McGrupp Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 im having strong feelings of showing up to my ex's place unnannounced. we haven seen each other for 2 months, the break 2.5 months. talked 14 days ago. anyway i know its a horrible idea i need some stories of people showing up at their ex's unnaounced to be broken yet again
northstar1 Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 im having strong feelings of showing up to my ex's place unnannounced. we haven seen each other for 2 months, the break 2.5 months. talked 14 days ago. anyway i know its a horrible idea i need some stories of people showing up at their ex's unnaounced to be broken yet again There have been some stories on here of people who show up and it rarely goes well. At best, they are greeted like an aquaintance which makes them feel bad, at worst, they find their ex with their new interest, which makes them feel terrible.
Ms. Joolie Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 I had an ex visit my home one time, only I wasn't there. My dad answered the door and told me about it. (I was about 18) I thought it was such a sweet, romantic thing to do. Really, even now, it shows me how much he cared for me. He must have come by because he didn't have my new number, and I didn't remember his. He never stopped by again. Years later, I bumped into him at the store. He lives back home in San Antonio, and I was only visiting, so it wasn't like anything could happen. We exchanged numbers but shortly after I again had a new #, and I again couldn't remember his. lol. I found him on MySpace last year, and he is on my page. We exchanged a few emails but that's about it. I never asked him about coming by, but it was him because he told my dad his name. Maybe if we lived in the same city we would have gone out again, but at this point it's just been too long (10 years or so) since our relationship and there are no feelings left of course, or a desire to go back. lol. There are only crazy memories of a teenage romance.
sean1970 Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 im having strong feelings of showing up to my ex's place unnannounced. we haven seen each other for 2 months, the break 2.5 months. talked 14 days ago. anyway i know its a horrible idea i need some stories of people showing up at their ex's unnaounced to be broken yet again She visited here (she is 4 hours away) on business. We hung out a few times, she showed up at my door at 1:30am (I did not hear the bell). The last day she was here, I brought up the relationship. She shut down immediately. I looked like an ass... She starts to call regularly after... "Just called cause I was thinking about you... Like I always do". More calls just like that throughout the week... She finally asked if we could start talking regularly. I told her if there was a possibility that we could work on the relationship, ok, if not, no. Again, nothing from her.... Still wonder if I would have taken it slow that things might have been different... Three weeks later, after 3 rather large beers, I text her a joke only she would get... We txt, send pics, than I ask her if she was still in love with me... Yep, she slammed the door on that too... The next 15 text I sent were unanswered... Got in the car, on a Sunday, and made the fantastically stupid drive there... Get there when she is getting up for work. It was not that bad initially; she called off work without me saying a word about it, I was massaging her, we were going to play a game she had just gotten... Then she asks what my expectations are... You know what I said... She flipped out, said I could stay for a bit and sleep, she went to work. Longest drive home I have ever had. Never felt so dejected in all my life... She called when I got home and was angry. I could not understand why she was so mad (still dont). She showed up at my place unannounced. She made advances when she was here. I told her, "Look, Im sorry I showed up, Im sorry I made you late for work, but why are you so angry?" She mentioned work and that I started the trek buzzed. "I went to see you! That is why I did it, ok" nothing worked... I finally said, "Maybe in a year, shoot me a text that you actually did like me and dont believe I am the monster you do now..." A week later, I get this, "Just wanted you to know, I did like you, and will again Im sure. Im just angry now and need to let that run its course. Im sorry." I never responded. Still angry about that? After a week? It's not easy witting this. I made a complete ass out of myself. It is hard for me to imagine that she had any respect for me after that and I know I did not for myself. If you do go, you are going from the worst possible position; a position of need and desperation. You may be able to hide it for a while but she will see it. I regret more what I have done after the breakup than I do when I was in the relationship.
Ultiman Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 Im thinking of doing the same thing. Waiting for her about 20 min before she gets out of work and catching her by surprise in the parking lot. I convince myself to do it, then i convince myself not to. I was just thinking of walking up to her and giving her to nicest sweetest kiss i have ever given anyone and see how she reacts to it
Author McGrupp Posted November 18, 2009 Author Posted November 18, 2009 i just want to apologize to her for being such an *******. really thats it. seems pointless though
stillafool Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 I can tell you that in my past I have had 2 ex's (guys) do that to me and I hated it. If I say I don't want to see you that is what I mean. When someone goes against my wishes and shows up to my place of employment (WTF, I say) that really pissed me off. Then the other one waited outside my house for me to get home and that pissed me off as well. I think you should leave them alone if they don't want to talk to you. You just look stupid and it never makes a difference.
Author McGrupp Posted November 18, 2009 Author Posted November 18, 2009 thats some good stuff stillafool, my ex never said she didnt want to see me, but im going to assume she doesnt want to ...
sean1970 Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 I can tell you that in my past I have had 2 ex's (guys) do that to me and I hated it. If I say I don't want to see you that is what I mean. When someone goes against my wishes and shows up to my place of employment (WTF, I say) that really pissed me off. Then the other one waited outside my house for me to get home and that pissed me off as well. I think you should leave them alone if they don't want to talk to you. You just look stupid and it never makes a difference. For the record on mine; she did want to talk, did want to hang out, never told me not to contact her.
