wondering_girl Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 after his request for some time apart, he sends me a message saying addressing issues that i had brought up and asks "where do we go from here" is the ball in my court?
Author wondering_girl Posted November 17, 2009 Author Posted November 17, 2009 hey 9 lives, we were together for 4 1/2 years had communication issues that's blown up he asked for some time and i was like fine and now he addresses the issues and says i'm tired of us being like this then says where do we go from here? i thought by the time he came around i had an answer...... i still care for him though.
Confused728 Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 how long have you been broken up? where you in NC an dif so for how long? Why did he need time?
Author wondering_girl Posted November 17, 2009 Author Posted November 17, 2009 no one broke up like officially i guess - we just didn't talk to each other anymore and we had major communication issues needed time to sort that out - he shuts down on me which is what i pointed out, NC is about a month and a half... thank you guys for listening..
Ms. Joolie Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 after his request for some time apart, he sends me a message saying addressing issues that i had brought up and asks "where do we go from here" is the ball in my court? Yes. Think carefully before proceeding. My ex's last email to me was addressing a few issues. He still cared for me and ended by saying, "What that leaves us exactly I don't know..." and then said something about seeing me. Whatever. What is it with guys that leaves them so wishy washy? And I see it in that message from you ex. I was insulted actually, and I shot an email back saying let's just leave the past behind us. blah blah blah. Haven't heard from him since. I guess I'm expecting the guy to show more interest. I can't expect MY ex to show more interest after all these years of on and off... he pretty much feels like I do, as in this has to stop. I just can't stand that attitude coming from your ex. What's his excuse for being so lukewarm about it? ugh. You've been so kind to him all along it seems. I'd get upset, and I'd dump him. lol. But I KNOW you love him.... I know! Not easy, right? And I'm sorry for sounding so mean, but I couldn't stand that, on TOP of his communication issues? Sheesh. Okay. Mini rant over. Sorry, wondering girl. You are just so patient with him!!!! LOL
2sunny Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 no one broke up like officially i guess - we just didn't talk to each other anymore and we had major communication issues needed time to sort that out - he shuts down on me which is what i pointed out, NC is about a month and a half... thank you guys for listening.. what action has he taken to improve the relationship so it can go forward? mere words are meaningless, as things will just resume to the way they were before if you both haven't done work to grow - and to be sure that improvement in communication will happen once you are together again. what action has been made for things to be better or different? you need answers... if there are no solid answers - then don't bother making the effort because things will most likely stay the same as before.
Author wondering_girl Posted November 17, 2009 Author Posted November 17, 2009 hi ms. joolie - how are you? thanks for responding, no you're not mean - lol. he's like i'm tired of being mad, it's getting old, i cannot believe i asked myself many times how we have come to this situation we're in now... ugh, it was because you didn't talk. it's like ok, if you were willing to talk a week after the issue, we would've never have gone through all this ya know....yes, all my friends are like you are soooooooo patient with him and of all these years, that is the magic in the recipe of our relationship and this is who he is, he even said, you should know me by now if i'm not ready, i'm not. blah, blah, so upfront i know that if i dive in there again, this is a potential situation again, and like he said i keep things bottled up inside and sometimes i just blow up about petty things....... yes, i do LOVE him and we've been together for a long time, he was my best friend, all this and that.. if i do come back i really really need to not mold into him again, that's my mistake and i lost myself...... it's like he asked for time apart and when i give it to him he's now asking where do we go from here? do we put this in the past and rebuild our relationship or what...... but ya know, i never gave up on him. never giving up is that real love, my patience is that real love because if it's not i don't know what is.......with us, we were not on and off - this has been the longest disagreement ever. how have things been going on for you?
Ms. Joolie Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 if i do come back i really really need to not mold into him again, that's my mistake and i lost myself...... Wow, this is a great realization you have made. I think in both our cases, this time apart has really highlighted the relationship issues and helped us see where we were at fault. I think the ball is in your court, and you can take the relationship in the direction that you want it to go from here. It sounds as if you prefer to keep the relationship instead of breaking it off due to his personal shortcomings. I mean, that's great, if that's what you want to do. Perhaps you can ask to see him again, just to see him again, not even to talk much! How do you feel about that? As for myself, thank you for asking, because I am at a new point I think. I've realized that my ex has always come back to me, several times, after I broke it off. He said he would contact me again in December, yet I can't just expect this, can I? Especially after my most sincere attempt to break it off this last time. sigh. So I can' just 'hope' that he's coming back again. Guess it sounds weird that he always comes back to me... lol. But he is very patient like you and in previous times he's wanted our relationship, and has chosen our relationship in spite of my shortcomings. sigh. Best wishes to you, wonder girl. I love that you're so patient. If I were in your shoes, I would definitely ask to see him again and just see where the relationship goes from there. Your not giving up on him, so might as well see him again if you can.
mickleb Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 wondering - That's me. That's how I feel. I am wondering why you think this is all you're worth. It sounds to me as though you'd forgive him and take him back no matter what he offered you. And it sounds to me that you KNOW you shouldn't (you have mentioned he was pretty rubbish when you were together and you must know this is as flaky as ever) but you can't help it. And so I wish I knew why. Why is this useless excuse for a man the only one you have eyes for? x
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