Thebob Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 From all these posts I read everyday, the main general outcome is that we are all hurt, in pain, and scared of our future. But by logging on and reading all these other posts do you all think it helps us? While were on LS were only on for one general outcome and that is to cope with our loss. But shouldn't we be out trying to meet new people? make our lives better and find "The One" instead of sitting on our butts and dreading even more. If we log on LS it brings our ex's back right away and I feel it makes us relapse a little but more. Just a personal opinion, would like to hear other peoples outputs. Thebob
pricillia Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 Loveshack for the most part is a supportive place and you find people who have been there done that, and when you do you learn from thier experiences and are able to cope with a truly difficult situation. Everybody needs time to regroup and heal and this is a place where you will get honest opinions, some you may like and some you may not. I found loveshack unexpectedly and it helped me be able to get my emotions out when I found myself in a relationship that I never thought I would be in and that I was dead against (relationship with a MM ) but the relationship made me realize that I was human and I make mistakes and that you learn from them. You can still live your life and visit the shack
threebyfate Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 LS is a community of individuals where most came here, due to emotional trauma. But it shouldn't be a one-way street, where people come here to heal, solely taking, and never giving to anyone else, then leaving. You see this so often, that truth be told, it annoys the hell outta' me. I have serious difficulty having respect for individuals who never give back what they've sucked out of the community.
pricillia Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 LS is a community of individuals where most came here, due to emotional trauma. But it shouldn't be a one-way street, where people come here to heal, solely taking, and never giving to anyone else, then leaving. You see this so often, that truth be told, it annoys the hell outta' me. I have serious difficulty having respect for individuals who never give back what they've sucked out of the community. Sometimes people come back after they are healed and are able to give back.. for me personally while I was here when I was in a unhealthy relationship I was able to give back but still all wrapped up. Now I can actually give advice because I can actually relate now that I am on the other side.
threebyfate Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 Sometimes people come back after they are healed and are able to give back.. for me personally while I was here when I was in a unhealthy relationship I was able to give back but still all wrapped up. Now I can actually give advice because I can actually relate now that I am on the other side.Of the ones who've wandered off, the vast majority don't come back or only come back for more help.
hopesndreams Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 LS saved my sanity at the time I desperately needed it. It's a place to be so you don't feel alone. Only those that have been through the same pain can understand it and know where you're coming from. This has been the toughest year of my life but have grown so much as a person because of it. LS helped a great deal with that. The people here have so much insight and can help put things in perspective when you are struggling with emotional trauma. This place, for me, doesn't pick at my scabs or reopen wounds and maybe it does for those that disappear from here after being helped.
HeavenOrHell Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 LS has really helped me to feel I'm not alone in how I feel, I would feel lost without LS. I hope one day if/when I feel better I might be able to help others here.
threebyfate Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 Self-centric attitudes are a zero-sum game. Part of the ability to move on, is trying not to solely focus on your personal miseries. In helping others, not only do others benefit but you also gain from the insight. Win/win.
GrayClouds Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 From all these posts I read everyday, the main general outcome is that we are all hurt, in pain, and scared of our future. But by logging on and reading all these other posts do you all think it helps us? While were on LS were only on for one general outcome and that is to cope with our loss. But shouldn't we be out trying to meet new people? make our lives better and find "The One" instead of sitting on our butts and dreading even more. If we log on LS it brings our ex's back right away and I feel it makes us relapse a little but more. Just a personal opinion, would like to hear other peoples outputs. Thebob Just by asking that question it shows your moving on. When you first get on LS there is never a doubt but then over time you start to wonder. That wondering is your no longer in need for the support as you once was, hence moving forward. There will be set backs. It does not you have healed but it does illustrate your moving on to another phase. Congrats. Ultimately any one way that helps you move forward can not be the only way. Healing require each of us to do veriety of different action to get there. The support, and even the self absorbed personal pitty parties post on LS is one way.
