cheeze Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 My update.... I tried NC for 10 days...and then the urge to talk to him became too strong for me to handle. 10 days was possible because of LS and all the posters here. I started exercising, doing some painting etc to keep myself busy. After 10 days i felt I am running away from the truth that we both love each other and that im lying to myself by believing the opposite. i spoke with him 'one last time' and was back to the same pathetic state: crying, wanting him back and finding flaws with myself. I dont know from where I got the courage today to tell him 'its the last time m texting you'. Ironically he was with his wife and couldnt call. He replied that he is coming to my town next week and we must meet!!!!!!! Finally I replied "We cant talk till you are married. And what do u think i am that u want to meet me now". I got so angry that I broke my sim (only to realize later that all my contacts were in there )...deleted him fm msngr and other sources of contact... I hope this anger doesnt reduce!! i dont want to contact him again..i dont know till when I cn stop myself, but il take one day at a time...Now i want to stop believin that he loves me. He ripped my heart and i want to hold on to the feeling of heartbreak. still need to figure out how i can stop telling myself that he is the best and my soulmate... i just want to thank gc,9lives,a&k for replying to me ealier. I wouldnt hav been able to do this without this forum.
GrayClouds Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 still need to figure out how i can stop telling myself that he is the best and my soulmate... . Put together a list of all the things that irritated you about him, dislike about him, or simply would have changed, no matter how small and petty. More the better and keep adding to it. I will start: 1.He is married to someone else. 2.He picked his nose shen he Thought I was not looking. 3. 4. Now it's your turn... don't stop until yo get to at least 50. Then pull it out to occasionally remind you, specially when your doubting. You went 10 days, it shows that you can do it. It is not easy but your doing he right things: started exercising, doing some painting etc but it not just about keeping yourself busy it is about slowly finding yourself. Congrats.
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