floods88 Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 i went out tonight and ended up getting a bit drunk and speaking to a friend that is close to both of us. he said that my ex told him he cares and loves me a lot and that he doesnt know what he wants right now except that he just wants to forget everything with drinking. he also said that my ex has been causing trouble with his best friend by always demanding stuff from him and getting violent with him when he is drunk. i dont know what to think. im still moving forward with no contact and im starting to get on with my life. its just hard when i know hes going through a tough time and it makes me feel like all this is so unneccessary. it just makes it thats much harder for me to move on.
USMCHokie Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 it's tough when you learn about how your ex is doing with his/her life...either way, it hurts to know...if they're doing badly, you wish you could be there to help them through the tough time...and on the other hand, if they're happy and doing well, you feel sad that they think they're better off without you...neither is a good feeling... as far as mutual friends, it seems like my ex and i have silently chosen who we'll continue to talk with...i've "claimed" the ones that i'll still talk to and i avoid the ones that she seems to be close with...that way there's no chance that i'll hear about her life...it's funny how that worked out, but so far in the past 2+ months I haven't learned a thing about her life except the little crap she posts on mutual friends facebook statuses and the such.
ADF Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 Your ex may honestly be troubled, or it may be he put his friend up to telling you the things he did as part of a ploy to get your sympathy. Hard to know. What is clear, however, is that even if your ex needs help, you shouldn't be the one to help him. Trying to help an ex may seem like a humane thing to do, but more often it just creates more problems.
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