Online guy travelling thousands of miles accross the atlantic to meet me! :)

November 20, 2009

In one word, YES.

Unless he travels to the UK often and has an unlimited disposable income and enjoys being a jetsetter...

I dont get why he would be desperate though, hes very handsome, 6ft, intelligent, owns his own company - he certainly should have no problem attracting woman. Oh, his looks verified by seeing him on webcam in real time.

And this will be his first visit to the UK btw.

He sounds solvent but I wouldnt describe him as having unlimited disposable income or anything! However he is currently living with his parents and in the army reserve as well as running his own business therefore he may have more to play with than your average Joe.

November 20, 2009

I dont get why he would be desperate though, hes very handsome, 6ft, intelligent, owns his own company - he certainly should have no problem attracting woman. Oh, his looks verified by seeing him on webcam in real time.

And this will be his first visit to the UK btw.

He sounds solvent but I wouldnt describe him as having unlimited disposable income or anything! However he is currently living with his parents and in the army reserve as well as running his own business therefore he may have more to play with than your average Joe.

and he lives with his parents lol

Theres a shock

IM honestly not trying to be cruel sweetie. Maybe just wake you up a bit

Be careful and have fun I guess

November 20, 2009

Take..it..slow..No need to rush into the sex thing, just because he's flying out to see you doesn't mean you HAVE to have sex with him.

I agree with some others, somehow is it possible to verify/check up on him? NOT saying he's lying, a scammer, a user, etc, but never say never..There are some really f'ed up people in this world! Last thing any of us want to happen is for you to get hurt, or something ..

November 20, 2009

Take..it..slow..No need to rush into the sex thing, just because he's flying out to see you doesn't mean you HAVE to have sex with him.

I agree with some others, somehow is it possible to verify/check up on him? NOT saying he's lying, a scammer, a user, etc, but never say never..There are some really f'ed up people in this world! Last thing any of us want to happen is for you to get hurt, or something ..

I will have sex with him when he comes over, not because feel I have to but cos I want to. I love sexual intimacy and its been too long since I was last intimate with someone. However I will not be giving it up on the first night just in case he thinks Im easy which is not true at all, I can count my total partners on one hand.

No other way of checking up on him really, just need to take the plunge and go ahead with the meeting (in public of course!)

I know you are worried about me because of what happened with the MM but I am feeling much better now and ready to move on, however I am still damaged over what happened which is why I worry so much about how this will turn out and whether he too will hurt me. Im hoping that lightening wont strike twice though!

November 20, 2009

and he lives with his parents lol

Theres a shock

IM honestly not trying to be cruel sweetie. Maybe just wake you up a bit

Be careful and have fun I guess

Whats that supposed to mean?

As discussed on a recent thread, depending on circumstances there is nothing wrong with a guy living with parents. With online guy it is due to his personal circumstances and he has found himself temporarily back at his family home.

November 20, 2009

I have only one bit of advice: Assume nothing. Nothing. If it doesn't sit right with you to go with the flow and see if/how things develop in their own time, you need to be straight with him that you're looking for a committed, long-term relationship -- before you really start falling for someone who may not be on the same page.

It's great to be excited and optimistic about this guy, and it's entirely possible that this could work out really well for both of you. But you know what you want, and it is a bit of a risk to make assumptions that he wants the same thing based on a few casual observations. If you need to know, ask. And if you're afraid to ask, learn to live with the uncertainty. But please don't assume!

November 21, 2009

I will have sex with him when he comes over, not because feel I have to but cos I want to. I love sexual intimacy and its been too long since I was last intimate with someone. However I will not be giving it up on the first night just in case he thinks Im easy which is not true at all, I can count my total partners on one hand.

No other way of checking up on him really, just need to take the plunge and go ahead with the meeting (in public of course!)

I know you are worried about me because of what happened with the MM but I am feeling much better now and ready to move on, however I am still damaged over what happened which is why I worry so much about how this will turn out and whether he too will hurt me. Im hoping that lightening wont strike twice though!

This isn't about the exMM, it's about your safety, in and out of bed. Just use a condom....And if he refuses to, then don't have sex. (Just let him play with your boobs!!)

I like what someone else said, assume nothing. Maybe you two will hit it off perfectly, but maybe you won't. Things can change when you meet face to face. He could have bad breath, or body odor..Or have some weird mannerisms that bug you..Anything is possible. Maybe the chemistry won't be the same as it is online and on the phone.

November 21, 2009

This isn't about the exMM, it's about your safety, in and out of bed. Just use a condom....And if he refuses to, then don't have sex. (Just let him play with your boobs!!)

I like what someone else said, assume nothing. Maybe you two will hit it off perfectly, but maybe you won't. Things can change when you meet face to face. He could have bad breath, or body odor..Or have some weird mannerisms that bug you..Anything is possible. Maybe the chemistry won't be the same as it is online and on the phone.

Of course I will use a condom, that is totally mandatory to me and hopefully to him also.

And very much looking forward to try the boob thing with him hehe!

Heres hoping we will get on in real life as we have done online, Im sure we will do and he must be confident too else he wouldnt take the risk of visiting me and inconveniencing himself. I guess it will all be about how we smell to each other and the body language - he better not be a smelly man!

