stoneymirror Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 My gf of almost 1 yr always has issues with something I do, or don't do and she can't communicate with me. Instead whenever I try and explain myself she just gets more upset and blows up at me, then ignores me cause she's too mad to even talk. Here's her issue today: I don't make an effort to come visit her at her house. I just recently moved so I can be closer to work. I told her that I probably wouldn't come over as much on the week days since it would add over 30 miles to my work commute. It been two weeks since I've moved and already this is an issue. I'm getting really frustrated with the way she handles issues. I literally don't feel I can say anything without her blowing up. Every issue we've ever had results in her saying she's now upset and doesn't feel like talking. Most of the time she gets so upset that she starts swearing and yelling at me and gives me the guilt treatment. She's never been able to calm down, and basically buries herself deeper and deeper cause she has no self control. I'm at a point where I just can't deal with it anymore. I love her, but there isn't a day that passes that she doesn't have some negative comment about something related to me. All my buds think she's just crazy about me, but I'm beginning to feel crappier each day when she always has something to complain about. She ends up blowing up on me, leaving and then when I just let her do her thing she always comes back and apologizes. She's been under a lot of stress lately, but these fights are so frequent and so explosive that I seriously don't think I can do it anymore. Even when I try and explain my situation she is just so stubborn and thinks the worse and never accepts my perspective. Once again here I am being ignored by her, and tuned out. She mentions today how she's upset I'm not making an effort to come visit her, and I simply reply back saying I drove us 50+ miles just last Saturday to go to one of her friends b-day parties. I feel like there's always going to be an issue with her, and I feel she's never going to be able to communicate without it blowing up. Am I wasting my time here or what? I'm just getting really sick of being treated this way.
Author stoneymirror Posted November 17, 2009 Author Posted November 17, 2009 25 views and no comments or input. Come on
sara82 Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 The one question you need to ask yourself is "am I happy?" To me it doesn't sound like you are?? Life's too short to be in a relationship that doesnt satisfy you. You should never get to the point that all you feel for the person your dating is worry...worrying that all they are going to do is constantly belittle and make fun of you. I sencerely hope she hasn't been like this for your entire year long relationship?? Cause if so...your a saint, any other guy would of been running in the other direction within the first couple of months You deserve better than that. Find a girl that adores you, one that wants to spend time with you, and loves you for your strenghts and excepts you for your faults and won't judge you for everything in between! Take care and goodluck!
Author stoneymirror Posted November 17, 2009 Author Posted November 17, 2009 Thanks sara, I appreciate your input. Honestly she has been this way since we started dating. I can remember only a week or two into the relationship and she was already telling me the type of person I was. It's difficult, because my GF has opened my eyes to some things I definitely need to improve on, and I've actually changed quite a bit in this last year and have been more understanding and less reactive. I've also become less selfish and learned how to take more responsibility for things. I guess I'm just now at a point where I feel like I'm just not good enough just being myself. My GF tells me how it's been a year now and I haven't done anything to impress her. Yet I've bought her pearl earings, necklaces, attended most of her family and work related events, I've taken her to concerts, shows, I've changed her oil for her and yet when she's upset with me she tells me how I haven't done anything. It's just so frustrating, especially once she's calmed down and tells me how wonderful of a boyfriend I am, and how patient I am, etc, etc. But a day won't pass, and she'll be upset about something, and it will come off as almost a personal attack everytime. I ask questions, try and put things in perspective, but by then she doesn't want to hear any of it, and goes down this path of telling me, "what's the point, I don't want to be in a relationship like this, you make me feel this way, etc, etc. A complete guilt treatment, yet it's her who blows up and makes every situation irreversable. I'm just so tired of going through her mood swings every day. It's really taking a toll on me.
Author stoneymirror Posted November 17, 2009 Author Posted November 17, 2009 Am I happy, NO not at all. Just hate thinking of giving up on something that could be great. Cause when things are good they're great, unfortunately the negatives are now out weighing the positives. I hate this, and I hate admitting to the idea this won't work out, but maybe it's just something I need to accept and let her go.
sara82 Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 Ok i need for you to wrap your head around this for a minute There's gotta be give and take in a relationship. You write about morphing yourself due to her constant complaints and weird anger issues, and I'm definately all about changing yourself into being a better person, and I know people can change when in a long term relationship...but what about HER!!!! Has she changed???? has she come to you and decided to better the relationship between the two of you by working on her "closed off" personality, and the fact she shuts down, and stopping the constant critizisms of you??? It's has to be a 2 way street She's made your confidence fade away to nothing in the span of a year. Your better than this!!! Why are you hesitant in calling off a relationship that is making you unhappy, just in the hopes it MIGHT get better. If it hasnt improved in a year...it isnt going too
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