mogul Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 I met a girl this past Friday on a night out with friends. I noticed her and how she was rejecting other guys and staying within her circle of friends at the club. I approached her and had a short convo before we left to a different area to talk for a short while. We danced, talked briefly and exchanged contact info. After, I was leaving with friends and on our way to get food I get a text from her saying how it was nice to meet me followed by my name. I respond and didnt get a response until the following morning. It was a strange message which I did not respond to. I gave it a few days without contact and texted her tonight for small talk. She replied but kept it short or one worded and did not seem to want it to keep going. I asked if she used a popular networking site to which she responded yes with her full name to find her and a smiley face. -Does this seem like she is just being nice or what? She was the first to make contact right away. The responses that I got from her during texting were offputing yet she gave me the info to add her and seemed happy about it. Where do you think she stands on this or if this is worth even giving a follow up call?
DustySaltus Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 I am a firm believer that the more you text earlier on when meeting a girl, you are setting yourself up for communication problems later. You have to keep it simple. As soon as you heard the change in the "tone" of her texts, you wait a day or so and give her a call. Then you ask her out.....as simple as that. Put her on the spot. You'll have your answer soon enough. Texting and "friending" are express lanes to the friend zone.
Author mogul Posted November 17, 2009 Author Posted November 17, 2009 Just a question, would women initiate contact with someone just to be friends or is that like extending an olive branch for something more? Could it be she just didnt like texting and was expecting me to call? I would usually call but due to my busy schedule that was all I had time for.
BCCA Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 I am a firm believer that the more you text earlier on when meeting a girl, you are setting yourself up for communication problems later. You have to keep it simple. As soon as you heard the change in the "tone" of her texts, you wait a day or so and give her a call. Then you ask her out.....as simple as that. Put her on the spot. You'll have your answer soon enough. Solid advice. Too much too soon usually spells doom for attraction. The last thing you want a girl thinking is that all you have to do is text her. Short answers are usually a bad sign. Just a question, would women initiate contact with someone just to be friends or is that like extending an olive branch for something more? Both. She could be genuinely interested, or she could like knowing that you are. Could it be she just didnt like texting and was expecting me to call? Who knows, but stop with the texting and just call and ask her out.
Kamille Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 Dustysaltus has a great handle on this. Don't spend too much time trying to 'friend' this girl. You want to know if she's interested? Ask her out on a date. I would usually call but due to my busy schedule that was all I had time for. I don't get how texting would take up less of your time then calling. I have more and more friends who are avid texters who say the same thing: it saves time. Really? I hate having the text back and forth about 'shall we meet?' 'how about x place at 4' ' can't do, how about y place at 6'. By texts, it takes 10 minutes to set up an appointment. By phone, it takes three.
Author mogul Posted November 18, 2009 Author Posted November 18, 2009 Thanks for all the input. I'm just confused where its unusual for a woman to make first contact, but then she seems cold during text as in short responses and uninterested. However, when i ask to friend her she gives me all her info and seems happy about it with happy face and exclamation. Also, would she of left her group at the club if she was uninterested? Would it be she was interested or attracted to me enough to give info and initiate contact and just wants me to call her and would be fine or just being nice? thanks again...
jerseyboy Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 OMG IM convinced the government is dumping estrogen into the drinking water
dave22 Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 Thanks for all the input. I'm just confused where its unusual for a woman to make first contact, but then she seems cold during text as in short responses and uninterested. However, when i ask to friend her she gives me all her info and seems happy about it with happy face and exclamation. I wouldn't read too much into the length of a text. You really just have to talk to her before you can have an idea about how she really feels. Like others have said here - call her!!!
DustySaltus Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 Mogul, your next post on this board should be an UPDATE of what happened after you CALL HER!!! 6 different people told you the exact same thing, DO IT! MAN UP ALREADY, you had enough chutzpah to go talk to her after she was shooting down guys left and right....get the swagger back already..geez
Kamille Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 Okay, I will answer your question. Sounds to me like you want us to tell you: YES, if she gave you her contact information, she is most likely interested. Texts are an unreliable way to gage interest or even if someone was 'cold'. You don't know the girl and her texting style. Now stop overanalyzing and ask her out already.
New Again Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 Probably she's not into texting, but is interested. As everyone else already said. Also, many women I know really hate when guys text them instead of calling them early on in the dating game. Some will automatically not date a guy who can't be bothered to call.
Author mogul Posted November 19, 2009 Author Posted November 19, 2009 I made the call and left a short message, no response. I'm assuming thats the end of that. In retrospect, I should of given her a call instead of texting here and there. No doubt would of gone completely different. Not taking this whole thing too seriously, the weekend is near. It would be nice to somehow get to talk to her(but don't know how after she doesnt pick up) as she is a refreshing change compared to my recent string of dates/ super high maintenance women. Usually a woman that doesnt pick up isnt interested? Where can I go from here or is it just done? Thanks for all the input...
Phateless Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 I met a girl this past Friday on a night out with friends. I noticed her and how she was rejecting other guys and staying within her circle of friends at the club. I approached her and had a short convo before we left to a different area to talk for a short while. We danced, talked briefly and exchanged contact info. After, I was leaving with friends and on our way to get food I get a text from her saying how it was nice to meet me followed by my name. I respond and didnt get a response until the following morning. It was a strange message which I did not respond to. I gave it a few days without contact and texted her tonight for small talk. She replied but kept it short or one worded and did not seem to want it to keep going. I asked if she used a popular networking site to which she responded yes with her full name to find her and a smiley face. -Does this seem like she is just being nice or what? She was the first to make contact right away. The responses that I got from her during texting were offputing yet she gave me the info to add her and seemed happy about it. Where do you think she stands on this or if this is worth even giving a follow up call? She's interested, but she was probably just busy at the time, or possibly trying not to be too available or forward. Definitely schedule a date. Second-guessing yourself is unattractive. She would not have gone out of her way to initiate texting if she wasn't interested. Hot girls out with friends don't behave like this with a guy they just met and want to become their friend. She likes you. Now sack up and do something about it!! Balls to the wall, bro. What do you have to lose??
OceanTropic Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 I think she is interested, but doesn't want to seem desperate. She probably knows men don't like emotional stories and full out detailed texts. She is trying to make it simple, by keeping her texts simple, and not replying right away. Besides, maybe she went out. She is interested. When I go out, I don't give out my number unless I like the guy. The fact that she rejected everyone else tells me that she genuinely likes you, especially since she was appreciative of meeting you and told you right away. She isn't picking up cuz maybe she wants you to wait. Think about it, men are very similar. They don't call right away (or call back right away) cuz they like to work the girl up, so that when they DO call, you are more excited to hear from her. She doesn't wanna seem easy especially since you got her info easily. Don't think too much about it. Keep it nice and friendly, and if she cuts things short, do it too, don't keep texting her for a response. Then after a day or two msg her again and ask her how she's doing. I think you have a shot, cuz she sounds exactly like me, and I dont give my contact info out unless I am interested.
and.then.some Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 Why did you wait to respond to her text? If any game playing took place, I'm inclined to believe that's the moment it occurred. I can't speak for her, of course, and I agree that you should just call and ask her out. However, as a woman, if I went through the trouble of making first contact, I would feel a little brushed off if a guy took a few days to get back to me. And, yes, I would probably be a little short or uninterested by that point. As for social networking sites, many people have 500+ friends, and one more is just another gold star on their profile. Others are very particular about who they "friend". So, I would say that depends on the individual and how she uses such sites. Giver her a call, ask her out, and see how things go.
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