November 21, 2009

I'm not trying to be a downer here, and I'm all for people finding some happiness in their dating life, but something about this doesn't sit right from my view.

I'd be asking myself why a guy is living at home, but has the money to fly out to another vacation and pay for a hotel and all that. I'd be asking myself why he's flying across seas to meet someone he doesn't really know.

It also sounds like you've got some fantasy ideas going on (relocating).

I'd see it different if this trip was previously planned, and he decided to meet up with you after talking with you online, but daaang... an over seas trip to meet someone for the first time?

November 21, 2009

I'm not trying to be a downer here, and I'm all for people finding some happiness in their dating life, but something about this doesn't sit right from my view.

I'd be asking myself why a guy is living at home, but has the money to fly out to another vacation and pay for a hotel and all that. I'd be asking myself why he's flying across seas to meet someone he doesn't really know.

It also sounds like you've got some fantasy ideas going on (relocating).

I'd see it different if this trip was previously planned, and he decided to meet up with you after talking with you online, but daaang... an over seas trip to meet someone for the first time?

There is a reason hes back living at home and I did mention somewhere on here it is only temporary, this is being quite specific but he actually runs a building company and therefore has the opportunity to build his own home which he planned to do asap, however the army calls and he will be away for 9 months shortly anyway so he has had to put his building plans on hold until he returns in 18 months or so.

I am actually very flattered that he would make a special trip to come and see me, he must be keen to do that, right?

And whats wrong with taking an overseas trip to meet someone for the first time? In order to take the next step we would have to do have a meeting at some point - and that would always involve one or both of us flying overseas. Isnt life about taking chances?

November 21, 2009

I dont get why he would be desperate though, hes very handsome, 6ft, intelligent, owns his own company - he certainly should have no problem attracting woman. Oh, his looks verified by seeing him on webcam in real time.

If he had no problem attracting women then he wouldn't be using online dating or traveling across the globe to find a woman. I'll be the first to admit I was an AFC in my younger days, but I was never AFC to the point where I'd cross state lines to meet someone.

November 21, 2009

Does he have a hotel?

November 21, 2009

There is a reason hes back living at home and I did mention somewhere on here it is only temporary, this is being quite specific but he actually runs a building company and therefore has the opportunity to build his own home which he planned to do asap, however the army calls and he will be away for 9 months shortly anyway so he has had to put his building plans on hold until he returns in 18 months or so.

I am actually very flattered that he would make a special trip to come and see me, he must be keen to do that, right?

And whats wrong with taking an overseas trip to meet someone for the first time? In order to take the next step we would have to do have a meeting at some point - and that would always involve one or both of us flying overseas. Isnt life about taking chances?

Okay, so he's going away for the army for nine months, why would he want to start a relationship now?

I guess I find it odd that someone wants to get involved with a new person who lives so far away.

LDRs can be quite difficult as it is, like when you have to move far away from your SO, imagine how hard it is to just start to date someone LD.

If it where me, now knowing he's going to be called off for the army for quite some time, I'm willing to bet he's looking for a fun get away before he heads off. But that's just my opinion.

Besides, a guy can like someone and have no intentions of being involved with them long term. You're wanting something to come out of this, you're going into this with the idea that something is going to come out of this, when you don't even know what he's looking for.

November 21, 2009

If he had no problem attracting women then he wouldn't be using online dating or traveling across the globe to find a woman. I'll be the first to admit I was an AFC in my younger days, but I was never AFC to the point where I'd cross state lines to meet someone.

He is really hot, dont forget I have seen him on his cam so I know he is who he says he is! I doubt he would have a problem attracting woman unless he is not a particularly nice peson or lacked social skills. He does seem to be a good person in many ways although obviously I wont really get a proper feel for him until we meet face to face. Maybe hes just like me, never found the right person and perhaps a bit fussy. My worst nightmare would be to settle with someone average who I had no chemistry with and just have an average job with an average life, he might have the same ideas.

November 21, 2009

If he had no problem attracting women then he wouldn't be using online dating or traveling across the globe to find a woman. I'll be the first to admit I was an AFC in my younger days, but I was never AFC to the point where I'd cross state lines to meet someone.

I don't think it's the fact that he's using online dating, I think it's the fact that he's going over seas to supposedly 'date'.

November 21, 2009

He is really hot, dont forget I have seen him on his cam so I know he is who he says he is! I doubt he would have a problem attracting woman unless he is not a particularly nice peson or lacked social skills. He does seem to be a good person in many ways although obviously I wont really get a proper feel for him until we meet face to face. Maybe hes just like me, never found the right person and perhaps a bit fussy. My worst nightmare would be to settle with someone average who I had no chemistry with and just have an average job with an average life, he might have the same ideas.

It sounds like you are trying to talk yourself into the idea that you're all he's been looking for. Don't set yourself up for a disappointment.

November 21, 2009

Okay, so he's going away for the army for nine months, why would he want to start a relationship now?

I guess I find it odd that someone wants to get involved with a new person who lives so far away.

