gtowncaniac Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 Hi -- I'm new here, and I recently read a thread on these boards about someone who was "crazy about him, but not physically attracted to him." Well, I'm in a vaguely similar situation -- I'm a college student and I've never even been kissed before, so dating/intimacy itself is a little scary to me. But there is a guy who I have been spending a lot of time with, and I have known for a long time that he has strong feelings for me and they only get deeper every day. I, too, have strong feelings for him - he is probably the most wonderful guy I've ever met - and I know I would be a fool not to just marry him and keep him in my life forever (that's how great of a guy he is). The only problem - I don't know for sure if I'm romantically attracted to him. He is good-looking, so that's not the problem. He is a little awkward sometimes, but that can be overlooked. So, honestly, I just don't know why I don't feel overtly romantically attracted. It could be that the only guys I've had strong feelings for in the past were guys who didn't like me back, so maybe my only experience with anything close to love has been one-sided? I just don't know. Should I give it time and try to make myself physically/romantically attracted to him? I don't want to give up such a wonderful relationship based on transient feelings. But how important are those feelings? Another thing - I know I am capable of feeling that attraction toward someone, because there has been someone else I have been attracted to for part of the past year, which was kind of developing simultaneously with this other relationship... but I have decided the first guy I mentioned would be a much better choice, someone who I KNOW loves me - so I just wish I could have the same physical feelings toward him that I have had toward this other guy!
jerseyboy Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 Think you answered your own question. I guess you can go with it hoping it will grow eventually. I actually respect the fact that youve put some thought into the situation and are trying to make a mature choice. Not sure though exactly how you are juggling these relationships and how much is involved with each. I was actually in a similar situation several years back, and it still annoys me. I was in a relationship with an absolutely perfect girl in so many ways. She was a damn sweetheart. Smart, funny, affectionate, fun to be with. She was more than pretty enough, thin and in shape. My friends and family all thought she was gorgeous. I even loved her family. I just absolutely loved being around her, spending time with her....our personalities meshed so well, and to be truthful, I never felt so loved by someone as with her. It was amazing I wanted her to be the one so badly it f'ing hurt. I could not makemyself sexually attracted to her.I think shes the only girl I ever dated that I didnt enjoy being with that way. It was tragic. And I tried to for close to 9 months. And Im a very sexual person. Just about everyone Ive ever dated has said they never knew someone who loved having sex so much. I mean even years later. And its not that we didnt have sex, I would do it cause I cared about her and all, and she was very sexual as well. But she wanted it all the time, and I would find myself making exuses not to have sex for the first time in my life lol. I felt so horrible. Honestly if she were good having sex only a few times a week I think I would have married her, the rest was that good. But in the end I just had to break it off with her. Not even because I was disatisfied, just more because I couldnt keep making up excuses and lying to her about it. So I guess what Im saying is really be sure if you can do without the rest, forever is a long time, and is he really worth it
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