Funky Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 Here's the low down. Had a house with my ex that we lived in together for 2 years. She decided to end things because I didn't make her happy enough along with some other things. This was the second time she dumped me for the same reasons. The first time she decided to go to a wedding with someone else 2 weeks after our breakup, they made out and I actually took her back after... Now this last time, she dumps me and 1 month later while we are still living together she goes and sleeps with someone else. She finally moves out, keeps sleeping with him, then sleeps with another, dates 2 other guys and then she says she realised that she still loved me and comes back 1 month after her little getting laid and dating run... I myself dated and slept with someone else during that time so let's make that clear atleast. Now after about 3 months of us being broken up she decides that she loves me, she was a fool to throw everything away and wants me back in her and her sons life. She was very mean with me during this whole time and really broke my heart into millions of pieces. Now what I wonder is does this person really deserve to be with me after all that she did and all the harm that she caused me? Don't get me wrong I love her but can I live with all the things she did that hurt me? Breaking promises of not sleeping with this guy again after I busted her... What do you guys and girls think?
ADF Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 Not only do I think you two shouldn't date, I don't think you should even see or talk to each other any more. What do we have here? Repeated dumpings, repeated infidelity, what looks like a total lack of respect for your feelings. The dynamic between you sounds terrible, and if you don't let go, you're going to be enmeshed in a messy, painful, on-and-off relationship with this woman for years to come. Look at it this way: if you forgive this woman and take her back, what are telling her? Basically, that you'll put up with anything. That no matter what she does, no matter how badly she treats you, you're so lonely and desperate and wipped by her that you'll take it. That is not a good message to send.
Perhaps Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 Well, she did sleep with someone else in a matter of weeks.. which is pretty.. uncool. But you did too. So... my adivce would be to take her back only if you're sure she's sorry. How do you know she's sorry? Tell her that she's done this twice and that you can't go through this again. If she's Really sorry, ask her to show you that she is. She has to Earn that chance.
carhill Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 Is she still a joint tenant in the house, presuming you still own it and live there? If yes, I'd move to rectify that as quickly as possible. You know she's unstable. I wouldn't want my money riding with an unstable partner. I personally would not consider any sort of reconciliation. YMMV
Author Funky Posted November 17, 2009 Author Posted November 17, 2009 We sold the house, she moved out into an appartment and I bought myself a new house. The day I move into the new house she comes crawling back. Well all my friends are saying that she doesn't deserve to be with me after everything she put me threw.
jerseyboy Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 I think you should totally take it back. While not being much of a masochist myself, I do find it interesting to read about others who put themselves through that much grief, so you should be in a position to provide more entertaining reading in the future once you two patch things up Looking forwards to reading about the next train wreck
carhill Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 Well all my friends are saying that she doesn't deserve to be with me after everything she put me threw. I hope those friends enjoy the hospitality of your new home often
seibert253 Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 We sold the house, she moved out into an appartment and I bought myself a new house. The day I move into the new house she comes crawling back. Well all my friends are saying that she doesn't deserve to be with me after everything she put me threw. I agree with your friends.
TimH Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 As easily as she slept with another,chances are very good it will happen again.You may want to think about this for a minute,would she be at your new house while your at work? If so there is a good chance she will eventually sleep with another in your own bed.Its not a sure thing of course but a higher percentage chance than not.If it happened would you be able to sleep in the same bed or stay at your new house again? Really it boils down to this,you have to be prepared mentally and emotionally for the worst rather than for the best should you take her back.That a way your at least a bit more prepared vs being in shock.The best thing here should you reunite with this Women is not to live together for quite some time and see where it goes.
Boundary Problem Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 Forget she exists. She showed you nothing but disrespect. She does not love you. Why did you put up with so much crap? Fix that problem and then go find yourself a good woman.
LucreziaBorgia Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 My guess is that she couldn't find a guy to support her, put a roof over her head and put up with her crap the way she thinks you will. Honestly? I'd tell her to go pound sand, but it isn't always that easy to do.
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