bayouboi Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 So I broke up with my gf b/c she wasn't fulfilling my needs. She wanted to remain friends & I refused at first, then changed my mind thinking that I could handle it. Since then, we've had no physical interaction & only a few phone convos, but we've texted maybe once a week with a few brief exchanges. One thing I've noticed, though, is that it's always me initiating the texting & her replies seem to mirror the format of my texts to her. For example, if I start off saying "hey..." then she starts off saying "hey...", if I use a particular smiley then she'll end up using the same smiley, she uses the same words I use and in similar contexts. Does anyone have any idea if this means anything?
Tayla Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 according to my crystal ball it means you both know how to text and use emoticons. Next question?
Ronni_W Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 bayouboi, I think it means what you suspect it means. She's just messing with your head. You're just letting her mess with your head. Maybe she did want to be friends back then. But she's not acting like a friend now, is she? So, maybe she changed her mind...or maybe that was just something to say, back then. Take back your power, and "just say NO!" Friendships are meant to be mutual, and respectful, and supportive, and encouraging, and uplifting. Hugs. Sorry you're gonna go through it...again. Don't allow it to happen to you a third time. Right?
Edward10 Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 Like a gambler heading back to the table to recover his losses..... You always initiate the texts Us women respond to ex-boyfriends emails like that when we're sleeping with a new guy. We can't give you more detail because we feel a little guilty about how much we are enjoying the new guy. Got it? Sorry, but it is true.
Tayla Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 Ronnie, 99.9% of the time I have regarded your view point. This is the .1% that I disagree. How can you possibly get all that from the vagueness of this persons post? So what if two folks text in the same manner, its not SO DEEP that it has to be analyzed. Its called using the same style, which many folks do. Its called the cultural language. And my crystal ball says so,so it has to be true
Ronni_W Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 Tayla...it's that my own ball is made of crappy crystal...and wouldn't you know, the warranty expired midnight yesterday? But I'm on it now that I'm aware of the prob! bayouboi, it really could just be that "you both know how to text and use emoticons." But at this point...I'd better just suggest to go with your own gut sense of the situation. What do YOU think it means?
Author bayouboi Posted November 19, 2009 Author Posted November 19, 2009 I think you're right, Ronnie_W. I mean the whole reason I broke up with her was because I felt like she wasn't as into me as I thought someone who loved you should be so that gut feeling goes with what you're saying that "she's not acting like a friend now" and that it was probably just something to say. Thanks for the hugs, the whole thing just sucks...I want so bad for her to want me back & tell me she'll try at the relationship as much as I was trying, but I need to face facts so I can move on. Thanks for everyone's input.
Tayla Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 Ronnie, dern those cheap crystal balls! Try a Ronco Crystal ball, they come with Two sets of swifter sweepers to clean up the crystalls All for 9.99 if you call in the next ten minutes . I will say this, it is the posters perception that deserved validating so thank you for reminding me of that, sometimes I am short sighted....but I got an order in for long sighted glasses too:)
Beeotch Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 So I broke up with my gf b/c she wasn't fulfilling my needs. She wanted to remain friends & I refused at first, then changed my mind thinking that I could handle it. Since then, we've had no physical interaction & only a few phone convos, but we've texted maybe once a week with a few brief exchanges. One thing I've noticed, though, is that it's always me initiating the texting & her replies seem to mirror the format of my texts to her. For example, if I start off saying "hey..." then she starts off saying "hey...", if I use a particular smiley then she'll end up using the same smiley, she uses the same words I use and in similar contexts. Does anyone have any idea if this means anything? Sounds like she might be reading those "how to get your ex back" guides...and one of the MORE dumb ones at that. I remember reading one once and it gave advice to mirror the person...and I was like WTF this makes noooo sense! But apparently ur ex read it too and thought it was genius now she's following it....
Author bayouboi Posted November 20, 2009 Author Posted November 20, 2009 Sounds like she might be reading those "how to get your ex back" guides...and one of the MORE dumb ones at that. I remember reading one once and it gave advice to mirror the person...and I was like WTF this makes noooo sense! But apparently ur ex read it too and thought it was genius now she's following it.... I wish you were right. I wish she did want us to get back together...the problem is I can't reach out more than halfway to her because I would need her to change a few things for it to work out for me. I called her a couple weeks ago to basically ask her how she felt about where we were at the time whether or not she thought the breakup was right or wrong & she basically said sometimes it felt right & sometimes it felt wrong. Then I also asked her if she had said everything she wanted to say before we moved on (not in those words but I was basically asking her if there was any chance at reconciling) & she started crying & had to get off the phone. But I think the telltale sign for me is that she's never contacted me first, so I have to move on.
Ronni_W Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 ...I would need her to change a few things for it to work out for me. ...to basically ask her how she felt about where we were at the time whether or not she thought the breakup was right or wrong ... I also asked her if she had said everything she wanted to say before we moved on It sounds as if you gave her every opportunity to express if she is open to even thinking about thinking about reconciling with you...and she did not even hint that she might be. (Without any words that match, tears can just be a highly manipulative tactic.) Also, though. Am I misinterpreting, or do you ALREADY know that any reconciliation attempt will NOT work out well in the long run? Hugs, I know it is difficult but I do agree with you: it is time to heal and move forward. sometimes I am short sighted....but I got an order in for long sighted glasses too May I suggest the high-quality crystal lenses? Wonder if we'd get a better deal at Ronco if we place a combined order?
Author bayouboi Posted November 20, 2009 Author Posted November 20, 2009 Also, though. Am I misinterpreting, or do you ALREADY know that any reconciliation attempt will NOT work out well in the long run? I'm not sure what you are asking me. Guessing at what you're asking me, though, I would respond that there wasn't any major issue made me decide to break things off with her other than that it felt like I was the only one putting effort into the relationship and that got exhausting. So if she were to tell me that she wanted to try to contribute more to us instead of me doing everything, I'd be down for it in a heartbeat. I don't think that's a likely reality, however, because she's very independent minded almost to the point of "I don't need a man, I will just want one" kind of mindset.
Ronni_W Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 I'm not sure what you are asking me. Sorry that I was unclear, boi. In your earlier post, you said, "I would need her to change a few things for it to work out for me" -- and you've reiterated that again in your most recent. But I didn't see where she's said that she is willing to work towards making any changes that would be necessary for YOU to feel less exhausted and taken for granted. And her lack of willingness means that, even if she agrees to a reconciliation, it STILL won't work to help you feel supported, uplifted and appreciated. Not sure if that makes it any clearer(?) Basically, it's a dead-end. You're fretting about getting back into a relationship that was/will be exhausting for you; where your efforts are not recognized/appreciated but expected and taken for granted...without a care about whether you exhaust and deplete yourself.
Author bayouboi Posted November 20, 2009 Author Posted November 20, 2009 Sorry that I was unclear, boi. In your earlier post, you said, "I would need her to change a few things for it to work out for me" -- and you've reiterated that again in your most recent. But I didn't see where she's said that she is willing to work towards making any changes that would be necessary for YOU to feel less exhausted and taken for granted. And her lack of willingness means that, even if she agrees to a reconciliation, it STILL won't work to help you feel supported, uplifted and appreciated. Not sure if that makes it any clearer(?) Basically, it's a dead-end. You're fretting about getting back into a relationship that was/will be exhausting for you; where your efforts are not recognized/appreciated but expected and taken for granted...without a care about whether you exhaust and deplete yourself. You're right, Ronni_W, thank you for your help
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