Lynda Posted December 12, 2003 Posted December 12, 2003 Hi everyone I'm Lynda, My husband is a cheater, an INTERNET cheater. The problem is once he meets someone on line, he actually meets them in person. He has done this for a long time. Why I don't dump him, because it would break our children heart,(they are adults) besides, it has come to that I don't care anymore. He has admitted to a couple of one night stands(actually afternoon). He stops for a while, then he changes, such as when I walk into the room, he changes the window on the computer, and I asked what he was looking at, he gets mad. He has tried to get me into the lifestyle, there is no way I'll agree. I know he loves me, but he wants the excitement of other women. Any suggestions? Lynda
Skittles Posted December 12, 2003 Posted December 12, 2003 I know he loves me He does? Lynda how about you? My suggestion is to first find out why you are accepting his abuse.
Arabess Posted December 12, 2003 Posted December 12, 2003 Originally posted by Lynda My husband is a cheater, an INTERNET cheater. The problem is once he meets someone on line, he actually meets them in person. He has done this for a long time. Any suggestions? Take the computer...put it behind your car.....run over it. Refuse to have another one come into the house. If it does, remove HIM. Your kids are adults....they will understand and get over it. No one deserves to be humiliated Lynda. If the situation is as you say it is....I'd give him little slack!!!
locogurl Posted December 12, 2003 Posted December 12, 2003 I agree with Arabess - get the computer out of the house. Tell him he has to get rid of it or he has to leave. I would bet the computer goes... I won't allow my DH to have his computer at home anymore. It's your home not his playground. They'll find ways to cheat no matter what but you don't have to live with that kind of sneaky crap in your house.
dyermaker Posted December 12, 2003 Posted December 12, 2003 I'd suggest telling your kids about it, so that they understand your reasons for leaving that prick. No human deserves to be treated like you're being treated.
VivianLee Posted December 13, 2003 Posted December 13, 2003 Bless your heart! This has to be horribly painful for you to have dealt with this!! I worry about your health too since he's having one night stands with people he just met. I don't know his heart but his outward appearance shows no signs of loving you or your children...please try and leave, you have legal and scriptural reasons and with a little proof, you can be set up in a very comfortable financial situation PLUS you're heart will heal instead of being broken over and over again... My parent's are in their 50's, if this were my Daddy doing this to my Mama, I'd help her pack HIS things, throw him out with the computer landing close to his family jewels!! Don't stay for kids but especially ones that are adults and have their own lives!! Please leave!! Take care and keep us updated if you wish....
locogurl Posted December 13, 2003 Posted December 13, 2003 I don't think it's wise to get anyone else invovled with infidelity issues, even your own kids, unless you are sure the relationship is over.
Girlie Posted December 14, 2003 Posted December 14, 2003 I understand that your kids might be upset, but you have to think about yourself, too. If you don't want to live with a man who's screwing anything he can meet on the internet, you have a right NOT to live that way. If you were my mother, quite frankly, I'd be more upset that you had to put up with that crap than anything else. It's no way to live. As for your husband loving you, well, I don't want to say that he doesn't. I don't know him. Perhaps he loves you as much as he's capable of loving anyone. But he's not a monogamous fellow and if you're really unhappy with this, you need to think about your life. We only go around this crazy world once. You can start by doing what Arabess said and running the damn computer over, and then go from there.
annareedisgreat Posted September 1, 2004 Posted September 1, 2004 Linda, I am in the same situation. Been together 17 years, married 13 and just had our first baby boy last year by in vitro. He was fine for a while and then the baby was born and two weeks later he tore his tendon in his arm and could only sleep a certain way and then he started sleeping on the couch. When I went back to work two weeks later he started going on the internet and I saw pictures when I would check his computer. He had done this prior and I found out recently that some girl had been calling his mother's house for him and said "I am at the hotel" here is the number. I recently filed for a divorce after he didn't come home all night (when he was staying at his mother's). The next day he was served. He started leaving terrible messages but I called and said I only did it because of what he was doing in. I didn't want a divorce. He started staying out the house for the last three weeks and then I found out he charged a room 36 minutes away the night he didn't come home all night and it was one bed in a small room. Not even fancy.....you know it was just for sex or for meeting he there. Buy why get a room together unless you are intimate. So I am very sad too and no it isn't good for our 1 year old now to be living with this abuse either BECAUSE IF HE IS SPENDING ALL OF HIS TIME ON THE INTERNET HE WILL BE NEGLECTED OUR CHILD AS WELL. SOOOOOOO I NEED TO MOVE ON EMOTIONALLY BECAUSE I HAVE ALREADY FILED LEGALLY AND IT IS GOING TO BE HARD.......BUT LIFE IS SHORT AND WE SHOULDN'T BE MISERABLE BECAUSE THEY ARE JERKS. THEY WILL BE LONELY IN THE FUTURE OR THEY WILL FIND SOMEBODY FINALLY AND SETTLE DOWN BUT IF WE STAY THE DAMAGE WILL LINGER FOR THE REST OF THE MARRIAGE AND IT WILL NEVER BE GOOD.
ladyblunt Posted December 27, 2005 Posted December 27, 2005 My husband not onlly cheats on the computer in our bedroom but, with other females. O n christmas eve one even called him wishing she were here. Cause she was moved in a few days. He has had several affairs in our bed. Yet he does not understand why i do not feel sexy with him. We have been married 24 years christmas eve. He has had sex with several young ladies in our bed. He has a lovve affair with a lady on the internet. He writes her like he does not have a family I have seen a letter love letters they write. How do i handle this
jmargel Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 Hi everyone I'm Lynda, My husband is a cheater, an INTERNET cheater. The problem is once he meets someone on line, he actually meets them in person. He has done this for a long time. Why I don't dump him, because it would break our children heart,(they are adults) besides, it has come to that I don't care anymore. He has admitted to a couple of one night stands(actually afternoon). He stops for a while, then he changes, such as when I walk into the room, he changes the window on the computer, and I asked what he was looking at, he gets mad. He has tried to get me into the lifestyle, there is no way I'll agree. I know he loves me, but he wants the excitement of other women. Any suggestions? Lynda IMO you've based your own self-worth on your husband to the point that you've become numb to the feeling of being cheated on. You expect it and now accept it. As long as you play the victim nothing will change. Words are cheap and with the right situation & words I could pull your heart strings. He knows how to do this. However it is actions that speak louder than words. Pretend for the past year that he was a mute, he can't talk. Everything he said is thrown out the window. Now just look at all the actions he has done. Does that give you a different point of view on things? I hope it does. Never, ever stay in a relationship for the sake of the children. All you are doing is hurting your kids by letting them know it's ok to be treated like this. Guess what, they'll either become victims or cheaters as well. I'd rather see a child from a broken home than an abusive home which they are in now. It doesn't have to be physical either. Cheating is emotional abuse which is just as bad. You should really consider seeing a counselor for yourself to you can get your own life on track. Your husband is a serial cheater and I highly doubt he will change. At least he doesn't love you enough to change for you and this marriage. Stop pushing away all this hurt and take it to make something positive in your life. It's time to move on.
lilmoma1973 Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 Why are you continuing to stay knowing that he is doing this? How long has he done this ? If your kids are grown leave !! Are you kids still in the house ? What do you mean they are grown? Why do you continue to torture yourself ?
JadeStar Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 This was a post made 2 years ago in 2003. I doubt the OP is still around. If so they must have let this post go, because she hasn't replied since. Jade
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