health Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 SPELL CHECK = Frustrating. I appologize...check it out.... Any dating tips? Hey all. I have been broken up now for one month shy of a year. My girl jumped into a relationship after 3 days - she left a a 5 year one with me to enter one with a guy she only knew for 3 months. Thank God I'm not with her. I'm N/C for 7 months +... Anyway. So every fri and sat since, I've been going to clubs. I've never met any girls I liked. One asked for my number. I met a few added on fb. Nothing went forward. Online dating - all the girls are so regular with their club pictures etc. I did have one fling with a friend back in march. I'm tempted to do it again but this girl had been around and feel sick being with her. Basically I am pulling all stops, I 'm trying everything...Nothing has clicked. I guess I'll just keep trying. Part of me feels trying too hard wont work - however I know staying at home won't get me anywhere neither. It hurts cause I felt I had everything I wanted, I would have stayed if she never crossed the line. She was unemployed uneducated, selfish, and an ugly person overall - yet I still loved her. This is all great cause this year my confidence went up 1000X. I don't let people mistreat me any more, and feel great for it! The thing is - I don't want to even entertain a girl who has no interest in me - I learned that - they have to like me too! I'm not rushing everywhere for them anymore - I try but if they don't reciprocate forget it. One thing is sometimes I go out alone...everyone is talking at the club, I dance etc...but don't really strike up convos....cause alot of girls I'm not into....the ones I like...nothing really happens.....I plan on keep on trying and improving my approach...I will eventually find one.
USMCHokie Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 Any dating tips? Part of me feels trying too hard wont work - however I know staying at home won't get me anywhere neither. This is all great cause this year my confidence went up 1000X. I don't let people mistreat me any more, and feel great for it! The thing is - I don't want to even entertain a girl who has no interest in me - I learned that - they have to like me too! I'm not rushing everywhere for them anymore - I try but if they don't reciprocate forget it. Have fun...don't approach every new person you meet with the attitude that you need to make her the one...and I think you're on the right path...right after my breakup, I tried to force something to happen because I missed being in a relationship so much...it just led to a whole lot of frustration that I was a failure and that no one would ever love me like my ex did...this stuff takes time, and like you said, you don't want to waste your time with the wrong women... Enjoy singledom...before you know it, you'll meet your one when you don't expect it...
Author health Posted November 21, 2009 Author Posted November 21, 2009 Have fun...don't approach every new person you meet with the attitude that you need to make her the one...and I think you're on the right path...right after my breakup, I tried to force something to happen because I missed being in a relationship so much...it just led to a whole lot of frustration that I was a failure and that no one would ever love me like my ex did...this stuff takes time, and like you said, you don't want to waste your time with the wrong women... Enjoy singledom...before you know it, you'll meet your one when you don't expect it... Hey USM, thanks so much! I will be more casual about it then. Thanks again! I honeslty doubt my ex even likes the guy she rebounded with. I remember her telling me how she doesn't know how long it'll last and that she feels numb emotionally. + She kept calling me months after begging to speak with me ha ha at her. lol True intimacy gets corrupted when people cheat, trust is low, and other crap. Thanks again. I won't expect so much. I really don't want to give in to this one girl for a fling again - it's tempting, but she's been with so many guys it sickens me. I already did it once with her and felt incredibly guilty after. I need to chill out. Thanks again!
USMCHokie Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 I honeslty doubt my ex even likes the guy she rebounded with. Who gives a crap...? I remember her telling me how she doesn't know how long it'll last and that she feels numb emotionally. These are just words to get a reaction out of you = poo poo...look at actions, not words... Thanks again! Anytime!
GrayClouds Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 I suspect it shows your not over the ex, they can smell that. That be it as it may, try a different venue, like a activity; mountain biking class, running group, borrow a friends dog a go to a dog park, writing group but more active the better; it forces conversations. I find it can be helpful to think the girl your talking to is the one who is going to introduce you to the one you will like. It takes the pressure off. But it does sound like your doing pretty good overall.
Author health Posted November 21, 2009 Author Posted November 21, 2009 I suspect it shows your not over the ex, they can smell that. That be it as it may, try a different venue, like a activity; mountain biking class, running group, borrow a friends dog a go to a dog park, writing group but more active the better; it forces conversations. I find it can be helpful to think the girl your talking to is the one who is going to introduce you to the one you will like. It takes the pressure off. But it does sound like your doing pretty good overall. Thanks. I don't tal about the ex at all. Still I know - senses right? I'm really active, it's whatever. Before I was with her I wasn't evenlooking, just living my life. I didn't even like her super much, she liked me. I liked her, knowing she liked me was exciting, then it grew from there. I will find a great girl in time. I have the day booked tommorow with alot of fun things, so I'm set! Thanks again GC, much appreciated!
GrayClouds Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 Thanks. I don't tal about the ex at all. Still I know - senses right? I'm really active, it's whatever. Before I was with her I wasn't evenlooking, just living my life. I didn't even like her super much, she liked me. I liked her, knowing she liked me was exciting, then it grew from there. I will find a great girl in time. I have the day booked tommorow with alot of fun things, so I'm set! Thanks again GC, much appreciated! Yes it is one of those truths that prove to me God has a twisted sense of humor, the more you want to find someone, the harder it is. The good news for you is that imagin how great the next one will be when thet sneak into your life (likely when you are least thinking about it and almost given up). Next time you get to experience mutual affection. And then when that realtionship falls apart then you will reallllly be hurting ( I'm don't sound bitter do I? I kid, I kid...) Keep at it.
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