LDRs can be quite difficult as it is, like when you have to move far away from your SO, imagine how hard it is to just start to date someone LD.

If it where me, now knowing he's going to be called off for the army for quite some time, I'm willing to bet he's looking for a fun get away before he heads off. But that's just my opinion.

Besides, a guy can like someone and have no intentions of being involved with them long term. You're wanting something to come out of this, you're going into this with the idea that something is going to come out of this, when you don't even know what he's looking for.

OK so we have not discussed what we are looking for per se, however he has mentioned taking me away to meet his friends when he returns from the army, he has also suggested me visiting him before he goes next June. He has talked quite deep to me and started telling me about his family and how he misses having someone to sleep next to. They are not things you discuss with someone you just plan to have a fling with.

Hes 35 too so not a typical early 20s army guy looking for one thing.

He insists on cooking for me as much as possible during his stay, he has also brought a few new suits to wine and dine me in and is always online looking at exciting things for us to visit in London whilst hes here.

Hes making too much effort for this to be a one off, surely?!

November 21, 2009

Promise me one thing..Guard your drink, never take your eyes off of it. If you go to the bathroom, don't drink your drink, ask for water. IF he is a true gentleman and understands that trust has to be built up again since meeting face to face, he won't be offended.

Sorry, it's the protectiveness coming out in me, don't want anything bad to happen to you! Better to be safe than sorry.

November 21, 2009

OK so we have not discussed what we are looking for per se, however he has mentioned taking me away to meet his friends when he returns from the army, he has also suggested me visiting him before he goes next June. He has talked quite deep to me and started telling me about his family and how he misses having someone to sleep next to. They are not things you discuss with someone you just plan to have a fling with.

Hes 35 too so not a typical early 20s army guy looking for one thing.

He insists on cooking for me as much as possible during his stay, he has also brought a few new suits to wine and dine me in and is always online looking at exciting things for us to visit in London whilst hes here.

Hes making too much effort for this to be a one off, surely?!

Sorry, but how can he know he wants all this when he doesn't even know you? These are not things you talk about and make plans with, with someone you haven't even met.

Where is he planning on staying?

November 21, 2009

Okay, so he's going away for the army for nine months, why would he want to start a relationship now?

Oh and (sorry, not wanting to argue ) but the army shouldnt really make much difference - people get married and have children whilst in the military all the time, they just have a job to do after all and there are many jobs that require being away from home for long periods.

He has a fascination with history and wars - I think thats why he chose to be in the army part time, but his main field is the construction stuff anyway and I dont know how many more years he has left commited to the army - it might only be one or two. Will ask him everything when hes here!

November 21, 2009

Promise me one thing..Guard your drink, never take your eyes off of it. If you go to the bathroom, don't drink your drink, ask for water. IF he is a true gentleman and understands that trust has to be built up again since meeting face to face, he won't be offended.

Sorry, it's the protectiveness coming out in me, don't want anything bad to happen to you! Better to be safe than sorry.

Good thinking WWIU, you know sometimes in the past I have been too trusting for my own good only for it to land me in big trouble. I am slowly learning that people have to earn your trust no matter how much you like them or how nice they seem.

November 21, 2009

Oh and (sorry, not wanting to argue ) but the army shouldnt really make much difference - people get married and have children whilst in the military all the time, they just have a job to do after all and there are many jobs that require being away from home for long periods.

He has a fascination with history and wars - I think thats why he chose to be in the army part time, but his main field is the construction stuff anyway and I dont know how many more years he has left commited to the army - it might only be one or two. Will ask him everything when hes here!

But those many people do that while where they are on leave. How do you plan on dating a guy so far away?

You're set on having a relationship with a guy you don't know. And there seems to be a lot you don't know about him. I'm just being realistic.

November 21, 2009

You still haven't answered... where is he staying?

November 21, 2009

He insists on cooking for me as much as possible during his stay, he has also brought a few new suits to wine and dine me in and is always online looking at exciting things for us to visit in London whilst hes here.

Hes making too much effort for this to be a one off, surely?!

Maybe, maybe not. I know I take my holidays pretty seriously, and a little romantic fling is always a fabulous souvenir.

Look, we're not saying it isn't all you're hoping for. But please stop drawing conclusions before you know the truth about the situation. You're honestly not doing yourself any favors by imagining yourself married and having kids with this guy before you even know whether he shares that generic goal.

Yeah, life and love are about risk. And I think it's great you're going to meet. But I fear you've already figured out a way to make what little you know about his future plans & ambitions compatible with yours, when you have no idea what he's really looking for.

You could say he's in his 30s and never married as an indication that he's obviously ready and just hasn't found the right woman, or you could assume he's in his 30s and never married because he doesn't ever want to get married. Unless you ask, you really have no reason to believe one way or the other.

November 21, 2009

Sorry, but how can he know he wants all this when he doesn't even know you? These are not things you talk about and make plans with, with someone you haven't even met.

Where is he planning on staying?

I dunno, maybe it just feels right.

I am having him book himself into a hotel for the first 2 nights, I will meet him for dates and only let him stay at mine when I feel comfortable to do so, and at the end of his stay if all goes well we will head to London together and share a hotel.

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