4givrnt4gtr Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 so last night my guy friend and I went out at midnight to watch a meteor shower. Now, I was nervous, as he and I had a close encouter last year, but succesfully have surpassed it....kind of. Once in a while I still get the "he likes me" kind of feeling. In any case, we were discussing our exes as he is also going through a break up. He finally came to the conclusion that its really over and he is done with her. Then we started talking about my ex, and somehow i ended up defending him. All hell broke lose. basically my friend gave me a swift kick in the pants about how my ex CHOSE to leave and if he truly wanted to be with me he would be. How its not fair for me to put my life on hold when obviously my ex isnt and how i need to let him go for good, which includes deleting him from facebook and any and all other connections we have. now i was reluctant given that I had done that already and it didnt work. All it did is made me obsessed even more since i had no idea what was going on. But then it hit me...does he care what Im doing? probably not...then why do i care about what he is doing? So in any case I ended up coming home and writing my ex a message before I deleted him. "Hey! So, I had an interesting conversation with a friend tonigth. Among other things you came up. Or rather how Im not over you and how I wish things had been different and things had worked out better. In any case, my friend pointed out a few things that made me realize I really do need to let you go for good, you are moving on and living your life. I need to start doing that too, without holding on to some delusional hope that eventually things get more clear for you and we can work things out. I realize thats never going to happen, and I just keep getting more and more confused with things I see in your facebook and stuff. So, bassically that was a round about way of telling you I need to defriend you for a while so I can start moving on with my life. I miss you like you have no idea, to the point of actually being mad at you for asking me out to begin with. But I know thats silly, and I know better than to regret something that made me very happy at one point. In any case, I hope the rest of you life goes just as you planned. I really did/do love you and I hope you find someone who loves you just as much or more than I did. Take care angel. we ended on a good note and so i wanted to finalize everything the same way. But now Im nervous about what his response, if any would be. Do you think that message was a bit much??? ekkk All i know is that although i often wonder about my friend's intentions I do believe he is right when he says that i need to go on with my life, because i deserve better...I know this...for a while. I just needed to make it happen. though now im not sure i did the best way.
stace79 Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 I think the email was a bit much, because now you are expecting a response and you probably will not get one. If you do get one, it will likely not be the response you want. I'd have just deleted him, period. But hopefully you will now delete him and honestly start moving on. Regardless of your friend's intentions, I think he was right. GOod luck!
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted November 19, 2009 Author Posted November 19, 2009 Well, actually I realize that I rather him tell me that he wants nothing to do with me ever again and so he agrees that I should move on rather than him telling me he's still confused or that he doesnt want me to go....cuz then Ill always wonder if he said that because felt pressured and didnt actually mean it. The reason why I need him to tell me to move on is cuz I need to hear it from him so I KNOW I was right to begin with. I have a hard time trusting myself. Now, silence is a loud scream, and I will take his silence as agreement that I should move on, so either of those two work for me. I guess i just need the last nail in that coffin....we'll see
NopeNah Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 Well, actually I realize that I rather him tell me that he wants nothing to do with me ever again and so he agrees that I should move on rather than him telling me he's still confused or that he doesnt want me to go....cuz then Ill always wonder if he said that because felt pressured and didnt actually mean it. The reason why I need him to tell me to move on is cuz I need to hear it from him so I KNOW I was right to begin with. I have a hard time trusting myself. Now, silence is a loud scream, and I will take his silence as agreement that I should move on, so either of those two work for me. I guess i just need the last nail in that coffin....we'll see you should take him leaving/not wanting to be with you as the last nail. You're doing exactly what Stace said.
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted November 20, 2009 Author Posted November 20, 2009 you should take him leaving/not wanting to be with you as the last nail. You're doing exactly what Stace said. Well i broke up with him. He just kept saying he was confused, that he wanted to be with me but the distance was too difficult. Though yes, and thats what my friend pointed out, when you love someone come hell or high water you'll be with them.
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