penguinluv Posted December 12, 2003 Posted December 12, 2003 Can friends have sex and stay the same? Would it be cruel to have sex with a friend that likes me and expect to stay friends?
dyermaker Posted December 12, 2003 Posted December 12, 2003 *whistles* Yes, if you go to a different thread, I'll terrorize you here too. It would only be cruel if they didn't know you didn't have an emotional attachment as they did. It's cruel if one person thinks there is something there and there isn't.
DerangedAngel Posted December 12, 2003 Posted December 12, 2003 I totally agree with Dyer! It is very cruel to lead someone on like that, unless you want to go into details explaining that you have no intentions of dating him/her. And it doesn't take much common sense to see that would be hurtful, too! I would avoid it, definitely. Things will NOT be the same. )(Deranged)(
dyermaker Posted December 12, 2003 Posted December 12, 2003 Actually, I disagree in one respect. Telling the person that you love them and care for them, but aren't attracted to them romantically isn't cruel. It's the right thing to do, and the only thing you can do. It's leading them on that's cruel. If you tell him, and he's a man of quality, he'll understand and still want to be your friend. But right now, he expects more, and your friendship is based on a lie. Edit: Damn, I'm already a "Member"--wow
DerangedAngel Posted December 12, 2003 Posted December 12, 2003 Well now, hold it Dyer. If he/she says, I like you as a friend, I want to f*** you, but I don't think you're the kind of person I would like to date... that is cruel isn't it? They will hear 'I want to use you'. I just think mixing sex with friendships, unless you want a romantic relationship with them, is a bad idea.
dyermaker Posted December 12, 2003 Posted December 12, 2003 No, I wasn't factoring sex as part of the equation. I was assuming that she meant the same guy as in her old post, and also assuming that she added sex to this post because she's assuming that's what he wants. Definitely no sex. Cruel: (Get it? It's cruel not to say anything) Not Cruel: I love you, and I love being your friend, but I'm not interested in you romantically.
Author penguinluv Posted December 12, 2003 Author Posted December 12, 2003 He is right. I do care for him and he is a good person. Im just dont think of him like that. He is in love with me and I love him in the way you'd love a close friend. See the difference? Im hoping that the sex can compensate.
DerangedAngel Posted December 12, 2003 Posted December 12, 2003 Sorry! Hadn't read the other post (or I don't remember reading it anyway *chuckle*) I was gonna start to wonder about you Dyer. Are you sexually attracted to him penguin?
dyermaker Posted December 12, 2003 Posted December 12, 2003 Of all the reasons I've heard to have sex with someone, that's one of the worst--Don't do it! (Lol; edited for clarity, sometimes a misplaced modifer alters the meaning of what I was trying to say--I don't want ya to have sex with me )
DerangedAngel Posted December 12, 2003 Posted December 12, 2003 Yeah like "D" says... you shouldn't try to 'compensate' as you called it. I mean, if you are sexually attracted to him (I gather you aren't, but IF), and he's ok with that kind of relationship... knowing it won't be more... then maybe
dyermaker Posted December 12, 2003 Posted December 12, 2003 Having sex with someone is not a substitute for an emotional connection with someone, and if he's half the friend you make him out to be, he'd know that.
Arabess Posted December 12, 2003 Posted December 12, 2003 Sex between two people who have agreed on sex only....is one thing. Sex in hope of getting someone to care about you....is completely something else. Whereas one may be pleasurable.....the other is sure to beak your heart.
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