4givrnt4gtr Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 Today, as I was going to get some food across my work I heard a loud little sparrow flipping out. I thought it was fighting with other birds but then I Realized it was by itself, just going all kinds of crazies. At first i thought it had lost a leg as it could not stand straight. THen i saw the two legs but it still couldnt maintain the balance and kept flooping around. People would stop, stare and continue on with their day. I for some reason could no do the same. For a little bit it stood still but then started losing its balance and was in danger of getting stepped on so I picked it up. ( I know, not very sanitary, but not really a priority right then) It calmed down for a little bit while i cupped it in my hands. Then he started freaking out again and fell to the ground. I picked it up again and try to hold it so it wouldnt fall and hurt itself more. Again it calmed down, I pet its little head, and it looked straight at me. We stayed like that for a little while and then it started freaking out again, I kept petting it and trying to calm it down...and then it died. I literally felt it die in my hands. ITs such an unnerving thing. I walked with the dead bird to where I could bury it. As I was burying it I couldnt help but cry. I know ridiculous right? but for some reason it totally shooked me. It made me think about my kitty again and how if a random sparrow dying breaks my heart I cant imagine my kitty who i adore. That actually made me miss my ex, one day he called me asking me if i knew how to know if i bird needed help. Apparently he found a baby bird on the floor and didnt know what to do. He ended up watching it throughout the day, making sure it didnt get eaten. Those were the kind of things that made me fall in love with him. It sucks to remember it and miss it and especially know that I dont know anyone else who would understand where im coming from. In any case, I guess i had to vent about it....im not really coping the death of the little bird..but it did rattle me. So I was telling my guy friend, who ive been wondering if i actually like him, joking that i needed a drink after having the bird die in my hands. HE just made fun of me for being upset about the bird. Called me weirdo for caring . (totally helped me answer my question about him!) In any case....i guess i wanted to vent. I hope someday Ill find someone again is just as much of a weirdo as I am.
HeavenOrHell Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 I care for injured birds, and know how it feels for them to die in your hands. All I can say is it isn't weird to care, I wish there were more people like you out there. Thank you for caring Today, as I was going to get some food across my work I heard a loud little sparrow flipping out. I thought it was fighting with other birds but then I Realized it was by itself, just going all kinds of crazies. At first i thought it had lost a leg as it could not stand straight. THen i saw the two legs but it still couldnt maintain the balance and kept flooping around. People would stop, stare and continue on with their day. I for some reason could no do the same. For a little bit it stood still but then started losing its balance and was in danger of getting stepped on so I picked it up. ( I know, not very sanitary, but not really a priority right then) It calmed down for a little bit while i cupped it in my hands. Then he started freaking out again and fell to the ground. I picked it up again and try to hold it so it wouldnt fall and hurt itself more. Again it calmed down, I pet its little head, and it looked straight at me. We stayed like that for a little while and then it started freaking out again, I kept petting it and trying to calm it down...and then it died. I literally felt it die in my hands. ITs such an unnerving thing. I walked with the dead bird to where I could bury it. As I was burying it I couldnt help but cry. I know ridiculous right? but for some reason it totally shooked me. It made me think about my kitty again and how if a random sparrow dying breaks my heart I cant imagine my kitty who i adore. That actually made me miss my ex, one day he called me asking me if i knew how to know if i bird needed help. Apparently he found a baby bird on the floor and didnt know what to do. He ended up watching it throughout the day, making sure it didnt get eaten. Those were the kind of things that made me fall in love with him. It sucks to remember it and miss it and especially know that I dont know anyone else who would understand where im coming from. In any case, I guess i had to vent about it....im not really coping the death of the little bird..but it did rattle me. So I was telling my guy friend, who ive been wondering if i actually like him, joking that i needed a drink after having the bird die in my hands. HE just made fun of me for being upset about the bird. Called me weirdo for caring . (totally helped me answer my question about him!) In any case....i guess i wanted to vent. I hope someday Ill find someone again is just as much of a weirdo as I am.
Brightmoon Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 I agree with H or H.... you are not weird for caring.... only more endearing.. You connected with the pain that sparrow was in and nurtured and protected it..and grieved for it. I know exactly how you feel about the bird reminding you of your ex and his caring nature. It must have hurt to remember. As I was writing this... and about to type "endearing" I stopped in my tracks. It was what a very dear friend called me after we first met. We were friends who chatted regularly, he is married. We were just friends who chatted and who realised we were fond of each other and that nothing could ever happen. He has cut off all communication now because his wife has found something out (not about me... someone else) . He said he is trying to save his marriage, and that we cannot correspond now. Hurts to lose my wonderful friend. I feel like that sparrow. Unable to contain my pain.. I am so glad you looked after it.. *hugs* I wish you all the best too.
mickleb Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 I get you completely. Glad you found out the guy you weren't sure you liked was the weirdo, too! Make sure you cherish your heart as carefully as you did that bird, and you'll be fine. x
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