Sash Bunny Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 :love:Okay so, I'm a girl and I REALLY like my best friend,who is also a girl, and more than a best friend should, if you know what I meen... I want to tell her but I can't find th courage! I know she's okay with people being in same-sex couples and stuff but I don't know if she like girls too! I've asked her before and she doesn't know herself! So the big problem is if she doesn't like me in the same way i'm scared she will drift away from me and i really don't want that! If anything I want us to be even closer! Which is hard to imagin because we have known each other for YEARS! She sometimes jokes about us being in a relationship... but I don't think she takes it seriously!
jerseyboy Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 :love:Okay so, I'm a girl and I REALLY like my best friend,who is also a girl, and more than a best friend should, if you know what I meen... I want to tell her but I can't find th courage! I know she's okay with people being in same-sex couples and stuff but I don't know if she like girls too! I've asked her before and she doesn't know herself! So the big problem is if she doesn't like me in the same way i'm scared she will drift away from me and i really don't want that! If anything I want us to be even closer! Which is hard to imagin because we have known each other for YEARS! She sometimes jokes about us being in a relationship... but I don't think she takes it seriously! Does she know youre gay? I wouldnt tell her either way, but it might make a difference on how shell interpret your advances. I would just be flirty (complimentary etc) and more touchy feely with her, see how she reacts and whether she responds to your advances. Go drinking and start dancing up on her. See how much she returns the attention. Take it from there. That way if you can sense youre freaking her out, you can always back off without throwing it all out there for her to have to deal with mnroe directly
Author Sash Bunny Posted November 20, 2009 Author Posted November 20, 2009 Does she know youre gay? I wouldnt tell her either way, but it might make a difference on how shell interpret your advances. I would just be flirty (complimentary etc) and more touchy feely with her, see how she reacts and whether she responds to your advances. Go drinking and start dancing up on her. See how much she returns the attention. Take it from there. That way if you can sense youre freaking her out, you can always back off without throwing it all out there for her to have to deal with mnroe directly I already am touchy feely with her and she doesn't seem to mind.. but I'm too young to go out drinking and her dad hardaly lets her out the house... She doesn't know i like girls... and thats a really big problem ... She can tell that i've been hiding something and has asked me alot about it...
SoulSearch_CO Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 She doesn't know i like girls... and thats a really big problem ... She can tell that i've been hiding something and has asked me alot about it... She's your BFF and she doesn't know you like girls? My goodness. Do you two never talk together about cute guys? Usually girls do that. How old are you, if you don't mind me asking? I say give it a shot - confess that you like girls. You can gauge after you get her reaction to THAT revelation, first.
Author Sash Bunny Posted November 21, 2009 Author Posted November 21, 2009 She's your BFF and she doesn't know you like girls? My goodness. Do you two never talk together about cute guys? Usually girls do that. How old are you, if you don't mind me asking? I say give it a shot - confess that you like girls. You can gauge after you get her reaction to THAT revelation, first. We're both 14... we once talked about weather we prefer girls or boys... she said she doesn't really know. She then asked me if I'm stright or bi (because I've been out with a boy) but at that min about 3 guys that i really hate and who always call me for every little thing walked over to us and started calling me a les because I was hugging her at the time.... so I didn't end up telling her my answer... becuase i was too busy telling them to shut the **** up....
ADF Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 IF you're really such good friends, you should be able to tell her what you're thinking. If the answer is no, so what? You'll be no worse off than you are now. And at least you'll have an answer.
Katie94 Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 You may not be gay (i hate that word) perhaps curious and I assume she is also curious. I have a similar situation. I have a friend (F) and we have kissed and she is a terrific kisser. We have never done anything below the waist as we both know it is wrong for our religion. It all started when she drove me home one night and asked me if she could kiss me. I asked her to wait and after a few weeks we were together and kissed. We go to the same school and she is two years older than I am.
Author Sash Bunny Posted November 21, 2009 Author Posted November 21, 2009 :love:Okay so, I'm a girl and I REALLY like my best friend,who is also a girl, and more than a best friend should, if you know what I meen... I want to tell her but I can't find th courage! I know she's okay with people being in same-sex couples and stuff but I don't know if she like girls too! I've asked her before and she doesn't know herself! So the big problem is if she doesn't like me in the same way i'm scared she will drift away from me and i really don't want that! If anything I want us to be even closer! Which is hard to imagin because we have known each other for YEARS! She sometimes jokes about us being in a relationship... but I don't think she takes it seriously! Today I told her. She didn't seem to bothered by it though She even told me she had a crush on me! It shocked me! But I have the feeling she didn't take me seriously though... so I dont know what to do...
SincereOnlineGuy Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 I say that you're a very normal person, at a very difficult stage in life, and if I could control one element of your surroundings, it would be that this good friend of yours doesn't trample your feelings or belittle you for having them. If you tune into Loveshack in 15 years, I'm guessing you'll be married to a guy with or without a child or two on the ground. The feelings and curiosity you're sharing are all just a part of evolving into the future you. You will be OK no matter the outcome of this.
SoulSearch_CO Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 Today I told her. She didn't seem to bothered by it though She even told me she had a crush on me! It shocked me! But I have the feeling she didn't take me seriously though... so I dont know what to do... I think it might be worth a shot to give her a little kiss when you're having one of your touchy-feely sessions.
