transamb0y Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 is it ok to ask your friends who she (and does not like most of them) met through you not to talk to your ex? i am not trying to be mean, but i would prefer they don't as to not put her back in my head after all the hurt she has caused and i am nc right now. she is also trying to start stuff by going to a friends party (who she does not like) and see what kind of reaction she gets bc no one will contact her, but i know she is or might try to contact them.
Author transamb0y Posted November 17, 2009 Author Posted November 17, 2009 she has also told one of my friends that she is hurt that i don't talk to her and that i am going way out of my way to avoid and not talk to her. I do wonder why she wants to talk to me so bad. also she is the one who broke it off.
GrayClouds Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 She is feeling bad for the break up and looking to be friends with you to feel better. No do get your friends in the middle of it, but it is ok to tell them you really do not want have conversation that includes you ex as a topic because your working to move on from the relationship. Tell your friends the same thing when the ask you why your not talking to her, it not that your trying to be mean to her but taking care of yourself.
CaliGuy Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 is it ok to ask your friends who she (and does not like most of them) met through you not to talk to your ex? i am not trying to be mean, but i would prefer they don't as to not put her back in my head after all the hurt she has caused and i am nc right now. she is also trying to start stuff by going to a friends party (who she does not like) and see what kind of reaction she gets bc no one will contact her, but i know she is or might try to contact them. You could do that, but you will alienate your friends. As your friend, they should be sensitive to your feelings on that subject, but don't expect them to be 100% quiet about your ex. In this case, I think it's better to focus on friends who don't know or talk to your ex. You have a right to not hear about her, but by setting that boundary you can possibly distance yourself from your mutual friends. That may not be a bad idea, really.
trueblue72ny Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 I agree with the other posters. focus on your friends that have no connection to her and dont get your other friends in the middle of anything. it will make life easier for everyone. Than your other friends won’t feel like they have to tip toe around you. if they bring her up, tell them you don’t want to know. Which is your best bet anyway if you are really moving on. I think its funny she is acting hurt by your choice to go no contact and move on with your life. She has No Rights to be acting hurt. she made her decision. you made yours. if she is mad because you are not playing by her expectations anymore - owell.
Ody Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 is it ok to ask your friends who she (and does not like most of them) met through you not to talk to your ex? No, nor will it help. Adults can, will and (generally) should do as they please. The good friends should be able to handle it well with your feelings in mind. Maybe a few rare exceptions, deep lifelong friends of yours who barely know her and to whom your healing should be a big priority. But this does not sound like the case here.
Author transamb0y Posted November 19, 2009 Author Posted November 19, 2009 (edited) thanks guys i have told my friends that i dont mind them talking to her but some have decided not to contact her and one even told her straight up that she can't hang out with her bc she is my friend first. thanks for all the advice and more is welcome if you got it. one of my friends said the next time she mentions me not talking to her they will ask what did you expect to happen. owell. thanks again all your guidence makes it easier to move on. Edited November 19, 2009 by transamb0y
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