Divorce or Separation: Pushing Someone Towards Crossroads of Life and Death

[aatayyab]

No sanity in this world can justify a crime as horrible as a murder of someone whom one used to claim as loving "once upon a time". Fighting that inner devil inside who is badly severed by someone you loved, is probably the hardest thing to do on earth. Why are someone's loved ones at the biggest risk at being murdered by the very person that claims to love them? Probably the most frequent example of such crimes is the usual breakups, heartaches and divorces. It is a very difficult topic to understand in Western societies but in Eastern societies, it is the most frequent thing to happen. People will kill their own loved ones especially sisters, wives or daughters due to honor of the whole family being violated by some indecent acts with an outsider. Even in western societies, there are usually events where a jealous husband or an Ex will come forth to commit a horrible crime against his own loved one. That is "not" a human act, it is an animal instinct. Biologically, psychologically and naturally, the same love that protects their own loved one can turn into a hatred which nobody could fathom.

 

Unfortunately, even the most educated and the most nurtured ones would indulge into an act as terrible as a murder or violence. All of us have our own lives to live and nobody has any right towards our life except that however we want that to be. But unfortunately, we do so easily say to anyone "I love you" without knowing the deep incision that single word could have caused in the other person's mind and the whole being. That person might be loving everyone else but might have not been loved back like he always deserved. But when you'd say "I love you" to that person and then do some "stuff" to them to show that you mean them, then that person will become "too much" attached with you. That attachment is the most dangerous element that can happen. Cause the same person who'd attach with you and you'd give that person your money, life, love, anything imaginable and make him used to yourself. And when later, due to any reason, logical to your own self, when you'd decide to take yourself out of that person's life, that particular person could violently react. That violent reaction can't necessarily mean that that person started hating you but that could very possibly mean that every single moment of his life has become so much dependent on you that it'd be impossible for that person to imagine a life without you. So, he'd prefer death for himself and yourself over a life being separated.

 

In the western society, those breakups start happening at a very young age i.e. Teenage when no kids, house, money, career, etc., are involved and usually a quick get over, move on and normal life can resume after that little "pause". However, in the Eastern societies, people wait until 25 or 30 years of age by remaining virgins and wanting a life-partner instead of just a girl-friend. Now it is so easy to generalize this article being written only about "murderous" divorcees or separated loved ones. That is not the case and although I don't need to defend anything here, but still I'm very much disturbed by those violent acts committed by men and women out there in the name of separation or divorce.

 

The most stupid thing that we do in our pursuit of protecting ourselves and kids is that we'd run towards Police, courts and security measures to ensure our own safety from that dangerous Ex-husband or Ex-wife of ours. That can so easily anger and inflame that person who is already hurt due to such a mishap in thier lives. It is very difficult to communicate the logics, reasons and trying to calm the person who thinks he or she has been wronged. This is the most delicate moment in the life of both persons. One needs to move on and the other one needs to know his or her own problems, issues or recognize that they were not a match at all. Hence, the most important, critical and probably a life-saver thing is the "communication" between two even after such a divorce or separation. The absence of such a communication is obviously going to invite the happening of those acts which even our wildest dreams could not imagine as possible. Someone asked a wise person where did you get that much wisdom? He answered he got is from fools cause whatever those fools would do, he won't do them, hence he became the wisest person on earth.

 

So, hopefully any of you who are either saying "I love you" to someone right now, or trying to recover from a tragedy like separation or divorce, the most important thing is continuous communication and slowly phasing them out of your lives. Any quick get over, move on and "affair" could simply ignite that flame which is on top of the kind of ammunition that'd turn everything into a nightmare not only for the victims but for the whole world via newspaper or TV reporting. Hopefully these words of mine will help "avert" a single tragedy out there from happening and that these words will find a listening ear.

 

And lastly, finally and probably the most important thing for anyone trying to recover from that wound caused by a "I love you", you must realize that love is not something that just happens. That could be anything but love. Cause true love never leaves you and even if it does due to any stupid reasons, it never ever wants any harm to be done to you. A true love could never ever even think of leaving you. Hence whoever left you was never the person who loved you truly. That person might have needed a temporary shelter, get over, or moving on, but you were never their destiny. Those poor souls might themselves be nomad travelers of life, trying to take revenge of someone stupid leaving them from poor souls like yourself who were so very much true, sincere and loyal. They were probably using you just as a rebound, but they never loved you. True love does not just happen and vanish just like that. It always stays in the air, never ever going away even after you took your last breath.

 

Amir