Confused728 Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 He said he respected the decision i made(Prob about NC) saying That i think it might be easy for him but its not and that he has alot of regrets for letting what happend happen, Is this him trying to reach out to see if im still into him, is this a second chance... what do i do?
2sunny Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 He said he respected the decision i made(Prob about NC) saying That i think it might be easy for him but its not and that he has alot of regrets for letting what happend happen, Is this him trying to reach out to see if im still into him, is this a second chance... what do i do? he never stated that he would like things to change or be different to start again? did he state he would give up the drugs to be with you? if he didn't SPECIFICALLY state those important things to have a healthy chance at trying again, then NOTHING has changed at all... is that what you want? same as before? to me, it sounds like empty words - maybe a bit of regret on his part - but that's par for the course when dealing with a druggie. his action and changes is what will tell you the most. if nothing has changed - then there's really nothing to discuss - he just wants you to accept the crap that he's willing to dish out again... and this time he would expect you to be quiet about it. is that what you want?
Author Confused728 Posted November 19, 2009 Author Posted November 19, 2009 to me, it sounds like empty words - maybe a bit of regret on his part - but that's par for the course when dealing with a druggie. QUOTE] Sunny what does this mean? is this something they do can you explain that further??? Did he just want time away to run off and do drugs and now wants to come back?
2sunny Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 he never stated that he's clean - that he's sober. THAT is what would make all the difference in the world for your situation. he never stated what he's doing to make life different than it was before. so, you should only expect that life looks the same for him as it did when you were dating. in fact, he never said he wanted you back either. he just wants to feel badly without admitting to any wrongdoings... he wants to show you that life is same as always. there's nothing to respond to at this point. his words indicate no change in his life.
Author Confused728 Posted November 19, 2009 Author Posted November 19, 2009 why do you think he emailed me? what was his intention? did he email me thinking that i proubly would run back easy and just put everthing back the way it was with no changes?
Author Confused728 Posted November 22, 2009 Author Posted November 22, 2009 i just dont know what to do, i kinda miss him, but i dont know what his intent was with that email..he has regrets but what is that supposed to mean?
Author Confused728 Posted November 22, 2009 Author Posted November 22, 2009 why do you think he sent that email, do you think he was just trying to relive his own conscience...or has a genuine intrest in getting back together with me..???????
HeavenOrHell Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 I think you need to email him and ask what did he mean by saying he has regrets. i just dont know what to do, i kinda miss him, but i dont know what his intent was with that email..he has regrets but what is that supposed to mean?
hopesndreams Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 why do you think he sent that email, do you think he was just trying to relive his own conscience...or has a genuine intrest in getting back together with me..??????? Not the latter, sorry. He's just throwing a few words your way, nothing more, to ease his guilt and for you to resume communications with him so that he could feel better. Don't fall for it.
Author Confused728 Posted November 23, 2009 Author Posted November 23, 2009 i dont know what to do i miss him what if he is trying to reach out and reconcile with me, its the first time he told me or admited to having alot of regrets about what he let happen
fofiffs Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 i dont know what to do i miss him what if he is trying to reach out and reconcile with me, its the first time he told me or admited to having alot of regrets about what he let happen Well if you could handle what he has to say weather its good or bad then by all means go contact him. I'm a big believer of NC but I wasn't all like that from the beginning of my break up. But when I found out that I was just being used as a doormat thats when I truely believed in NC. I don't even know how many months since I last talked to the EX. So what I'm trying to say is if you contact him and you don't get what you want to hear maybe that'll put a whole new perspective of why sometimes we just don't contact them. It did the job for me and i'm still here 9 months later moving on with my life. So whatever you decide to do, I wish you luck and I hope all goes well for you.
Author Confused728 Posted November 25, 2009 Author Posted November 25, 2009 i still havent contacted him not sure what to do im kind of missing him today.. wonder if he wnats me back
Beeotch Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 He said he respected the decision i made(Prob about NC) saying That i think it might be easy for him but its not and that he has alot of regrets for letting what happend happen, Is this him trying to reach out to see if im still into him, is this a second chance... what do i do? No. A second chance should be clear, saying they want to try again.
Author Confused728 Posted November 25, 2009 Author Posted November 25, 2009 what if he just testing the waters to see if i would answer him. he never admited to any mistakes or wrong doings about the whole situation until this email...now he seems like he is taking respoinsbiltiy by saing he regrets what he let "happened happen". In three months thats the first time he seemed to show he had any regret or take responsibly before he tired throwing everything on me, i wonder why the change of heart now? what do you think?
Author Confused728 Posted November 26, 2009 Author Posted November 26, 2009 "I understand and respect the decision you made you might think its been easy for me but it's not I have alot of regret for letting what happened happen" thats what he said.. i dont see why else he would say it or send an email what is his goal hi must have some intension?
fofiffs Posted November 26, 2009 Posted November 26, 2009 Well I guess your best bet is to find out what he really meant by that. If it'll help you stop wondering about the "what ifs"..
Author Confused728 Posted November 26, 2009 Author Posted November 26, 2009 i am thinking he might text me and say happy thanksgiving. if he does this what do you think i should do?
fofiffs Posted November 26, 2009 Posted November 26, 2009 Well honestly your going to get different advices but at the end of the day its going to be really up to you on what you decide to do. Do what you think is in your best interest. If my ex was to text me I would probably ignore it which I have been doing the past 5 months but thats just me though. I do that because I have no intentions of getting back together with her or being a "friend". If you think that the relationship is still salvagable then by all means contact him. If he does wish you a happy thanksgiving then wish him back likewise.
Author Confused728 Posted November 26, 2009 Author Posted November 26, 2009 i dont know what to do about this in general... i dont want to break NC to ask him what the email was about not because i think i will have a hard time, i feel fine at this point, but i dont really wanna give into him, even if he wants me back what does he think im just gonna go flying back id look like a sucka.. i just dont know why he would send that email anyone have any ideas??
2sunny Posted November 26, 2009 Posted November 26, 2009 my idea? STOP THINKING SO MUCH!!!! go live a little, get out there and stay busy enough so that you don't care one bit what he is or isn't thinking or doing! seriously! you deserve to live and be happy! now get going!
Author Confused728 Posted November 26, 2009 Author Posted November 26, 2009 i try but i always think of it no matter what im doing, belive me i hate it myself...but i dont know how to stop thinking about it... it drives me crazy even when i go out i see other guys and i am like not interstead..just sucks but i cant help but wonder what the email ment..oh well whatever
Author Confused728 Posted November 26, 2009 Author Posted November 26, 2009 well he just text me happy thanksgiving... i didnt answer not sure what to do
2sunny Posted November 26, 2009 Posted November 26, 2009 well he just text me happy thanksgiving... i didnt answer not sure what to do well - minimal effort for him to take your emotional temperature. it's an easy way for him to check and see if you're still mad at him or if you are willing to overlook his shortcomings and play in the sandbox by HIS rules... which include overlooking his odd behavior and probable drug use. he's been waiting this long so that you will abide by his guidelines. are you willing to play his game - by his rules? if you are - then respond to him... if not, then don't.
Author Confused728 Posted November 26, 2009 Author Posted November 26, 2009 i guess your right.. was thinking mabey he was being nice or who knows what but thinking that if i did answer he might precive it as everthign being ok and become complacent wiht the situation.. i wanna continue to make him feel like he lost something and keep making him feel the regrets... if i answer it might kill the whole thing...
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