Weezy Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 How to propose to an EX So I'm about to break 2+ months of NC. My girlfriend of 3 years wanted to get married, but got sick of me not putting her first in the relationship. Up until 3 weeks before the break, she was had been hinting alot about marriage. So do you guys think I should just by a ring and propose to her, or should I setup a coffee date, and try and take it slow?
sheithappens Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 coffee date first man, has she been seeing someone or no? do coffee first and show her that you are a changed man.... see how it goes, then maybe you can pop the question later on depending on how it went and if you guys are back to talking again.... good luck man, i wish you the best of luck bro
Author Weezy Posted November 20, 2009 Author Posted November 20, 2009 coffee date first man, has she been seeing someone or no? do coffee first and show her that you are a changed man.... see how it goes, then maybe you can pop the question later on depending on how it went and if you guys are back to talking again.... good luck man, i wish you the best of luck bro Dunno if she is seeing anyone. The website that she posts all her pics on still has us at the top. Her profile pics on facebook just show her..
sheithappens Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 ok, then just invite her to coffee, proposing to her after 2 + months might scare away... you dont need to take risks like that yet.... good luck man
Beeotch Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 (edited) As romantic as that may seem...it's not and actually foolish. In general I believe a couple should discuss marriage together and already know they both want to get married then the day the man proposes is the actual surprise. It should be thought out. Therefore, in the context of a break up where you have not spoken for 2 months...this makes no sense. That is insane to me. You have no clue what has happened in the 2 months, maybe it's a guy thing...where men like quick solutions, actually IT IS a man thing. Like my ex, he wants to hurry back into my life, say sorry and then act like everything is now normal. HELLLL NO! It doesn't work like that. You guys had issues which is why u broke up...I am sure it is not only about getting married and even if it were, that is NO WAY to start off a marriage. You should first start talking again, work on the issues that lead to the break up, get back together for a while and strengthen the relationship THEN think about marriage in my humble opinion. Or you can buy a ring for a woman you haven't spoken to in months and have your money wasted and feelings crushes. Or she says yes but nothing is really solved and she leaves you at the altar or shortly after the marriage. Do you even want to get married? Are you even ready or just doing it to get her back? STOP and THINK please. Edited November 20, 2009 by Beeotch
JaggedRoad Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 I thought about doing the same thing 3 months ago. Listen to Beeotch--do not do it!
j_cali_man Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 I agree in spades with Beeotch. One thing to break NC and have a quick lunch or coffee. I think what you're hoping is that she is so overwhelmed (with joy) that the love feelings will come rushing back. Like some movie or something. SHE has to fall in love again. It's not an instant. Just like falling out of love isn't. Most likely, she has laid low and tried to move on by setting the emotions and all of that aside. treat this with kid gloves. coffee, talk, etc. Wait a few months with NR (no ring) and maybe LC and start to court her and then actually date when it's clicking for both. It's a new beginning. Slow the hell down =). Good luck J
Author Weezy Posted November 20, 2009 Author Posted November 20, 2009 As romantic as that may seem...it's not and actually foolish. In general I believe a couple should discuss marriage together and already know they both want to get married then the day the man proposes is the actual surprise. It should be thought out. Therefore, in the context of a break up where you have not spoken for 2 months...this makes no sense. That is insane to me. You have no clue what has happened in the 2 months, maybe it's a guy thing...where men like quick solutions, actually IT IS a man thing. Like my ex, he wants to hurry back into my life, say sorry and then act like everything is now normal. HELLLL NO! It doesn't work like that. You guys had issues which is why u broke up...I am sure it is not only about getting married and even if it were, that is NO WAY to start off a marriage. You should first start talking again, work on the issues that lead to the break up, get back together for a while and strengthen the relationship THEN think about marriage in my humble opinion. Or you can buy a ring for a woman you haven't spoken to in months and have your money wasted and feelings crushes. Or she says yes but nothing is really solved and she leaves you at the altar or shortly after the marriage. Do you even want to get married? Are you even ready or just doing it to get her back? STOP and THINK please. Thanks for your post. There were other issues, as there are in all relationships (No cheating or lying though). But for the most part all her reasons she gave revolved around me, the time I gave her, and how she couldn't waste anymore time in our relationship, how she should be my family, and how I should make her first priority in my life. I have been thinking about it every day for over 2 months. I took the breakup like a book would tell you to. No crying, no begging, told her I understood and agreed I'd love to sit back and just keep doing NC in hopes of getting her back.. But the reality is, I don't think she would ever contact me, I have never given her any indication that I was ready for marriage or putting more effort into it our relationship, and she had been hinting at it for almost a year. Maybe I'm way off base here, but I don't think so. I think a women will only settle for seeing each other a couple nights a week and a weekend or two every month for a certain amount of time. Without knowing the full story, does anyone think I'm making a mistake by breaking NC if I want this girl back?
Ronni_W Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 Without knowing the full story, does anyone think I'm making a mistake by breaking NC if I want this girl back? I think if you want something...go out and try to make it happen! It may not turn out the way you want, but at least you will know that you gave it your best shot -- much better than still wondering about it 5 or 25 years from now, IMO. Question: If nothing else changes (from how the old relationship used to be), would you STILL want to marry her, make a life with her, have kids with her, and be there with her when you're 80?
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