4 months later I'm hit with something worse than being dumped.

[disarm_1]

For 4 months I struggled with understanding why my ex-gf dumped me. All she would give me were vague answers. "It's not you, it's me" "We're too young for such responsibility."

 

This week I finally had a real talk with her. She finally opened up. She told me her reasons for being unhappy and while they hurt I couldn't tell her she was wrong. I agreed. There was a lack of communication. We did sweep a lot of stuff under the rug and never resolved them. There ere other things. As we talked though I noticed she'd mention "caring about me" and "liking me a lot". Finally I asked if she was ever actually IN love with me. She said no. She says she does love me and cares for me but since the break up she's rethought everything and she can't say she was ever IN love with me. She said that she only thinks you're IN love with someone when you want to marry them, and we both had made it clear we didn't want that anytime soon. So no she was never IN love with me.

 

So just like that I find out that the past 3yrs of my life were a lie. Each and every time I said that I loved her I meant it. Her responses were all lies. I feel like it can't get much worse than this. Well unless she wants to throw in there that she cheated or something. This sucks... I recently saw Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind for the first time. I thought that it was awesome, when at the end they know the relationship will end in heartbreak but they still want to do it because they know that they love each other and their time together was great. They decide to just keep going through a cycle because those years together were amazing. I used to feel the same way. My 3yrs with her were the best years of my life. Not anymore. They are by far the emptiest, unauthentic years of my life.

[nobleguy]

Yeah I know where you are coming from. We split in March then after her telling me she doesn't love me anymore, we got back together in April. then in august it happened again and she didn't love me again. I had possibly the best four months with her ever in that time. I appreciated her again and was so relieved to have back what I thought I'd lost.

 

Turns out when she said "I love you" to me during that time back together she didn't really mean it. It has destroyed those times that I thought were so good with her. The outings, the meals, the kisses. It's a natural feeling I think to feel a bit cheated of those memories. Not nice to have to deal with though.