sean1970 Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 This is probably the hardest part of coping with a breakup...accepting that someone is better off without you, even after all the great times during the relationship...I still don't want to believe it myself, but I've come to accept it...and it breaks my heart every time I think about it...but at the same time, my life is also much better now after the breakup...I learned so much from the breakup about myself and relationships in general... And she made me realize the number one thing I'm looking for in a girl...character...and I'm really ok being single for however long it takes to find someone that has amazing character like she did...maybe it'd even end up being her someday, if it was meant to be...but if not, at least I'm headed in the right direction in finding someone that's perfect for me... Thanks USMCHokie, that was really helpful... I am not to the point where I think I am better off without her but I know I will be a different (hopefully better) man on the other side when I get there... In the end, I know she loved me, I know I loved her, I know we will both love again. Again, thanks...
Author USMCHokie Posted November 20, 2009 Author Posted November 20, 2009 I am not to the point where I think I am better off without her but I know I will be a different (hopefully better) man on the other side when I get there... I didn't necessarily say that I'm better off without her...I just said that I'm better off that we broke up...I never experienced a breakup from something so serious...and I am SO grateful that I got to experience the pain and learn from all the mistakes that come with the breakup...it's like learning how to walk and then run...we all need to go through it to grow up... I honestly don't know whether I'd be better off in the end without her...and I honestly don't know whether she'll be better off without me...only time will tell that...all our situations are different...but I've accepted that we may be meant to be with different people....but until then, live your life... And you're welcome, that's why we're all here...
nobmagnet Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 reading these threads has made me realise something very important. I really am happier without him. I am terrified for my financial security and so when he looks at me in a sorrowful way it gives me hope i might gain secutity again by having him back. It is not him I need, my children and I need security within ourselves and that will come in time. Our relationship soured 2 years ago. He lost respect for me and no matter what I did to please him he had emotionally stepped away from us. The drip feeding of resentment distroyed my self esteam without me realising it. I was devastated he had been having an affaire with a work collegue for a long time but it explained a lot of his behaviour. Yes we have had fun in the past and I have some pleasant memories. But do I miss him...............probably not as my good days are good. My self esteam is slowly returning and my kids are more relaxed. I just need to remeber this on my "bad" days.
GrayClouds Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 Maybe it missing how we saw ourselves when we were together, but the thing to remember we are still that person. A glass is a glass even if there is no water in it. Lets make sure next time instead of water we make sure we holding a nice tasty wine. something like a early Chateau Mouton-Rothschild Jeroboam. Cheers
Thebob Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 This is probably the hardest part of coping with a breakup...accepting that someone is better off without you, even after all the great times during the relationship...I still don't want to believe it myself, but I've come to accept it...and it breaks my heart every time I think about it...but at the same time, my life is also much better now after the breakup...I learned so much from the breakup about myself and relationships in general... And she made me realize the number one thing I'm looking for in a girl...character...and I'm really ok being single for however long it takes to find someone that has amazing character like she did...maybe it'd even end up being her someday, if it was meant to be...but if not, at least I'm headed in the right direction in finding someone that's perfect for me... Not to hate, But I really don't believe in that meant to be crap just because it sounds so fishy. If it was meant to be, then how come it didn't work at first, or say after 10 years down the road you meet up, but she has gotten with 5-20 other dudes during the time, but her feelings finally fall for you then, you would feel the same? I feel we just use that to make things seem better honestly. I'm not tryin to hate like I said I am just putting my opinion out their.
HeavenOrHell Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 I identify with all of this..only been 4 months since he left, but I am scared it will take me a very long to really get over it, I know someone who still misses her husband 10 years on and she tried another relationship, but he left her as she couldn't fall in love with him This terrifies me. People say well just don't let that happen to you but how do you pretend you don't love that person anymore? I miss the way we clicked. I felt closer to her than my own family. I miss the way we could talk for hours and never get bored. I've never met anyone as well read or interesting as she was. I lost my best friend and my lover when it ended. I miss the way she could make me laugh.. like no one else I've ever met. I miss the way we felt like children when we were together.. There was a playfulness in the way we related to one another. The general sense of "liking" one another. I miss feeling. I've been numb since we parted. Like some part of me was amputated and I'll never really be the person I was before. I worry sometimes that losing her has broken me in a way I'll never recover from. It's been over 2 years now and my heart is still empty. I've lost my faith. If a love like ours was can fail... is there really any hope at happiness.
nobmagnet Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 why do you need to relace him? When the time is right you might but in the mean time you really should be indulging in you! It is very important to take time to get to know yourself again and when you do you will either be happy on your own or in such a good place the men will be flocking round you!!! I have too much experience of this.............i am happy going it alone but then again I am 39! hee hee
Author USMCHokie Posted November 21, 2009 Author Posted November 21, 2009 If it was meant to be, then how come it didn't work at first, or say after 10 years down the road you meet up, but she has gotten with 5-20 other dudes during the time, but her feelings finally fall for you then, you would feel the same? I feel we just use that to make things seem better honestly. I'm not tryin to hate like I said I am just putting my opinion out their. And you're right. I don't know how I'm going to feel 10 years down the road...and frankly, I'm not worried about it. If I've moved on or if she's moved on, so be it. The whole meant to be thing is really my way of letting go of the future...and living only in the present...there are so many factors that would affect the future...(butterfly theory, etc...)...and most likely, it's not meant to be...but who the hell knows...it's not really meant as hope that she'll come back...but just acceptance of whatever path life takes us...
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