Camokiss Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 Hello all.... I would love to have some Advice on my marriage... H and I have been married for 3 years and we have 2 babies together... We have had our ups and downs but we loved each other... We have been going to a really bad marriage counselor for a while ( she actually told us to live "secret lives"...."what ur spouse doesn't know won't hurt them") it did take a while for us to see that she was a nut case (I've been dignosed with prenatal depression at the time and I thought that I should believe her bc she was a professinal).... Our marriage was OK during the sessions... We even laughed about it... But I left the state for a few days to visit family and left H at home. Durning my visit he said that he didn't want the kids and I back yet bc he enjoyed hanging out with his friends w/o us around... Which was weird bc I NEVER stopped him from hanging with friends... I had that gut feeling... So I logged onto his email (he gave me the password a while ago).... I thought I would just find porn and stuff Like that (which I have no problem with porn).... But I found out that he was on at least 5 dating websites and emailing one girl. I also found out that he has been sending naked pics of me to 100s of different people.... I called him and told him how hurt and upset I was.... After 3 weeks I moved back in with my H.... We have been seeing a different (and waaaaaaay better) counselor. He said that something was "missing" from our relationship before and he wants to better himself and better our marriage. Our counselor says it could happen... And I kinda believe it BUT it's very hard to deal with all this.... He said that he never had sex or even met those women.... He just wanted to have a conversation with women to make himself feel "hot" and he wanted naked pics....I'm really hurt...What if I never found his dating accounts and my pics???? When would it have ended??? And how??? How should I deal with all of this?
angie2443 Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 Is this for real?? Honestly, I'd be kind of scared of my husband if he sent all those pictures. He sounds a bit creepy and like he has mental problems. Has the MC commented on any of your husband's behavior?
TinyLee222 Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 Are you freakin serious? OMG, what a horrible invasion of your privacy. Your husband has no respect for you. Before your husband deletes everything get on that computer and copy every single e-mail or else forward the emails to a trusted friend if you dont have time. If you cannot copy all the pictures at least copy the headers to see where the hell he has been sending these pictures. You might need this information later on in a divorce proceeding. Do you want to be married to someone like this? Get your ducks in order and contact a lawyer. Do not tell him you are doing this. Unless of course you think you can sleep in the same bed as your husband and wonder why on earth would he disrespect you like this. I am so sorry you deserve better. Lee
EmmaLou Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 Bless you... He sounds horrible. Sorry you had to find all that... Firstly by saying he doesn't want you to come back for a while... He should be missing you and eagerly awaiting your return. From now you'll always be wondering if he really likes you being around, and wondering what he's up to when you're out, and if he's trying to get you to go out somewhere so he can be alone.. He has no respect for you by sending photos of you out. Those pictures are private and for you two to enjoy only. And the dating websites... I'm also shocked at your consellor! People go to them when they're fragile and in need of advice, it sounds like he/she was maybe living a sinful life themselves and were justifying it. What is your sex life like?
mybrowneyedgirl Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 I'm normally not the tough love type, but this is absurd. I would seek legal action against him immediately!
Author Camokiss Posted November 17, 2009 Author Posted November 17, 2009 When I first saw the pictures and emails I copied ALL of them and even sent them to different locations....just in case.... Our sex life wasn't that great... I LOVE sex.... And I tried to have sex with him at least once a day... But he always said "not tonight.. I'm to fat to have sex with you" ( as in he is too fat for me...not calling me fat)... And he's not even big! I did everything for him! I was always there for him... I am deeply hurt... But he said that he wants to change.... And he is going to a new MC with me twice a week now... If he is seeking help do u think that I should keep trying to stay with him? I know it sounds dumb but I have never dealt with this before.... He started doing all of that when we started seeing that bad MC.
stampdaddy Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 can I give you my email address?? just kidding, hope you smile..... what a jerk. Send me HIS email address and I will pour on a cyber ass whoopin
Love2love7 Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 can I give you my email address?? just kidding, hope you smile..... what a jerk. Send me HIS email address and I will pour on a cyber ass whoopin LOL great!
1Angel Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 Isn't sending naked pix of someone without consent illegal? Sorry you are going through this. What a jerk!
El Ben Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 Listen sweetie, that marriage is over. It's over. He doesn't see it as a marriage. Doesn't view you as a lover and partner. If he could, he would pimp you out to other men. How is it possible you're even considering counselling with this person? What do you possibly have to gain? Why do you want to be with him?? Walk away.
jerseyboy Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 Sending these pics to who and where does he know them from?
whattodonow12 Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 I agree that you need to get out. Looking at porn is one thing, but to start sending pics of YOU is way out there.
Woman In Blue Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 He started doing all of that when we started seeing that bad MC. Camo, please don't start blaming his completely unacceptable and revolting behavior on a bad therapist. The man is not 10 years old with the inability to know any better. He's a grown adult who knows exactly what he's doing. The first thing you need to do is STOP making excuses for him. Secondly, it's completely obvious that this man has zero respect for YOU, zero respect for your CHILDREN, and zero respect for your MARRIAGE. What kind of a so-called man emails a bunch of perverts on the internet intensely private pictures of the woman who bore his children for him? What kind of a man DOES that? One with NO boundaries, that's who. One whose so busy thinking with his genitals that he's willing to put YOUR SAFETY at risk by passing naked pictures of you around to complete strangers - some of whom might be predators or sex offenders! For all you know, some of these perverts might live 5 miles away in the next town! What the hell is WRONG with your husband??? I won't even address the dating site issues because this guy is just too pathetic. He's just another pitiful married jackass trolling a dating site hoping to scam an innocent woman into thinking he's single. What a guy. Camo, if you want to try to reconcile with some pervert who has so little regard for you as a person that he didn't even think TWICE about gambling with yours and your children's safety, then more power to you. I personally couldn't imagine compromising my values like that just to keep this loser in my life. There comes a time in your life when you either have to fish or cut bait. Cut the bait.
