Flite53 Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 I feel like there's a conflict between this desire to be constantly perfectly dressed/made up and feeling like you should be able to be comfortable from the get-go. Not to say being a dirty mess who doesn't shower is ever a good way to go, but it's hard to spend so long getting ready every time you leave the house! This woman fell in love from meeting a man by chance on a day she happened to be dolled up, which is amazingly lucky, but I wonder if the outfit had as much to do with it as their compatability just clicked? What do you think, and what do you suggest for meeting the one? Does anyone else have a story with a suggestion?
MissJoness Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 (edited) I feel like there's a conflict between this desire to be constantly perfectly dressed/made up and feeling like you should be able to be comfortable from the get-go. Not to say being a dirty mess who doesn't shower is ever a good way to go, but it's hard to spend so long getting ready every time you leave the house! This woman fell in love from meeting a man by chance on a day she happened to be dolled up, which is amazingly lucky, but I wonder if the outfit had as much to do with it as their compatability just clicked? What do you think, and what do you suggest for meeting the one? Does anyone else have a story with a suggestion? Men are much more responsive to women who are somewhat provocatively dressed. They don't really pay any attention to you if you are covered up and dressed conservatively unless they already know you. Its the sad truth I'll go somewhere covered up, feeling quite comfortable and no man strikes up a conversation really. Then I pull out the tight outfit/dress with the hooker boots/heels, and men are smiling from ear to ear, conversating, being nice, etc Its sad that men are programmed this way. They say they want a nice woman, and not one who dresses like a slut, but they always look and walk up to women who look like this. I find dressing up provocatively quite uncomfortable but it seems the only way to get men's attention. Since I am looking for a man, I must always wear something tight and sexy, that is the only way to catch their eye Edited November 19, 2009 by MissJoness
phineas Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 I see woman at work all the time with their boobs popping out of their tops. nice to look at, but I couldn't take a woman who goes to work dressed like that very seriously.
Ms. Joolie Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 What I get from the story is that we should always look good. I mean, I am so guilty of running an errand in my 'whatever' wear... just jeans and a whatever shirt, you know? I think I hold onto too much clothes that I don't really like. I've been thinking of this. It's not ugly clothes, or old. It's just, not stuff I really like anymore or that I just don't like wearing. It's not ME anymore. lol. I'm going to be working on my wardrobe so that I don't have 'whatever' wear anymore, but stuff I really like, really look good in. Because if I look good, feel I look good and all that.... THAT'S what counts! I'll attract the right guy for me that way, just being myself.
Thornton Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 Beauty is pain Some days you want to be comfortable, and that's fine, but on the days you want to look stunningly beautiful you have to suffer just a little bit. Just don't expect to be hit on when you're having a comfy day, or even treated in the same way as when you look prettier. I'm not kidding when I say that on a comfy day, not only do guys not stare at me, but I have a harder time in general because people seem less polite and helpful, and it takes a hell of a lot longer to get served in a bar or restaurant.
GorillaTheater Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 Because if I look good, feel I look good and all that.... THAT'S what counts! I'll attract the right guy for me that way, just being myself. This is it. I work in a professional environment. The women here are generally dressed to the nines. But personally, there are few things more attractive than a woman in jeans and a teeshirt. Maybe because I see THEM and not their clothes.
Ms. Joolie Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 Men are much more responsive to women who are somewhat provocatively dressed. They don't really pay any attention to you if you are covered up and dressed conservatively unless they already know you. Its the sad truth I'll go somewhere covered up, feeling quite comfortable and no man strikes up a conversation really. Then I pull out the tight outfit/dress with the hooker boots/heels, and men are smiling from ear to ear, conversating, being nice, etc Its sad that men are programmed this way. They say they want a nice woman, and not one who dresses like a slut, but they always look and walk up to women who look like this. I find dressing up provocatively quite uncomfortable but it seems the only way to get men's attention. Since I am looking for a man, I must always wear something tight and sexy, that is the only way to catch their eye When I go out, I dress for me, really. I LOVE wearing a well-fitted dress and heels, or a short skirt and boots... stuff that I feel sexy in. I love dolling myself up with makeup and jewelry and handbags.... it's just fun! I definitely notice all the attention I get though, as opposed to when I don't go out of my way. So I don't know that it's about "dressing provocatively".... I think that's looking for the wrong kind of attention.
Els Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 Dunno, but I think if the SOLE reason you're spending all that time, money, effort, and perhaps discomfort dressing up is in hopes of impressing some man, you've a sad life ahead of you. I know lots of women who love dressing up, so they dress up. I truly don't enjoy dressing up, so I don't. I do make sure that I'm dressed appropriately for the venue (professional, etc), and also clean and neat, but I don't do anything above that.
