Weezy Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 So I'm about to break 2+ months of NC. My girlfriend of 3 years wanted to get married, but got sick of me not putting her first in the relationship. Up until 3 weeks before the break, she was had been hinting alot about marriage. So do you guys think I should just by a ring and propose to her, or should I setup a coffee date, and try and take it slow?
mark982 Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 i'm all for going slow, what's she been doing the last 2 months? if she wants you back,she'll agree to it.
Cranialrupture Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 Coffee first, make it only about 30 minutes long. Do not talk about the relationship. Just have fun. Do not go in expecting to much. Theres a real chance she may not be interested in you at all. If it goes well you can continue slowly. You smack her with a ring after 2 months NC and your bound to get smacked back. It could be good a good smack but it could more than likely smack you negatively and about as hard as you surprised her. I have a feeling it wouldn't be pretty emotionally. Go slow, keep it short, have fun and judge your progress over time. I would not do the ring thing yet.
Brokenlady Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 So I'm about to break 2+ months of NC. My girlfriend of 3 years wanted to get married, but got sick of me not putting her first in the relationship. Up until 3 weeks before the break, she was had been hinting alot about marriage. So do you guys think I should just by a ring and propose to her, or should I setup a coffee date, and try and take it slow? Who or what were you putting first in the relationship? Until you have sufficient time to show her that "the something" will now take a backseat to her, proposing isn't a good idea. Have you changed your priorities? Go slow. For all you know she may be dating someone else. I get the impression from your post that you are just trying to keep her around before she ends up with someone else but that nothing else has changed.
Author Weezy Posted November 20, 2009 Author Posted November 20, 2009 Who or what were you putting first in the relationship? Until you have sufficient time to show her that "the something" will now take a backseat to her, proposing isn't a good idea. Have you changed your priorities? Go slow. For all you know she may be dating someone else. I get the impression from your post that you are just trying to keep her around before she ends up with someone else but that nothing else has changed. I put my work, friends before her. I own my own business and it can take a lot of time. However we've reached a point where it's more self sufficient and I'm going to be cutting back my hours to make more time for her. Also, I would spend more time with her instead of my friends and obviously living together would give us this time. She could very well be dating someone else. I'd actually be shocked if she's not.
LexiB Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 Whaa? No! If it had been a couple of days or weeks then breaking NC with a proposal might be a cute/romantic idea. But 2 whole MONTHS of not talking and then suddenly there you are with a ring?? No you need to take it slow. In the months that have passed she may have completely reevaluated her feelings for you and realized that you were right all along in not wanting to get married...
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