Author Thebob Posted November 21, 2009 Author Posted November 21, 2009 Just by asking that question it shows your moving on. When you first get on LS there is never a doubt but then over time you start to wonder. That wondering is your no longer in need for the support as you once was, hence moving forward. There will be set backs. It does not you have healed but it does illustrate your moving on to another phase. Congrats. Ultimately any one way that helps you move forward can not be the only way. Healing require each of us to do veriety of different action to get there. The support, and even the self absorbed personal pitty parties post on LS is one way. Your right, I didn't really look at it this way, I mean I think of my ex quite often but being on this site brings her back emotionally harder and harder. I will always be here giving people support and what not, but when I do, it brings her back as well. Does that make sense? Like every time I help others it feels that I am pulling myself back a tiny bit. Maybe i'm selfish but hopefully this post isn't resembling that. Thebob
nobmagnet Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 The Bob someof your posts have been quite harsh today, dont get me wrong they make me smile! But maybe you are right and it isnt helping your situation at the moment taking on board other peoples problems? I dunno. I do know i too found this by chance and it has leped me more than I could ever have realised. Its good for me to relate to other issues and learn from experiances other have had. It does make methink ofmy ex but not in a negative way as I realise somethings are not ment to be.
Chaosphynx Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 Im probably, no definatley not in a good state mentally, emotionally, or physically......but when I hopped on a week a ago, I had only my own tormented thoughts, I still do, but the thoughts of others (which I thank) helps to provide, if anything alternatives to your own. I feel devastated and hopeless at the moment, but for brief seconds throughout the day this site has helped...at least in considering things I do not want to
GrayClouds Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 (edited) Your right, I didn't really look at it this way, I mean I think of my ex quite often but being on this site brings her back emotionally harder and harder. Possible it is because your getting closer and closer to letting go, it always gets hard before it get easier. Besides if you watch football while being on LS, your still a stud (well that's what I tell myself) Edited November 21, 2009 by GrayClouds
Author Thebob Posted November 21, 2009 Author Posted November 21, 2009 lol, I guess I'll go watch some football thebob
teanoranges Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 I like LS because it gives an opportunity to vent things you can't say to everyone around you. It also has many more forums besides 'heartbreak' I stick around now because I feel alot of kindness towards people who listened and offered advice. To be honest, I'm not in any torn up stages anymore and ready to move on, but I still really respect the advice and people and want to offer my story or advice for others too.
rickigal Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 I am not on here constantly. I have found a life outside of my ex for me. I actually recently got involved in AA again and made some amazing new friends. I go to meetings all of the time and out with the girls from AA. I got the advice to do things for me here and it has been amazing for my recovery both for alcohol and the breakup. But when I do feel the urge to call/email/text him I come here and I get the most amazing advice from the most amazing people who have been where I am. They talk me out of it and keep me going. They bring me back to reality and keep me grounded which is what I need from time to time. Luckily it has been nearly two months since the breakup and I am healing quite nicely. I owe it to this forum and to my new found life that I am living for myself and not a significant other.
USMCHokie Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 I think this community helps me more than anything...I try to respond, support, and help more than look for it, because offering advice seems to help me more than receiving it...it helps to affirm the validity of everything I have learned over the course of my breakup... Yes, reading stories here and responding to them brings back thoughts of my ex, but for me, that's moving on...it gets less and less painful each day...and the reality of it is, 99% of your relationships are going to fail...until you've met that one for you...and seeing from everyone else on LS and realizing that most relationships do fail, it helps you see the big picture that, we fall and have to pick ourselves up again for the next one...and to hear from others that life does go on after a breakup is reassuring...
deux ex machina Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 LS saved my sanity at the time I desperately needed it. It's a place to be so you don't feel alone. Only those that have been through the same pain can understand it and know where you're coming from. This has been the toughest year of my life but have grown so much as a person because of it. LS helped a great deal with that. The people here have so much insight and can help put things in perspective when you are struggling with emotional trauma. This place, for me, doesn't pick at my scabs or reopen wounds and maybe it does for those that disappear from here after being helped. Yes, I think that every poster has their own reasons for staying, leaving, and posting as they do. I don't have any strong associations between this forum and my ex, however for those that do, I totally get how it could become painful. Leaving the forum then becomes the best option for them. I quite like LS, and have come to know and care for many of the posters here. I like LS because it gives an opportunity to vent things you can't say to everyone around you. It also has many more forums besides 'heartbreak' I stick around now because I feel alot of kindness towards people who listened and offered advice. To be honest, I'm not in any torn up stages anymore and ready to move on, but I still really respect the advice and people and want to offer my story or advice for others too. I share your feelings. Often, I will post with someone who comes here in an extreme state of mind, and seeing them over weeks and months feeling better and helping others is great. I do follow certain posters who for whatever reason strike a chord with me.
mike5770 Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 I think this site helps an awful lot. It really helps numb the pain when I share my story and see I am not the only one. I wnt to get it on my iphone for when I get drunk again so I can come on here before I text her again. I still need time to heal but a great place to go on the really bad setback days!
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