GrayClouds Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 I know not of this cracker. x "The story of Carr’s Biscuits began during the British Industrial Revolution, when Jonathan Carr formed a small bakery in the city of Carlisle, England in 1831. The business thrived, and became so popular that only 10 years later it was granted Queen Victoria’s Royal Warrant, an award that has been granted to Carr’s by British royalty continuously since that time." I prefer the Hob Nobs and the Wheat Crackers but the water crackers are oh so delicate when mated with quality Brie de Meaux and a nice Pinot with a lighter complicity to start an evening. But I digress.
Author twinklecat Posted November 29, 2009 Author Posted November 29, 2009 Hehe, I prefer Cookies, but not really a biscuit person! Anywhoo, thought I'd check in. Past few days have been a bit up and down again, not as bad as it was so that's something! Had a bit of a "discussion" with him the other day, in which he changed his story twice of him making his decision to end it but yeah, not entirely sure he knows himself! Since then, I dunno things have changed with me, I think it may be acceptance? I don't feel angry anymore towards him or her, infact I spoke to her last night for the first time in weeks. He's also changed his way towards me, I guess my general agressiveness and hostility towards him (I have been quite awful to him, but rightfully so I think!) was making him be the same towards me. Also this issue of his stuff, he still has not sorted it, yet he keeps bringing it up saying he will. Don't have much left to sort of mine, will just ensure mine is done and I'll leave him to his when he wants to do it. 2 weeks till the move!
mickleb Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 Hey twinks You may be in acceptance. You may also find yourself right back in anger at a moments notice. Perhaps being able to be hostile to his face has actually helped you fast forward this stage? But be prepared. This cyclone has a habit of flipping you on your ars* in a second. Hard. Can you just dump the stuff he needs to sort inside his bed, or something? He should get the message.. Nice to see your progress. x
Author twinklecat Posted December 3, 2009 Author Posted December 3, 2009 Hey there! Righty, so as you said above this whole thing is a bit of a cyclone and had a major relapse over the past week (even to the point I was thinking that I wanted to get back with him ugh!!!) I guess the initial driving on etc has made me flag a bit (feel absolutely exhausted tbh) but I do have plenty to look forward to, so that's keeping me going atm. After having a few nice civil days around the house, got into a row with him yesterday evening as he's just expecting me to be all nice with him and accept his ****ty and selfish behaviour towards me, I was annoyed with him as he had been an ass at the xmas party and I am SO annoyed at myself for letting it upset me! At the end of the row last night, he was saying how he is moving all his stuff to his new place (he finally made a start on it with a few boxes the other night) This morning I have finished the job off, absolutely everything is now separated and sorted and I feel so much better for it! Next thing to do is to pack my boxes properly ready to move, gonna see if I can also bring the move in date forward by a week, being in this house has seriously been detrimental to my healing! I've decided I am going to see how things go with living in this country, I have been feeling very isloated but I'm hopeful that will change in the new place, gonna get out in the social circle more. Have been having thoughts about going back home, as well I just feel the need to get far away from him as pyshically possible. I am missing my family a great deal, but I do not want to make any rash decisions. Thanks for the support. How are you by the way? x
Author twinklecat Posted December 3, 2009 Author Posted December 3, 2009 So yet another update. Ex got up to find all his stuff boxed up and outside his room, and was not happy, was walking round stomping and looking angry. (I was very civil with him, didn't argue, did not shout, but wasn't exactly being his best friend) As he took the boxes in his room, I moved more of his stuff out my room, just wanted all of it OUT my room! The next thing he starts packing the car, and disappears off, she starts packing also. They then go off together with alot of stuff, he says they're staying at the new place tonight, he says he will still help with lifts. He also said he isn't moving everything today. ( I feel good that I have given him the kick in the backside to get on with things) Me and other male housemate are in this house for at least another week, a bit worried because of a) not sure if ex will continue to give lifts, only other option is taxi (do have friends helping out where they can) b) estate agent for my new apartment is IMPOSSIBLE to get hold of and never calls back. Deposit is on the place, we've given references etc, and now just want to get the first month rent out the way, so we can move in. On the whole, I feel pretty good, I actually feel jealous that I'm not the one moving out today! The worries aside, I do feel good, I dunno it's very weird and surreal. First night on my own like this in 5 years. It is a breath of fresh air that I'm sitting in the living room not feeling tense and walking on egg shells.
mickleb Posted December 5, 2009 Posted December 5, 2009 Hey twinks. How's it going, having the house back to yourself? Moving is hyper-stressful, ALWAYS. What laws protect you re. your deposit? I always find it helpful to leave messages re. contacting your lawyer, etc, if they're slow to respond. Sorry you're missing your family. Will you be able to see them for Xmas? Will anyone be able to visit you, if not? Otherwise, call as often as poss. Good luck with everything re. the move. You'll soon be in and then you can start your REAL healing, with just you, yourself and, er, you. Put your energy into your new home and consider taking driving lessons or getting a moped, or something so you don't have to rely on that nutjob again. (Consider a new job, otherwise..) x
Author twinklecat Posted December 5, 2009 Author Posted December 5, 2009 Hey mickleb I'm pretty good, having the house to msyelf has been absolute BLISS, I didn't fully expect that, when he left, thought I'd panic and collpase in a bawling heap, but I didn't! Felt calmer and happier than I had in awhile! It has been short lived though, as he's still staying at the house a few nights a week until he's fully moved, and also while helping with lifts. I've just totally changed now though towards him, actually get feelings of disappointment that he's still around when I see him there. Anywhoo, about the new place, housemate found an office number, which me and housemate will be ringing on Monday, hopefully will sort everything out with them at the office on Tuesday, then it's all systems go! I do miss my family, but they are only a phonecall away and have been absolutely fantastic. I'm really determined to get through this, I could run back home, but that's what I have done all my life. Need to stand on my own two feet, and learn from this I am going home for xmas, which I am SO looking forward to! Once I'm settled in the new place one of my plans is to learn to drive ^^ But the place is in walking distance to work, so won't have to rely on anyone, which used to scare me, but I really do prefer doing things for myself! How have you been doing? x
Author twinklecat Posted December 10, 2009 Author Posted December 10, 2009 Thought I'd drop in and update Me and housemate got the keys and are now pretty much moved in the new place, bar a few bits and pieces of furniture, which I will be getting moved next week. I love this new place, really want to make it nice, yet at the same time it's really weird being here on my own. Guess I am in kinda of a reflective mood, wishing I had tv set up etc, kinda miss it lol. Love being closer to civilization and to work ^^ I'm hoping after next week, that is it, no more contact bar on work grounds, as while moving stuff today, bumped into ex at the house, and it wasn't exactly comfortable, he did help move some stuff though. He's still being generally weird, but ho hum, my new life awaits!
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