Ilovecake Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 I'm having a really hard time staying calm today. I really thought I was rid of the ex for good. He dumped me. I was broken hearted, he started dating someone else, I got over it, he got dumped. I had everything all laid out perfect. I had his facebook profile blocked, I avoided going places I knew he would be at. I really kept any contact to a minimum besides maybe seeing him post every few months on a forum I post on, which didn't bother me too much because he always managed to post something stupid and made himself look like an ass. Last Saturday I saw him and his friend at a club, I ignored both of them. just acted as if I didn't know them. Of course they had to come by the group of people I was talking with to say hi, I just calmly walked away and got a beer. I guess he was perturbed by the fact that I was having a good time with people who were our mutual friends, even though some of them I knew for years before even meeting my ex. Saturday after the show where I saw him at a group of my friends and I went to a bar down the street, he must have walked by the bar 5 times with his stupid buddy. Now I see he deleted his facebook account that I had blocked and started a new one. He is going down the line befriending almost everyone I’m friends with on there. He has his profile set up in a weird way where it won’t let me block him and I’m seeing all his posts on MY friends pages. He’s trying to make plans with them and stuff. Also he’s been all over the forum I mentioned above just posting nonsense; there I was able to block him but I can still see his name whenever he posts something just not the actual post. I don’t want to sound paranoid but it almost feels like he’s trying to steel my friends. It’s making me really really mad. I hate him and I want to hit him. He’s 33 years old; I don’t understand why he has to play such childish games to try and still make me mad. It’s been a year since we broke up. What can I do to stay calm and keep acting aloof? i don't want him to even thing for a moment that it's bothering me, even though it really is. I also hope if I ignore his childish efforts he'll get bored and move on.
sean1970 Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 It’s making me really really mad. I hate him and I want to hit him. He’s 33 years old; I don’t understand why he has to play such childish games to try and still make me mad. It’s been a year since we broke up. What can I do to stay calm and keep acting aloof? i don't want him to even thing for a moment that it's bothering me, even though it really is. I also hope if I ignore his childish efforts he'll get bored and move on. Is it making you mad because part of you still cares? Im not implying you do, it just seems you are more angry than I would expect if you did not. Other have to notice he is making an ass of himself, yes?
Author Ilovecake Posted November 17, 2009 Author Posted November 17, 2009 I see what you mean Sean and yeah it would seem that maybe I care but really what I'm feeling is that I truly do not even like him as a person. I just recently started going out again. The breakup really messed me up and I sort of sat home alone for many months. I'm finally going out again and reconnecting with my friends and it feels really good. They're all very happy to see me, this in turn is helping my very damaged self esteem. This is probably going to sound just as immature as what he's doing but I guess I feel threatened that he'll take my friends away from me. I know partly the reason he’s doing this is because his girlfriend dumped him and he’s bitter because I’m getting a lot of attention right now from my male friends. I go to a lot of rock shows so I’ve run into him a few times since we broke up and it didn’t bother me to see him. When he was with his girlfriend he never even bothered to say hi to any of our friends now it’s like he’s going “look at me, look at me”. Do you know what I mean? I’m not sure I’m verbalizing my feelings about this correctly. He thinks we should hang out in the same circles and I don’t. I really want nothing to do with him; I think he's icky.
lostsoulmate Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 I found this quote perfect for you situation IMO: "You don't mind, and they don't matter, So don't let it get to you" Good luck with your situation. It doesn't sound very easy to deal with, but if he knows that he is getting to you, that would give him satisfaction you don't want him to have.
sean1970 Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 (edited) When he was with his girlfriend he never even bothered to say hi to any of our friends now it’s like he’s going “look at me, look at me”. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I think I do... I was going to be in town (she is 4 hours away) and she found out. "Here!, this weekend!, excited!!!" We make tentative plans for that Saturday and she was to let me know that Friday where and when for lunch... Nothing... I called Saturday night from a party close by her house (not intentional) at 10:30... Nothing... Called Sunday, "Maybe I was on a date...." ouch... "Can you go now or are you still on your date" I said... "You really want the answer to that' she said. A week goes by and the "sorries" roll in after it did not work out with that guy. "Look at me... forgive me"... so yeah.... I get it... If your friends are indeed friends then you need not worry about them being stolen... They have seen how far you have come in a year, yes? Keep going out, keep having fun. Also, try not to let on to your mutual friends that this has temporarily affected you (and it is temporary). You don't want to give him the satisfaction were it to get back to him. Edited November 17, 2009 by sean1970
Author Ilovecake Posted November 17, 2009 Author Posted November 17, 2009 Thanks. I didn't tell anyone that I even noticed this happening, but I know his M O very well. Even when we were living together if he knew something he did bothered me he would always do it more just because he knew it would send me over the edge. I'm just going to go about business as usual, I'm not even going to try and block him on facebook. I'll just fume inside and post about it here when he will never see it. He’s like a street mutt; the only way to make him go away is to ignore him.
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