How to help a 23 yr old ignorant about "first moves" sick of "Being in the Dark"

[Steve_striker1]

Ok quick problem

 

First off I’ve read almost all the posts here to make sure my problem hasn’t been addressed yet

 

So here's the deal.

 

I'm 23 years old and I live in the US. I've had a pretty messed up life , my real parents divorced when I was 11 months old, then my real mom and my step-dad married when I was 6, then they divorced (process went through 3 years in the courts) finally last year it was final. When I was 18, I tried college and it didn’t work for me. So I left and went to work for about 1-1/2 years full time, at that time the family was together and everything was fine. so I went to go teach at a summer camp over the summer ('00) and about half way through I called home to say hi and stuff (I was across the country) well not only did they not even inform me, but I had to ask if everything was ok and stuff before they let me know they were filing a divorce. So that fall I moved away to school on the other opposite end of the country. And was there for 2 years before coming back home because of rising tuition and changed majors and getting gen-eds outta the way

 

So that’s the basic background. It might allow for the reaosns why ive never been in a relationship before becuase of my family life being too ridiculous

 

my question is I met these two chicks in my freshman gen-ed class (keep in mind in 23 and have not ever had a gf/ or even kissed affectionately another girl) so I’m fine with hanging out and stuff, but because my dad's were both retards, I’ve never knew how to make the first move... ever..... So I can get phone numbers and "pick them up" so to speak but don't know how to go past that point at all. Like I’m a platypus without a tail. I know when girls flirt ,, I know how relationship happen and all that, I’ve seen enough of them with my friends n stuff.. But I just don't have a clue about the first move. And it’s now around the holidays, and I’m just sick of being alone every single year all the time.

 

So what do I do? Like how do I initiate the first move... granted i dont have problem with confiidence at all, i just don't know, liek im truly ignorant to everythign about that part of relationships because no one ever sat me down or even explained anything to me

 

 

I am interested in both these girls who are younger than me kind of, and I know they will probably expect me to be somewhat knowledgeable about this considering I am 23 and I’ve been told I’m very "attractive"(so I guess it would probably be expected of me to know the ropes) but whatever, I just don't understand.

 

 

So if anyone could please help me out, I would be indebt so much, it would make my holidays and life. Thanks so much for reading this.

[moimeme]

What are you talking about when you say 'first move'??? Do you mean to go on a date (I hope)? Ask the person to attend an event with you. It could be lunch, coffee, a trip to the zoo, anything.

[Steve_striker1]

no im fine with askign out, i can do that and all i mean in terms of showign affetion, do i just kiss her, or do i hug or do i just tell her stright up how i feel. yeah see i can get dates but i enevr know how to make them go furthur into relationships.

[DerangedAngel]

Ummm... you DO know that you have to have several dates with a person to see if you click right? I mean, you can't just start telling her how you feel after one date, uh cause it has been my experience you don't have anything to share. Other than you enjoyed spending the day/evening with them or whatever. I think I am confused about what you're wanting to know. Try again to clarify.

[moimeme]

There's usually a progression. If she starts touching you (arm, leg, wherever) it's a good sign. You can do same (spontaneously - don't try to script this). Each person will be different. She might lean in for a kiss - in which case, go for it. She might lean against you when you're sitting together - in which case go for the hug. I expect you'll get signals and, really, they aren't that hard to discern!

[Steve_striker1]

yeah i know one of the girls flirts with me hardcore, and weve been goign out and stuff for the last month or so off an on weeks n stuff, but how do i , like ive heard about the whole put arm over and sneek a kisis in and stuff, but how do i go about doing that, do i just go sit with her and just do it blatent? im not shy at all, i just don't have the knowledge,

 

thanks for trying to help me out, i really do appreciate it all.

 

im just so frustrated cuz this weeknd both chicks want to hang out with me, and when i decide on which one i wanna "pursue" or whatever, then i will knwo how to react , if ya get me?

[moimeme]

It can be a tough call, but a lot of it is paying attention to what the girl is doing. If she's getting snuggly with you, snuggle back. If you get closer to her and she shifts a bit, then leave it be for a while. You can't plan it all in your head because you need to try to read her - and she'll be doing the same back.

[Steve_striker1]

cuz like i know she will be expecting somethign after all cuz she like sits on my lap and stuff in class(wen we do group work,) she is always touching me, i know she does stuff, but i don't wanna ruin my chance by not doing too much or too little. cuz i really liek this girl n stuff, and i know that after a while she will lose interest if i don't do somethign real soon.

 

in 2 months (since class started this semester in septmeber) she has never mentioned a bf at all not even when im over thereand her siblings don't say antyhgin, no one calls her witht he "bf effect" so well i jst don't knwo, im really frustrated and to the point where im thiking of just being striaght up with her like " look i liek you alot. and i just wanted to make sure i did before i approached you" sorta hting to get me out of the "im too much of a wuss" thinking that she woudl go through if i just simply said i liek you but i don't knwo what to do sorta thing" that way it will get it out in the open but i won't feel liek such an ignorant idiot