Sam Spade Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 Definitely dress it up. The state of people's dress in the US is SO pathetic, that any half-decent, well fitting outfit from lands end deserves applause. I firmly believe that the erosion of the dress codes is at least partially the reason for skyrocketing incompetence, disappearance of manners, and increased crime rates. :sick::sick:
Sam Spade Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 When I go out, I dress for me, really. I LOVE wearing a well-fitted dress and heels, or a short skirt and boots... stuff that I feel sexy in. I love dolling myself up with makeup and jewelry and handbags.... it's just fun! I definitely notice all the attention I get though, as opposed to when I don't go out of my way. So I don't know that it's about "dressing provocatively".... I think that's looking for the wrong kind of attention. Yep, it's not about being "provocative". It's about dressing like a civilised person, not a barbarian . Every time I see a girl in a baggy t-shirt and flip flops i vividly imagine her burping, picking up her nose on my couch, and having smelly underwear.:eek:
MissJoness Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 Yep, it's not about being "provocative". It's about dressing like a civilised person, not a barbarian . Every time I see a girl in a baggy t-shirt and flip flops i vividly imagine her burping, picking up her nose on my couch, and having smelly underwear.:eek: Why does dressing conservatively to men mean wearing baggy tshirts and flip flops? That is not what dressing conservatively means. It just means wearing clothes don't look like they have been painted on you. Clothes that dont show any cleavage, any hips, ass, or anything. Men don't even look at you in nice conservative clothes. It's really sad.
Sam Spade Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 Why does dressing conservatively to men mean wearing baggy tshirts and flip flops? That is not what dressing conservatively means. It just means wearing clothes don't look like they have been painted on you. Clothes that dont show any cleavage, any hips, ass, or anything. Men don't even look at you in nice conservative clothes. It's really sad. That's not true at all. I love clasically dressed woman. Except for one year I've seen just a handful (literally) of those. Most of the time it is sweatpants or athletic shoes with suits, or other such abominations
caramel c Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 I get dolled up everyday. It's just part of getting ready for me. I work in an office so I wear business attire Mon-Fri. Then after work I will wear jeans, and some kind of top. When the weekend comes I like to go out with my friends & to visit relatives so depending on what's happening I might get a little dressed up. No matter what I'm doing, my hair is done and my makeup is done and I fix it throughout the day. You will very rarely catch me undone...of course I don't have to do this, but on those rare occasions where I don't, I do not feel my best. So, if I can feel great about looking great every day, why not do it? To me it is completely worth the time and effort.
Els Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 Yep, it's not about being "provocative". It's about dressing like a civilised person, not a barbarian . Every time I see a girl in a baggy t-shirt and flip flops i vividly imagine her burping, picking up her nose on my couch, and having smelly underwear.:eek: I'm quite curious how YOU dress when you go out for casual stuff (not including work, special events, dinners, etc, of course). Say, buying groceries. What do you wear? Or do you consider it okay for men to wear flip flops, baggy tees and baggy shorts, whereas women should be wearing fitting dresses and heels just to shop? If that should be the case, then men shouldn't be leaving their houses in anything less than shirts and slacks, no?
caramel c Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 Men are much more responsive to women who are somewhat provocatively dressed. They don't really pay any attention to you if you are covered up and dressed conservatively unless they already know you. Its the sad truth I'll go somewhere covered up, feeling quite comfortable and no man strikes up a conversation really. Then I pull out the tight outfit/dress with the hooker boots/heels, and men are smiling from ear to ear, conversating, being nice, etc Its sad that men are programmed this way. They say they want a nice woman, and not one who dresses like a slut, but they always look and walk up to women who look like this. I find dressing up provocatively quite uncomfortable but it seems the only way to get men's attention. Since I am looking for a man, I must always wear something tight and sexy, that is the only way to catch their eye I have to disagree here. You don't have to show off a lot of skin to get attention. You will get attention dressing provocatively, but that kind of attention is different than the kind of attention I get while dressing more conservatively. The difference lies in whether they take you seriously or not.
phineas Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 Jeans & a blouse look good to me. I like sun dresses on a woman also. I'm turned off by women that spend too much time on their appearance. Mostly because the women who do this don't really need to & maybe that's why it turns me off.
caramel c Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 I see woman at work all the time with their boobs popping out of their tops. nice to look at, but I couldn't take a woman who goes to work dressed like that very seriously. LOL, right on. It's funny I just read this after I posted.
Ms. Joolie Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 Why does dressing conservatively to men mean wearing baggy tshirts and flip flops? That is not what dressing conservatively means. It just means wearing clothes don't look like they have been painted on you. Clothes that dont show any cleavage, any hips, ass, or anything. Men don't even look at you in nice conservative clothes. It's really sad. Men are going to look at cleavage, no question. No point in arguing that. But you shouldn't feel like you have to show cleavage for men to notice you.
