Ilovecake Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 It's been a year and I still have absolutely no desire to date or be in any sort of romantic relationship. Even a guy I've had a crush on for over 10 years asked me out and I said no. I've always loved men and never held the entire sex accountable for the few bad apples that have crossed my path. I'm enjoying being single and don't want the headache of letting a man into my life. I like when guys flirt with me and I've done my share of flirting back but that's as far as I'm willing to take anything these days. If a guy shows serious interest in me I feel really turned off by that and feel complete distrust towards him. I have no idea why I'm being such an old jaded spinster. This has never happened before.
HeavenOrHell Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 4 months down the line for me after being left after 18 years and I can't imagine wanting to be with anyone for a long time, partly as it wont be him and would make me feel lonelier and it would just be weird, and I keep thinking I never want a relationship again anyway cos I don't want to feel like this ever again, I will find it incredibly difficult to believe anything a partner says ever again. It's been a year and I still have absolutely no desire to date or be in any sort of romantic relationship. Even a guy I've had a crush on for over 10 years asked me out and I said no. I've always loved men and never held the entire sex accountable for the few bad apples that have crossed my path. I'm enjoying being single and don't want the headache of letting a man into my life. I like when guys flirt with me and I've done my share of flirting back but that's as far as I'm willing to take anything these days. If a guy shows serious interest in me I feel really turned off by that and feel complete distrust towards him. I have no idea why I'm being such an old jaded spinster. This has never happened before.
carhill Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 When men cease to be a 'headache' and begin to appear human again and worthy of love, that will be the time. Interesting though, that you enjoy their attention. No migraine there.
Author Ilovecake Posted November 20, 2009 Author Posted November 20, 2009 4 months down the line for me after being left after 18 years and I can't imagine wanting to be with anyone for a long time, partly as it wont be him and would make me feel lonelier and it would just be weird, and I keep thinking I never want a relationship again anyway cos I don't want to feel like this ever again, I will find it incredibly difficult to believe anything a partner says ever again. I don't feel that way at all. That's the thing that's weird to me is that it has nothing to do with my previous relationship. I don't even think about my ex anymore. My ex was my ex, just one person in billions, he has nothing to do with the rest of the men in this world. I just feel blah about the whole prospect of going out there and having to put the effort into it. It's like I don't care either way. When guys ask me out my reaction is always suspicious like "Why? What do you want from me?".
Author Ilovecake Posted November 20, 2009 Author Posted November 20, 2009 Interesting though, that you enjoy their attention. No migraine there. It's a nice ego boost but then I get to go home and do my own thing and I don't have to talk to them ever again. I know that's bad and it's being a tease but oh well.
carhill Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 When guys ask me out my reaction is always suspicious like "Why? What do you want from me?". At our age, it should be pretty obvious; sex for men and companionship and attention for women IME, about the only thing women want to 'give' me is their emotional refuse. As my best friend inquires, 'Bitter much?' No, not really, but definitely aware. Divorce is a nice wake-up call. When I begin to see women proactively giving me something other than refuse, I'll know my time has come to enjoin one in a healthy relationship. That will be because my focus has changed. That mirror thing again
Author Ilovecake Posted November 20, 2009 Author Posted November 20, 2009 You're right I probably just haven't met that right person and when that happens I'll be all gung ho about spending time with him. I hope, if not there is always a million cats that need a good home out there.
carhill Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 I hope, if not there is always a million cats that need a good home out there. My cat rubs the computer screen, licks himself and approves this message, then back to what cats do best, sleep.
Nikki Sahagin Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 I feel the same. Its been 7 months for me and I don't feel ready. I have the same view of thinking 'what do you want from me?'. If a guys nice to me...I think he must want something and I don't trust them at all, which is a shame. I don't quite know how to break out of that. Maybe right now I don't need to.
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