Ms. Joolie Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 i just want to apologize to her for being such an *******. really thats it. seems pointless though Then do it. Be a man, and take care of your business. Don't be afraid of her reaction to you. The worst she can do is reject you. And you are already assuming that. I'm all for open communication. So just be honest, call to apologize and that's it. And then? Well, let me go back. I'd suggest you call her and tell what a hard time you've had in letting go of her, and you realize all the dumb things you did. Then apologize. At best, her reaction will be, "Aw, that's sweet." And that's it. I mean, you can't really hit her up for a date after that. So, yeah, there you go. lol
Author McGrupp Posted November 18, 2009 Author Posted November 18, 2009 (edited) best case: she falls deeply back in love worst case: restraining order ill probably just stick to NC. it is a nice fantasy though Edited November 18, 2009 by McGrupp
nobleguy Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 (edited) im having strong feelings of showing up to my ex's place unnannounced. we haven seen each other for 2 months, the break 2.5 months. talked 14 days ago. anyway i know its a horrible idea i need some stories of people showing up at their ex's unnaounced to be broken yet again I show up to pick the kids up and drop them off regularly. Not unannounced but it kills me everytime, whether the house is quiet or full of life. If she has clearly only just got up in the morning because of me knocking on the door I wonder if she had a late night doing God knows what. If she opens the door with a friendly 'Hi' I think 'What the hell are you so happy about...?'. If she is nice to me I get the wrong idea. If she is indifferent it's even worse. If she is angry with me then I assume she must have feelings for me still. If I go to her place I feel like crap no matter how it pans out. Edited November 18, 2009 by nobleguy
Author McGrupp Posted November 18, 2009 Author Posted November 18, 2009 i just feel so ****ing helpless...i want to DO SOMETHING TO GET HER BACK!!! and there is nothing
Citizen Erased Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 I've had it happen to me and I hate it. It is awful when you can't even go home without having to be worried that there's someone waiting for you on your doorstep that clearly you don't want to see.
sean1970 Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 I've had it happen to me and I hate it. It is awful when you can't even go home without having to be worried that there's someone waiting for you on your doorstep that clearly you don't want to see. While she did it 3 weeks earlier, I wish to God I had not... Still stings...
soheartbroken Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 Hey McGrupp. Thought you were gone for good? You've already apologized to her, right? No point in doing it again. She knows that you know you screwed up and that you feel bad and want another chance. I've read almost all your posts. She knows already. I did a couple drive-bys of my ex's place, and each one ended in disaster. On one occasion, I had sent her an email and left a voice message on her phone. When she didn't respond, I drove by her house, wondering if maybe she was out of town, but I could see that she was home. She couldn't even be bothered to answer my phone message, yet she was just sitting at home watching tv! That ****ing killed me. It was like 2 weeks after we split, and she already wasn't taking my calls. This was from a woman who was the most caring person for 5 years. I was suddenly reduced to garbage. And she knew how badly I was hurting, and she still didn't return my call...just watched tv. Okay, okay, I'm rambling too much. This is bringing up depressing ****. On another occasion I parked near her place and watched...I guess I wanted to catch a glimpse of her. I won't go into details, but it was a MAJOR disaster. MAJOR. Don't do it. Then your next memory will be about whatever happens when you showed up. Keep your space, and that way the most recent painful memories will start to fade (like the memory of your last conversation). If you keep making contact, you just keep creating new painful memories (like the one where you found out she blocked your number - don't you wish you hadn't found that out?). It's like if I go on my ex's facebook page, I will see a fresh picture of her, and I don't want that ingrained in my head. I already have enough painful memories, I don't need new ones.
Author McGrupp Posted December 1, 2009 Author Posted December 1, 2009 (edited) agreed. retirement lasted about 11 hours. and i want some details!! Edited December 1, 2009 by McGrupp
Author McGrupp Posted December 1, 2009 Author Posted December 1, 2009 (edited) my desire to do this is insane even though i know the outcome. what did the dudes do that came up to see you? apologize? pleaD? i know it cant go well, but the mind wanders then i just thought if i dumped a chick and she did this. i would be a little freaked out Edited December 1, 2009 by McGrupp
Template Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 Sometimes, in the back of my mind, I'd wish my ex just contacted me or visited, at least just to say "Hi", and maybe, just maybe in my own sick twisted mind, that I wasn't this worthless, un-special THING to her, and that it all just wasn't a waste. But reality sets in, and yeah, I was just some nobody dude for her, and it was just a waste. Oh wells... live on i guess. I know for a fact she wouldn't want me to surprise visit her at all, and if I ever do, it's just to help reinforce her hatred of me, and just to piss her off more... HAHA
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