Tired1003 Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 This may need to be in a health forum, but here goes... I have severe PMS and it impacts my marriage. I'd rather not be medicated for it, but I get just plain unhappy during this time. I am so mentally critical of my husband during this time...I say mentally because I try to stay aware of the fact that my unhappiness and sharp judgement is PMS, not reality. With that being said, those things that I find such fault with during the PMS time are things that do bother me the rest of the month, just not so bad that they bring me down. The rest of the month, I'll notice the behavior or action, but can just let it go. I love my husband very much and I so realize how imperfect I am. The rest of the month, I'm able to balance the good with the bad and the good always out-weighs the bad. During PMS, however, it's the exact opposite. And let me point out that I do not lash out at him, or criticize. I just become withdrawn and he notices. The problem is that I could imagine myself making life-altering decisions during this PMS time only to "wake up" a week or so later wondering....WTH? My question for women is this: Is this normal? How do you deal with PMS and the negativity that accompanies it? My question for men is this: What's the impact on your marriage from this affliction?
angie2443 Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 I know exactly what you are talking about. You are not alone. What you are going through is normal for many women, however, normal does not equal healthy. PMS is hormone related. I would go to an endocronologist and discuss your situation with them. Hormones cant help. I never had is that bad, but there are a couple of days out of the month in which my mood is so evil that I just tell my husband to give me space. He understands. The thing is, I've been pregnant and/or nursing for most of the last 6 years. My mood has been very level, no ups or downs, because I've rarely had a period. I'm not looking forward to the day when I stop nursing.
Toodamnpragmatic Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 my spouse is the same, and yes it can be rough. I joke that I forgot to check the calendar. Not fair to all parties.... Is there an answer???? Probably not. Patience and understanding is the best you can hope for....
JackJack Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 Have you mentioned this to your doctor? If so, what do they recommend? My wife used to suffer pretty bad from this. So did her mother and sister, so I guess genetics can play a role. Her doctor told her to increase her Magnesuem intake, Zinc and Vitamin B's. He told her sometimes women can lack or be low in certain foods or vitamins that can cause PMS. She would only get that way around that time of the month as well, all other times she was fine. Since she started taking those vitamins, and she does yoga too, she feels alot better and its nothing like it was. Maybe check into some of that, it would be worth it for your sanity and your husbands.
angie2443 Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 Have you mentioned this to your doctor? If so, what do they recommend? My wife used to suffer pretty bad from this. So did her mother and sister, so I guess genetics can play a role. Her doctor told her to increase her Magnesuem intake, Zinc and Vitamin B's. He told her sometimes women can lack or be low in certain foods or vitamins that can cause PMS. She would only get that way around that time of the month as well, all other times she was fine. Since she started taking those vitamins, and she does yoga too, she feels alot better and its nothing like it was. Maybe check into some of that, it would be worth it for your sanity and your husbands. The vitamins will work if you have a deficiancy or borderline deciciancy. It is certainly worth a shot. As far as yoga, it never helped me feel better with anything, but it's good for stretching at least and may work for others. Again, it's worth a shot. Otherwise, go see an endo. You can fix this problem. Good luck.
JackJack Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 The vitamins will work if you have a deficiancy or borderline deciciancy. It is certainly worth a shot. As far as yoga, it never helped me feel better with anything, but it's good for stretching at least and may work for others. Again, it's worth a shot. Otherwise, go see an endo. You can fix this problem. Good luck. Yeah. She was defeciant. I think they did a test or something if I remember right, anyway, I think it showed she was low/lacking in those. Yoga helped her alot too, she said it helped to keep her centered and balanced. I do think if a woman has tried the things a doc has suggested and nothing works then yes its time to see what else might be causing the problem.
hopeful1980 Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 I don't know if I have PMS. I mean, I've never met a woman who wasn't a little more on edge and short with her husband during that time of the month. When I feel that way, I've learned that if I focus on my own self-care it helps me to get through it. At the times I feel my most irritated are the times when I need to take care of myself the most. By that I mean, take a hot shower or read a book - just something I can do for me that doesn't include anyone else.
Author Tired1003 Posted November 18, 2009 Author Posted November 18, 2009 Thanks for the replies. A doc put me on Prozac (sp?) for it a couple years ago. Made me sick as a dog. So I'm reluctant to try other meds. I just want to know if I'm crazy or not.... Most days I look forward to going home to him. During THAT time, I don't. And that's the least of it. But you're all right. I need to go see my doctor. Thanks again!
blair08 Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 Luckily, I've never really had PMS that bad. Now, I had a good friend who did and according to her it was just a nightmare! I think there are lots of factors that can play into why some people might suffer worse than others. Diet, exercise, genetics, thyroid issues, depression, etc etc. There are more exteme cases too such as PMDD (Pre Menstrual Disphoric Disorder) which is worse than just PMS. I would have a talk with your ob/gyn and see what they can tell you or any suggestions they might have. Google symptoms of PMS or PMDD and it might better tell you about what causes it and what you could try too.
TenaciousWoman Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 (edited) I never really expereinced PMS in my younger years -was always as stable then as any other time, BUT am wondering now about it. About a year ago, something happened to me to raise my sex drive dramatically (Still trying to figure that out-testosterone maybe), some hormone was out of whack cause I was getting a period mid cycle, OBGYN gave me some drug to stop it for 6 days & that fixed it -for good, now my cycles are every 28 days , completely normal for over a year now. I told her that WOW , I am ALWAYS in the mood (I used to be more of a cold fish) , she just said "enjoy it" and that was it. But in sharing all of this, for ME , I have noticed (the husband noticed 1st!) that during my period, I am MORE emotional, MORE tearful, MORE Critical than other times of the month-which I never was before. So I guess this is PMS. I know I give him more Grief during this time & would also like to "Control" this to lesson his pain. Would love to hear what works for others. Edited November 22, 2009 by TenaciousWoman word
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