Lucky_One Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 I'll be happy to provide that, Dexter, and also if you provide your state, tell you whether or not an adulterous spouse is entitled to spousal support there. But I have to go cook dinner right now, but will be back in a couple of hours during homework time.
Author mybrowneyedgirl Posted November 18, 2009 Author Posted November 18, 2009 hmmm. after some research. in our state the no-fault marriage divides it up pretty much 50/50, then accounts for who is asking for the divorce, salaries, child support etc. in the fault divorce it would be more likely 60/40. then account for the salaries etc. so the husband of a cheating wife would not have to pay nearly as much alimony, if any.
Dexter Morgan Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 Most states DO have a form of fault. Even in a state that allows for no-fault (and all that really means is you don't have to show a reason like adultery, insanity, irrec differences, etc), adultery can still affect property division. Here's a link about that issue for Rhode Island - http://www.divorcenet.com/divorcenet_2/states/rhode_island/no_fault_divorce_in_ri well I think my attorney, one of the best, knows what he is talking about. Rhode Island is listed as no fault, yet this link, which probably isn't a testament of actual divorce court law, says that cheating can help obtain more than 50% of marital assets. That being the case and RI is no fault, that means that this should apply to any state, ESPECIALLY the fault states. But my attorney says, that all sounds good, but I could have digital video spread all over youtube of my xwife being pounded by another man in my bed, looking at the camera and saying, "my name is [blank] and you are watching a video of me cheating on my husband [blank] on this day, time, date", and it wouldn't make a bit of difference in custody or reducing her marital asset entitlement. If it did, you better believe he would have gone for it as it would have gotten him more money, as well as me.
Dexter Morgan Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 I'll be happy to provide that, Dexter, and also if you provide your state, tell you whether or not an adulterous spouse is entitled to spousal support there. But I have to go cook dinner right now, but will be back in a couple of hours during homework time. illinois ......
White Flower Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 What makes you think the BW will even want to have anything to do with you? Maybe she just wants to be done with her H and you may be the last person on earth she would want to bring into her life. Believe me honey, most BW aren't interested in anything the OW has to say. If he has admitted to an affair, she has all she needs from him. She would have no reason to think that your truth would be any different than his truth. I don't know, a lot of OW want the truth to be out and W and OW are dealing with a serial liar. Sometimes the only way to get the truth is through each other.
Fallen Angel Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 The laws differ from state to state so I would suggest reading up on the laws in your state to ease your mind. In MY state the divorce laws very much favor the betrayed spose. If they can prove the affair between the WS and the "Other", they can be awarded lifetime spousal support. (Even if they re-marry later.) They can also be awarded a larger portion of the maritial assets, can sue the other for alienation of affection and can even seek criminal charges against both the WS and the "other", as adultery is still considered a criminal offense in my state. I actually told MM about all these laws because I was shocked, he already knew them.. makes me wonder why he isn't more concerned... though I did find a part of the law that says basically, if the BS reconciles with the WS after a D-day, they are considered to have 'condoned' the affair and then can not use that affair as the 'fault' in the divorce or the basis for requesting lifetime support. They have to find a NEW affair if they tried to rekindle marriage after a D-day. Still, I couldn't imagine having to worry about being forced into court to testify about my relationship with MM. UGH. I feel sick just thinking about a court asking about personal details of my life like that.
Dexter Morgan Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 I'll be happy to provide that, Dexter, and also if you provide your state, tell you whether or not an adulterous spouse is entitled to spousal support there. But I have to go cook dinner right now, but will be back in a couple of hours during homework time. again, Illinois....and you possibly could post a link to words that say what is SUPPOSE to be true according to state law, but precedence and what actually is granted in the courts in reality proves otherwise. I've never heard a case where a judge decress, "you cheated, therefore you get more money!!!" in so many words anyway:o
Fallen Angel Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 again, Illinois....and you possibly could post a link to words that say what is SUPPOSE to be true according to state law, but precedence and what actually is granted in the courts in reality proves otherwise. I've never heard a case where a judge decress, "you cheated, therefore you get more money!!!" in so many words anyway In my state if it can be proven that you were a party to an adulterous relationship (even after physical separation, unless both parties agree to allow such relationships in a separation agreement filed with the courts) it can preclude you from getting a dime of support, certainly it would never INCREASE your chances for such!
Dexter Morgan Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 In my state if it can be proven that you were a party to an adulterous relationship (even after physical separation, unless both parties agree to allow such relationships in a separation agreement filed with the courts) it can preclude you from getting a dime of support, certainly it would never INCREASE your chances for such! child support is a no brainer. alimony should be outlawed completely. and I think what was being referred to is not support, but the idea that infidelity will get you more of the marital assets. again, no matter what is written on paper, precedence and reality prove otherwise.
GorillaTheater Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 alimony should be outlawed completely. There are reasons I like living in Texas, besides the winter weather.
