better! I wish you all the best with dealing with your own emotions. Take care!
Author fiser360 Posted November 22, 2009 Author Posted November 22, 2009 Great reply xoxo88. I appreciate it. I just don't understand though...We were together for 3 years...they have been together for 4 months. Strange..
xoxo88 Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 I used to think too that a few months relationship can't get to you worse that a few years long relationship. But it can tear you up. It happened to me, it happend to friends of mine, it happens to people whose stories i have read. It happens all the time. It happens when you get to love that person as if you have been together for a few years and they suddenly tell you they wanna break up with you. It hurts so bad because after a few months you don't know each other that well and you can't open up to each other the way you would do it after a few years, you don't get the closure that you need and you keep asking yourself all those overkill "what if?"s. After a longer relationship you know exactly what you are giving up, your partner tells you how he/she feels and give you the explanation that you need, or at least they have the guts to tell you "i don't love you anymore!". Of course there are other things that influence your feelings after a break up like how good of a match you were, how much you invested in it, etc. But still in my personal opinion what hurts so bad is the regret of not knowing what could have been, the regret of letting go something that feels so great. I can't assure you this is what happend to your ex, but i know for sure this is why we hurt so bad after a relationship that lasted only a few months.
EskimoPassingBy Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 When you've been dumped, you act on what your heart tells you and not your mind. While I was grieving, I wanted her badly. Even though I knew that if she had tried to come back, it will never be the same. If the person can break your heart once, it just means he/she increases the risk of breaking it a second time. Thats why its good to allow yourself time away from begging him/her to realise it. What I've realised is that when dumpers are able to bring themselves to dump you then they would have already foresaw the consequences. This is how I think in different circumstances as well, I find it hard to forgive people that did something wrong which wasn't a mistake. When they did it, they should have expected what was coming.
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