SadandConfusedWA Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 I do not want to give too much detail, but say you have had strong feelings for someone for years...and this person led you to believe that they are mutual, only they are unable to act due to circumstances... Now say a year ago or so, another woman came on the scene and suddenly this person lost all interest in you and was completely taken with other woman. Suddenly the same circumstances do not matter with this woman, and you realize that all those years it never really were the circumstances but rather the fact that this person wasn't that into you. Now imagine feeling completely crushed and being forced to watch their relationship develop in front of you... Say it's all happening in a work setting, and quitting work is logically the stupidest move you could possibly make. How would you deal with the situation?
carhill Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 I can empathize, from personal experience. IME, the work is evolving your feelings to a state of neutrality, essentially grieving the death of what you believed to be true. I'm sure that will be tough to do with continuing contact at work. If keeping your job is paramount and the emotional dynamic becomes intractable, get professional help. I know the tools I learned in MC helped me with this grief process and to really examine the feelings and understand the dynamic. Look in the mirror, accept and move on. Easier said than done, I know.
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted November 18, 2009 Author Posted November 18, 2009 Thanks carhill, yep I feel deceived and discarded. It's also making me emotional at work, and because I can not channel emotion properly or show it, I end up overreacting over the smallest work related incidents. Yesterday for example, a piece of my writing was harshly criticized and I threatened to quit my job. Of course, I wasn't really upset about my writing at all.
A O Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 Say it's all happening in a work setting, and quitting work is logically the stupidest move you could possibly make. Probably not as stupid as staying within that environment - that's sheer torture! I urge you to find another job, few jobs are worth the sheer agony and frustration, oh the frustration, you're going through and will continue to go through while things remain as is. .
VeveCakes Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 Oh hun I so feel for you. I was in love with someone for 5 years while they strung me along only to tell me at the end they could never get over how I dumped them in highschool. It's going to be really tough for a while, but you have to remember that there is some reason this happened. You will learn from it and something amazing will come along for you in the future. The best thing to do is try and change your train of thought every time you see it, or think about it. Think about the things in your life that make you happy, things you want to do in the future, and think about all the people you will be able to meet now that you aren't tied down to this dream of being with him/her. You have to take it day by day. Have you seen the movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall? It really helped me get over things, watch it and see how you feel, let me know what you think.
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