Dexter Morgan Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 There are reasons I like living in Texas, besides the winter weather. my X tried to go for alimony, and in negotiations, my lawyer just told her and her lawyer that "my client isn't going to pay alimony and will fight this until your client can't pay you your fee any longer. Your client is an adulteress and I'm quite convinced that the judge will not entertain giving alimony to someone that couldn't keep her legs closed to other men during the marriage. So if you decide to go for alimony, we'll drag it out as long as it takes" They backed off. And he actuall said that bout keeping her legs crossed(my attorney has a mouth on him) I bout busted a gut right there.
GorillaTheater Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 Good for him. Your ex must've turned various shades of purple. Here, we have temporary spousal support until the decree is final, and you can take a hit on the community property, but there's no alimony post-divorce. There's alot of men on these boards who should consider a temporary move here until they can establish residency.
Dexter Morgan Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 Good for him. Your ex must've turned various shades of purple. well thats when we were asked if he could have a moment alone with his client...we left, came back in , and they took it off the table. I knew exactly what her attorney was telling her, "if you go for this, it will be expensive and will drag on for maybe even years." Not only that, he more than likely told her that the judge wouldn't go for alimony anyway, especially after hearing about all her cheating.(and I had people ready to testify, but knew I wouldn't have to go that route). So they tried to use taking alimony off the table to get more concessions, like more out of my retirement. My attorney just said "no", and looked at them. He said, "here is the caluclation from the time your client was married to my client and how many years he put into the plan before they were married....she is only entitled to that and the judge will see it the same way". My attorney was worth every penny. Here, we have temporary spousal support until the decree is final, and you can take a hit on the community property, but there's no alimony post-divorce. There's alot of men on these boards who should consider a temporary move here until they can establish residency. well, I got a quit claim deed on the house as well. She wanted me to move out. I told her that I wouldn't until after I talked to my attorney. After talking to him, I came back to her and said, "ok, I'll move out....but you'll owe me for half the equity in the house which is roughly equivalent to your portion of my retirement." She didn't like that at all. So she wanted me to have the house so she could get 1/2 the equity. Only one problem. She racked up some debt during the marriage because of her inability to manage money. So I paid the debt, and didn't owe her anything for the house. Her half of the equity was more than the debt, but I got all the equity.
Lucky_One Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 I've never heard a case where a judge decress, "you cheated, therefore you get more money!!!" in so many words anyway:o No backwards. In many states, cheaters are NOT allowed alimony by judges. Let me go back and look for the statutes for GA. Sorry - I forgot to come back to this. Thanks for bumping.
Lucky_One Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 (edited) ALIMONY/MAINTENANCE/SPOUSAL SUPPORT: Alimony may be awarded on either temporary or permanent basis. A party shall not be entitled to alimony if it is established by a preponderance of the evidence that the marital discord was caused by that party's adultery or desertion. Alimony may be awarded in accordance with the needs of the party seeking alimony, and the ability of the other party to pay. Unless otherwise provided, alimony shall end upon the remarriage of the party receiving alimony. In determining whether or not to grant alimony, the court shall consider evidence of the conduct of each party toward the other. The following shall be considered in determining the amount of alimony, if any, to be awarded: The standard of living established during the marriage.The duration of the marriage.The age and the physical and emotional condition of both parties.The financial resources of each party.The time necessary for either party to acquire sufficient education or training to enable him to find appropriate employment.The contribution of each party to the marriage, including, but not limited to, services rendered in homemaking, child care, education, and career building of the other party.The condition of the parties, including the separate estate, earning capacity, and fixed liabilities of the parties.Such other relevant factors as the court deems equitable and proper. [based on Georgia Code - Sections: 19-6-1 and 19-6-5] Edited November 23, 2009 by Lucky_One
Lucky_One Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 Quote: Cheating also has a basis in marital fault, which deals with alimony. no, it doesn't. My wife was the one that cheated, and she might have been able to get alimony from me. the judge doesn't look at her and say, you are in need of alimony....oops wait, you are a cheating skank....NO MONEY FOR YOU. Doesn't work that way...unfortunately, and I wish you were right. In some states, the judge DOES look at a cheating spouse and say "oops wait, you are a cheating skank...NO MONEY FOR YOU." Georgia does it, Texas does itand North Carolina does it. New York does not, but New Jersey does consider it but rejected an outright bar to adultery equaling no alimony. Illinois does not consider marital misconduct in determining alimony. Quote: There is legislation on the books in GA that provides that judges don't have allow alimony to an adulterous spouse. can you show me the legislation, or the precedent where people are awarded alimony BECAUSE of adultery? prenups don't count, and even then aren't always enforcable. Somewhere you read something backwards; I have been saying in this entire thread that people are NOT awarded alimony if they have committed adultery.
Recommended Posts