Author Sash Bunny Posted November 22, 2009 Author Posted November 22, 2009 I think it might be worth a shot to give her a little kiss when you're having one of your touchy-feely sessions. Yeah, I think I will But I'll have to make sure we're alone though... none of my other friends know...
Author Sash Bunny Posted November 22, 2009 Author Posted November 22, 2009 I say that you're a very normal person, at a very difficult stage in life, and if I could control one element of your surroundings, it would be that this good friend of yours doesn't trample your feelings or belittle you for having them. If you tune into Loveshack in 15 years, I'm guessing you'll be married to a guy with or without a child or two on the ground. The feelings and curiosity you're sharing are all just a part of evolving into the future you. You will be OK no matter the outcome of this. C: Thanks for your comment, But the thought of having a kid screaming and crying for things is scary! I wouldn't want Mini-Me's runnig around! xD It's evough with just me!
tigressA Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 Today I told her. She didn't seem to bothered by it though She even told me she had a crush on me! It shocked me! But I have the feeling she didn't take me seriously though... so I dont know what to do... Why do you get the feeling like she didn't take you seriously? Was it the way she responded to your telling her? Did you communicate to her when you told her that it was serious, or did you do it in more of a joking manner?
Author Sash Bunny Posted November 22, 2009 Author Posted November 22, 2009 Why do you get the feeling like she didn't take you seriously? Was it the way she responded to your telling her? Did you communicate to her when you told her that it was serious, or did you do it in more of a joking manner? When I got home I went on to MSN. She was online and she asked me if I was serious... that's why I think she didn't take it seriously ... and when i said yes she changed the subject...
Author Sash Bunny Posted November 25, 2009 Author Posted November 25, 2009 :'( You people don't know how depressed I am right now! She now keeps telling me to take back my confession!
jerseyboy Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 Thats why once it became clear shes just a child peole shouldnt of responded. Especially telling her to communicate it to her friend. She not only weirded her out, but now has to deal with the inevitable everyone knows garbage
SoulSearch_CO Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 Thats why once it became clear shes just a child peole shouldnt of responded. Especially telling her to communicate it to her friend. She not only weirded her out, but now has to deal with the inevitable everyone knows garbage Nobody could've predicted the outcome. Life's about taking chances. You NEVER know exactly what's going to happen. THAT'S LIFE. Not just when you're young, but your whole life through. It's not the end of the world. Sash - I know it's difficult, but if you want to keep her as a friend, it may be best to just tell her you made a mistake. It's clear she couldn't handle the confession. Not everybody that comes along that you are attracted to is going to be compatible - that's just how it is. I know it's really hard to deal with - I know how it feels to be rejected. There will be other girls. This one just wasn't a good fit.
jerseyboy Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 Realy? I was thinking it as soon as she responded with her age. I didnt want to get involved giving any kind of advice to someone elses child, but it was entirely predictable. How many 14 yr old girls isnt that going to weird out. And everyone always talked about that sort of thing back in high school
SoulSearch_CO Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 JB - when somebody is gay, generally they have an inkling of it from a young age...being born that way, and all. So no - not EVERY 14-y/o girl is going to be "weirded out" by that. But anyway - let's keep this in perspective - like I said, it's not the end of the world. It hurts in this moment, but life will continue. There will be new people and new events. It isn't going to serve anybody to focus on the shoulda-coulda-wouldas. How about what the OP can do to move forward with life rather than dwelling on something that is depressing her?
Author Sash Bunny Posted March 20, 2011 Author Posted March 20, 2011 Okay, so over a year has passed since I've said anything on this thread (sorry about that.) I'm now 16. And to be quit frank I still like her. and I see her every day, she's even in some of my classes. It does hurts to not have her mine, but I would rather not force her to be with me if she doesn't want to be so I haven't brought it up since that time. She still my best friend, we still act childish with each other still. the only think that has changed is out physical age. I've been going out with other people to try and cover up my feelings for her but it hasn't worked well. Because I keep thinking of my best friend rather than the person I'm going out with, and I end up feeling guilty, so either way the relationships end up not lasting very long. But that you all for trying to be supportive, as it has made me feel better. It makes me sad to think that next year I will be in collage without her there. She's always been around, so for her to suddenly not be there, will probably make me feel lonley at first. (also I think that jersey boy did do right to try to help in his own way so I don't think it's fair to criticise him and vice versa)
alexlakeman Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 Two year update.... Good luck... You are still a kid, so be careful what you do... As a parent, i would prefer my kids to feel comfortable in coming to ME about stuff like that (alhtough , yes, i would freak out, but we would work it out) vs to a bunch of mostlry adult strangers.. In the two years, have you dated boys or girls? If you don't feel like answering, that's fine.. Good luck in college
Author Sash Bunny Posted March 20, 2011 Author Posted March 20, 2011 I understand what your saying as a parent, but I feel uncomfortable talking to people about this sort of stuff to people face-to-face so I feel like I can't tell my parents. They don't even know that I like girls... But I feel more comfortable when I can just type out what I'm trying to say, that's why I go onto websites for advice rather than talking to my parents about it. I've been dating both boys and girls. Most recently girls. Thank you!
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