TinyLee222 Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 Camo, please don't start blaming his completely unacceptable and revolting behavior on a bad therapist. The man is not 10 years old with the inability to know any better. He's a grown adult who knows exactly what he's doing. The first thing you need to do is STOP making excuses for him. Secondly, it's completely obvious that this man has zero respect for YOU, zero respect for your CHILDREN, and zero respect for your MARRIAGE. What kind of a so-called man emails a bunch of perverts on the internet intensely private pictures of the woman who bore his children for him? What kind of a man DOES that? One with NO boundaries, that's who. One whose so busy thinking with his genitals that he's willing to put YOUR SAFETY at risk by passing naked pictures of you around to complete strangers - some of whom might be predators or sex offenders! For all you know, some of these perverts might live 5 miles away in the next town! What the hell is WRONG with your husband??? I won't even address the dating site issues because this guy is just too pathetic. He's just another pitiful married jackass trolling a dating site hoping to scam an innocent woman into thinking he's single. What a guy. Camo, if you want to try to reconcile with some pervert who has so little regard for you as a person that he didn't even think TWICE about gambling with yours and your children's safety, then more power to you. I personally couldn't imagine compromising my values like that just to keep this loser in my life. There comes a time in your life when you either have to fish or cut bait. Cut the bait. Wow, excellent post
WalkInThePark Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 Hello all.... I would love to have some Advice on my marriage... H and I have been married for 3 years and we have 2 babies together... We have had our ups and downs but we loved each other... We have been going to a really bad marriage counselor for a while ( she actually told us to live "secret lives"...."what ur spouse doesn't know won't hurt them") it did take a while for us to see that she was a nut case (I've been dignosed with prenatal depression at the time and I thought that I should believe her bc she was a professinal).... Our marriage was OK during the sessions... We even laughed about it... But I left the state for a few days to visit family and left H at home. Durning my visit he said that he didn't want the kids and I back yet bc he enjoyed hanging out with his friends w/o us around... Which was weird bc I NEVER stopped him from hanging with friends... I had that gut feeling... So I logged onto his email (he gave me the password a while ago).... I thought I would just find porn and stuff Like that (which I have no problem with porn).... But I found out that he was on at least 5 dating websites and emailing one girl. I also found out that he has been sending naked pics of me to 100s of different people.... I called him and told him how hurt and upset I was.... After 3 weeks I moved back in with my H.... We have been seeing a different (and waaaaaaay better) counselor. He said that something was "missing" from our relationship before and he wants to better himself and better our marriage. Our counselor says it could happen... And I kinda believe it BUT it's very hard to deal with all this.... He said that he never had sex or even met those women.... He just wanted to have a conversation with women to make himself feel "hot" and he wanted naked pics....I'm really hurt...What if I never found his dating accounts and my pics???? When would it have ended??? And how??? How should I deal with all of this? This is totally crazy. It would be bad enough if he was sending naked pictures of himself but of his wife??? I would immediately leave him. This man sounds so disturbed that I fear there is no cure.
Author Camokiss Posted November 21, 2009 Author Posted November 21, 2009 Thanks to everyone that offered advice.... It's very easy to say I'm going to leave him and to act like I know it's the right thing to do.... But is it wrong that I wanna stay??? I know if I were reading this post I would reply that I was crazy..... But both sides of our family want us to try and work things out and he "says" he wants too as well.... His family is coming down this week to talk to him about "being a man" and about"life". I know I should leave..... But it's easier to say than do.... Thanks for the support :-). Pray that I am strong enough to do the right thing
whichwayisup Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 If he is willing to change and work on himself, not just say he's sorry and wants to work on things, then why not give him another chance? Both of you go to marriage counselling, he also should go on his own too..Obviously he has issues to sort out about himself..Stuff that has nothing to do with you.
Devil Inside Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 Thanks to everyone that offered advice.... It's very easy to say I'm going to leave him and to act like I know it's the right thing to do.... But is it wrong that I wanna stay??? I know if I were reading this post I would reply that I was crazy..... But both sides of our family want us to try and work things out and he "says" he wants too as well.... His family is coming down this week to talk to him about "being a man" and about"life". I know I should leave..... But it's easier to say than do.... Thanks for the support :-). Pray that I am strong enough to do the right thing Wow Camo...that is heart breaking to read. He has really betrayed your trust in many ways. I know that you know what the right thing is...and I will be thinking of you.
Author Camokiss Posted November 21, 2009 Author Posted November 21, 2009 I do not know the people he sent my pictures to.... He said that he found most of the email addresses on dating websites and I guess it went from there... Some of the emails said "my wife for your wife" and it would have a picture of me naked.... That's it. Then alot of replies that came back said things like "she's hott... Send more".... And he did.
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