Ms. Joolie Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 That's not true at all. I love clasically dressed woman. Except for one year I've seen just a handful (literally) of those. Most of the time it is sweatpants or athletic shoes with suits, or other such abominations I love that description... a "classically dressed woman." A classic balance is where I need my wardrobe at.
Thornton Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 I'm quite curious how YOU dress when you go out for casual stuff (not including work, special events, dinners, etc, of course). Say, buying groceries. What do you wear? Or do you consider it okay for men to wear flip flops, baggy tees and baggy shorts, whereas women should be wearing fitting dresses and heels just to shop? If that should be the case, then men shouldn't be leaving their houses in anything less than shirts and slacks, no? If I was going grocery shopping I'd probably wear tight jeans with a fitted shirt or sweater, sneakers and a jacket. That's what I call "casually dressed" - I don't even own a pair of tracksuit bottoms or a baggy tshirt or shorts, and even if I did I certainly wouldn't wear them in public. The only baggy clothes I own are my pyjamas. Smartly dressed is when I swap the sneakers for leather boots or high heels, and maybe a smarter coat or a skirt/dress. Then there's work attire (the suit) and going-out attire (something that shows a bit more flesh, plus skyscraper high heels). Imo the state of people's clothing in the USA is in freefall, and the UK is following. I see increasing numbers of British women wearing baggy untidy clothes and going out in public with no makeup on. By contrast, my German friends don't even own a pair of jeans, and my French friends wear high heels all the time unless they're at the gym. I sometimes wonder if it's because people are getting fatter so they no longer take pride in their appearance.
Els Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 Well, he quoted the poster mentioning that she wore fitting skirts/dresses and heels/boots, so I'd assume that that was his idea of how women should be dressed all the time, too. I typically don't wear shorts/baggy tees out, either, unless I'm just popping outside my house for a short while. However, it does annoy me when men expect women to be dressed to the nines, whereas they think that it's okay for men to go out in baggy tees, shorts, and slippers, or do the same themselves.
phineas Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 Well, he quoted the poster mentioning that she wore fitting skirts/dresses and heels/boots, so I'd assume that that was his idea of how women should be dressed all the time, too. I typically don't wear shorts/baggy tees out, either, unless I'm just popping outside my house for a short while. However, it does annoy me when men expect women to be dressed to the nines, whereas they think that it's okay for men to go out in baggy tees, shorts, and slippers, or do the same themselves. My tee's became baggy when I dropped 30lbs. Now i'm down a size & hate the baggy look. I also won't wear tight tees either reguardless of how big my shoulders / chest gets. Ok, you got me on shorts. I will wear shorts & sandals as far into fall as I possibly can. (no socks with the sandals either) slipper's. OK, you got me there also. but really when it's 5:30 in the morning & I realize i'm out of milk & the store is at the corner why not? Besides, my plaid pajama's have pockets to hold my money so technically that makes them suitable for out door use.
tigressA Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 Well, I'm in college and a lot of the time it's hard to see past all the sweatpants, hoodies, flip-flops, DISGUSTING Uggs, and sneakers. It's a tragedy, really. I don't dress nicely as much as I used to before I started college; a little laziness has crept in, but I still don't go outside in sweatpants or sneakers. I've adopted a few "trademarks" over the last months. I have a red wool beret, a pair of bright yellow ballet flats, and a fuschia suede jacket. Never wear them all together of course, but just little statement pieces like that will get you noticed, even if the rest of your outfit is just jeans and a T-shirt. I was sitting in one class not too long ago wearing my yellow flats and that was how I met my current boyfriend. Also, vintage clothing is really good if you want to have standout pieces that no one else has. I have several vintage dresses I bought on eBay, nothing too fancy, but they never fail to get me compliments.
Els Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 My tee's became baggy when I dropped 30lbs. Now i'm down a size & hate the baggy look. I also won't wear tight tees either reguardless of how big my shoulders / chest gets. Ok, you got me on shorts. I will wear shorts & sandals as far into fall as I possibly can. (no socks with the sandals either) slipper's. OK, you got me there also. but really when it's 5:30 in the morning & I realize i'm out of milk & the store is at the corner why not? Besides, my plaid pajama's have pockets to hold my money so technically that makes them suitable for out door use. I've nothing against guys wearing that. My own bf wears tees and shorts out sometimes - but he has nothing against me wearing whatever I darn well want, either. It's just the guys who wear that, and expect women to dress much better than that, who annoy me.
tigressA Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 I've nothing against guys wearing that. My own bf wears tees and shorts out sometimes - but he has nothing against me wearing whatever I darn well want, either. It's just the guys who wear that, and expect women to dress much better than that, who annoy me. I second that!
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