depressedy Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 Well, I'm 24 years old girl, me and my BF, we have been in this relation for 3~4 years, it was good, we were very understanding, and there was so much love. He had some drops in his life, I helped him to get over them, and to stand on his feet again, I could have left, but instead I was taking care of him, and once he stood tall he proposed to me but we're in some strict country, he has to ask my dad for my hand after the approval of his family, so he has every thing prepared, took the approval of his family and told me about the date he would be coming over to my dad (it was 2 weeks away) and I was just waiting for the biggest event of my life. Then that night out of the blue, he told me he wanted some space and time to think things over, I wasn't in the mood for the moment and I started a fight with him about that (and that was the last time we had ever talked), then started confessing things in mails about him cheated long time ago (which i didn't believe was EXACTLY true and he sure have another story hidden somewhere, and I was willing to forgive him). Then after one week I send him an email trying to get things right between us, his respond was so rude and he didn't give me any chances to talk (even if the ball is in his court). Then two weeks later I found him sending me another EMAIL telling me that he didnt want us to be together anymore, and he thought that would be for the best. When I asked him for the reasons he didn't respond. and nothing more from him. Then his sister (who happened to be a friend of mine) told me that he thought that it would be better for his future to be single. I really hate him for that, I can't believe I've layed my trust on this one. and I cant believe that there are such jerks! (I have trust issues, and I took a very long time to trust him) Ever since the break up (2 weeks ago, 5 weeks since the last time we talked)I've been acting cool, trying to put my head into some other things and he barely crossed my mind. I know that feeling sad is healthy, but I'm afraid if i leave myself to that feeling I might end up desperate or even think about him, seriously, I hate to think about him. What do you think is best for me, and when do you think would be the best time to start dating again?
Arabella Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 The best time to start dating again? Not now! You just got out of a relationship that was headed for marriage. Give yourself time. Focus on healing for the time being. Fill the hole he has left in your life with things you enjoy, reconnect with your friends, etc. When the right time comes to date again, you will know because thinking about him will no longer fill you with sadness. Until then, you're on the rebound and any relationship you become involved in has very little chance of survival. Arabella
nobleguy Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 Only you will know when it's OK to start dating, but I would assum if you want to do it with any seriousness then it won't be for a while. There's nothing wrong with getting out there and meeting people but just be aware that you will find any date/meet completely unsatisfactory because you are just not in a state of mind to give anything. I've been seeing a lady for about two months (started about 6 weeks after splitting for the final time) and I've probably only seen her 4 or 5 times in that time. She is company, she knows I'm hurting and is OK with the fact that I can't give a lot to her emotionally for the time being. 3 1/2 months have gone by and I'm still an emotional wreck.
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