Canuck81 Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 Wife left me for my friend, moved in with him the same day. As hard as that was, I find it harder that now everyone else in my "social circle" if you will has accepted this new relationship as the replacement for me and my wife at dinners and parties and such. It's like I've simply been removed and replaced by someone else. And no one seems to have a problem with that. It's like it's just a business transaction: please direct all invites to this new couple. Now I'm the single one being awkwardly invited to couple's dinners and such (as the friend used to be). I know she needs to be happy, but the fact that she's taken everything and left me with nothing hurts so much. And she doesn't seem to realize how this might cause me pain. Appears oblivious, just going out and enjoying her new life and boyfriend. /rant
mickleb Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 Oh, you poor man. I'm not surprised you feel the need to rant! I feel the need to get my Uzi out of the garage and invite MYSELF to one of their flaky dinner parties! (Don't worry, I don't have an Uzi in my garage, I'm British! And a girl! ) No, honestly, I think this stinks. Just wanted to let you know you're totally justified in hating all of their guts. (If you want to.) I suggest you learn to cook like Gordon Ramsay on fire and hold your OWN party and invite who you goddamn please and feast until you can feast no more, like the Romans did - then they made themselves sick with a feather, didn't they? Then have a big old orgy right there on the table. If you want to. Because you can. Bless your cotton socks. x
novack Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 so much anger, sadness and depression on LS ... THAT LAST POST MADE ME DIE OF LAUGHTER.... cheers to the dumpee's, those left to pick up the pieces..... We will find someone else who is much better for us.. and if your ex just found them be happy for them bc if you really loved them than accept what makes them happy and leave it at that.. GL MAN!!
teanoranges Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 I'm with you there. Although mine didn't leave me RIGHT out of the relationship. Sadly, I stuck around and watched (or ignored) the signals that he was finding someone else. I got sooo many hints by how he slowly starting talking about her more and more. How she was invited to get togethers before I was.. people were talking about how they'd make a good couple... sooo sad. Now, all the people who watched us be in love are just fine and dandy with him, and the best advice they'd give me is 'Sometimes people just aren't made for each other' I don't talk to them much and luckily had my own circle of friends who say more like 'He's going to regret it' or 'He didn't deserve you' those of course hurt at first, but feel much better than the previous. The other people I can't even talk to without them saying something like 'You sound good, You sound calm' Just makes you realize some people don't really know you that well, I guess... haha. Long story, sorry. but I feel your pain. Especially on weekends, cause I know they're together...
USMCHokie Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 How she was invited to get togethers before I was.. people were talking about how they'd make a good couple... This is called bullsh*t to save face...they still want to be her friend, so they tell her what she wants to hear... Now, all the people who watched us be in love are just fine and dandy with him, and the best advice they'd give me is 'Sometimes people just aren't made for each other' Other people are not emotionally attached to your relationship, so they probably don't care...they're just saying whatever to help you get over it so they that everyone can move on with their lives...
teanoranges Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 Exactly, needless to say I remain indifferent to those 'friends'. The joy of it all is that my ex has this wonderful personality and makes everyone feel at home with him, but I know he never really feels much for anyone (me included obviously) A couple months down the road, he's going to be barely talking to them. A year or two, he won't be with this girl (or at least, I hope just for sake of saving my own face, pride.. its a killer) I loved him for someone I thought he was, hoped he was.. but every day I'm realizing that he's way more into himself than he should. He doesn't truly care about anyone. That's one of the reasons I think I'm healing well and not near breaking NC. I don't even think I want to be his friend, so why bother trying to bring him back into my life?
Thebob Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 It's horrible, and talk to loved ones and friends as much as you can to get it out. Go by yourself outside in the woods and cry it out so you feel better. I'm serious, I was really drunk one night and prayed to God and cried that he will help me find someone better. I haven't cried in like 8 years till this girl. I never thought that I coulda been hurt that bad in my life but I was. I didn't think a girl could do that to me, lie to me and do what she did to me. I was hurt and I been getting help from my sister, mom and friends. My friends are starting to become sick of it but understand. They threaten to kick my *ss now because I bring her up so much but I understand where they are coming from. Tough it out you got this. Thebob
soheartbroken Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 Hey Canuck. I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I don't know if you feel this way, but I have a "friend" who sided with my ex after the breakup, and it feels like a betrayal. Kinda like being rejected twice. Once by the ex and once by the friends. I guess this is a chance to nurture new friendships, and leave behind any that are not supportive. Also, a lot of people who haven't experienced heartbreak, especially where a third party is involved, simply do not understand how painful it is to be cheated on. After going through what I've now gone through, I would find it incredibly hard to ever side with the cheater. It's just so wrong in so many ways.
StalledGirl Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 Why should he be happy that his ex wife has found happiness with his best friend and he is ignored?! It must be hard for your friends because if they were friends with both of you they probably can't take sides. My only advice is to try and find new people to know so you aren't constantly reminded of your marriage. Hope you find a decent woman one day!
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