duskandsummer Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 I am still trying to get over this unrequited love, but what happens when you were doing better than you have in such a long time..and now I am back to being miserable. I don't know what to do. It hit me a couple of days ago and now its back to crying every night. I don't think I have cried in weeks until a few days ago. I think what triggered it was that my unrequited love and his on and off again girlfriend..are on again. It hurts me so much because she treats him like dirt. Here I am willing to give him everything, I would be so good to him and he wants to be with a girl who will never feel what I do. I'm more mad at myself that I was actually moving on, guys were starting to catch my eye again and now I am back to tunnel vision. I only see him. I don't know what to do..I am lost. Any thoughts?
nobleguy Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 A friend of mine described getting through this kind of situation as simply 'grinding out the next few months' and that is exactly what it is to me, whether I'm going out, exercising, even dating, whatever. Just when you think you're doing fine (I have been for the last couple of days), it just hits you again unexpectedly. Some random word, some song, a random memory. Gradually it just gets more and more infrequent, and each low is that little bit shorter. Hope you come out the other side soon.
Author duskandsummer Posted November 18, 2009 Author Posted November 18, 2009 Thanks that makes me feel a little better I guess knowing I'm not alone because I feel crazy and really have no one to talk to about this none of my friends have been through this so they don't understand,I just can't go another few months feeling this way. I wanna forget he even exists.
jerseyboy Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 A friend of mine described getting through this kind of situation as simply 'grinding out the next few months' and that is exactly what it is to me, whether I'm going out, exercising, even dating, whatever. Just when you think you're doing fine (I have been for the last couple of days), it just hits you again unexpectedly. Some random word, some song, a random memory. Gradually it just gets more and more infrequent, and each low is that little bit shorter. Hope you come out the other side soon. Exactly right. What I find also helps is somewhat counter intuitive. Unlike most of my friends, I cant date right after I break up with someone. There is no way a new person can compete with all the baggage youre still carrying for someone else, even if you are the one who left. So being with someone new seems to magnify the good points of the one I left, and tempts me to reconcile.
Author duskandsummer Posted November 19, 2009 Author Posted November 19, 2009 Exactly right. What I find also helps is somewhat counter intuitive. Unlike most of my friends, I cant date right after I break up with someone. There is no way a new person can compete with all the baggage youre still carrying for someone else, even if you are the one who left. So being with someone new seems to magnify the good points of the one I left, and tempts me to reconcile. see thats kind of what I feel..it has been pretty much a year of me feeling this way..because about a year ago is when things changed between me and my unrequited love. He no longer contacted me or try to see me. The months that I felt a little better, yes I was starting to notice other guys and opening up to the idea of dating because I felt like the healing has begun. I feel like you do though jerseyboy the reason its taken me 9 months to finally open up to the idea of dating is that I could never hurt someone the way I have been hurt. I don't want to date and have someone fall for me when I still have strong feelings for someone else. Dating at the state I was in would only make me feel worse because not only am I hurting but eventually I will be hurting someone else which is something I couldn't bare. The thing now is that I feel like im just back where I started and I don't know how to move on from here, its like I don't remember how I got better.
nobleguy Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 There is no way a new person can compete with all the baggage youre still carrying for someone else, even if you are the one who left. So being with someone new seems to magnify the good points of the one I left, and tempts me to reconcile. That appears to have been true in my case. My ex told me about her new boyfriend, but then the very next day admitted to having considered breaking with him and trying again with me. Shame it was too late as she had already slept with him - and that was something I couldn't ever forgive her for. Interesting that you should mention that though.
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