USMCHokie Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 So I thought I was doing well, like many of you all feel after a couple months of NC, but after coming home today from dinner, it just hit me like a tidal wave...it was the terrible feeling that after all we had been through and everything she felt for me, how easily she can just forget that I exist... I honestly don't know what she's doing or thinking right now, so I don't even know if she's forgotten about me, but I can't help but think that I don't even register a thought in her head anymore...did I and the relationship itself mean so little to her that I could be forgotten like a bad first date...?
nobleguy Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 I find the lows hit me as soon as I think 'Hey, I don't feel too bad today...'. It's like I remember that I should be miserable and so I fall back into it. I want my beautiful woman back and there's nothing I can do about it. And even if she did come back, we are too broken to make it work .
ditched Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 So I thought I was doing well, like many of you all feel after a couple months of NC, but after coming home today from dinner, it just hit me like a tidal wave...it was the terrible feeling that after all we had been through and everything she felt for me, how easily she can just forget that I exist... I honestly don't know what she's doing or thinking right now, so I don't even know if she's forgotten about me, but I can't help but think that I don't even register a thought in her head anymore...did I and the relationship itself mean so little to her that I could be forgotten like a bad first date...? This is word for word, exactly how i feel. The NC is killing me, along with the notion that something that was so special to me, could be so insignificant to her. but i know that the last two times i broke NC, i felt worse afterwards. So I just gotta stick to it. Its just weird how you think you're doing better, when suddenly the most miniscule thought leads to some painful memory. its like : Change = Toll Booth = Highway = Road trip = Our road trip to Vermont = pulling over to makeout on that weird bridge in the woods = me beating myself up that ill ever find anyone that awesome again. haha. But its like that entire chain of thoughts occurs in a split second, before i can even stop it. ugh.
Thebob Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 This is word for word, exactly how i feel. The NC is killing me, along with the notion that something that was so special to me, could be so insignificant to her. but i know that the last two times i broke NC, i felt worse afterwards. So I just gotta stick to it. Its just weird how you think you're doing better, when suddenly the most miniscule thought leads to some painful memory. its like : Change = Toll Booth = Highway = Road trip = Our road trip to Vermont = pulling over to makeout on that weird bridge in the woods = me beating myself up that ill ever find anyone that awesome again. haha. But its like that entire chain of thoughts occurs in a split second, before i can even stop it. ugh. That is probably the best description that I have seen on this site on how my mind works everyday. When one person says something about Jet-Ski's, or if a song that was sentimental to me plays, or if someone brings up the chain of islands she lives on, all my thoughts and emotions come flying out of my window and I get sad and lonely that I won't ever find someone again. Then for her to date someone officially in under 2 months when she said she didn't want someone for over a year and wants to live the single life, it's like a dagger. I thought we had something special but she obviously never did and it hurts still after 2 months of and 10 days of NC. If I ever see her again I want to give her that second opportunity, but I feel things might be to broken and I might be to hurt in order for that to happen. I really wish I could get this girl out of my head but for some reason I fuggin cant. Thebob
sean1970 Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 Its just weird how you think you're doing better, when suddenly the most miniscule thought leads to some painful memory. its like : Change = Toll Booth = Highway = Road trip = Our road trip to Vermont = pulling over to makeout on that weird bridge in the woods = me beating myself up that ill ever find anyone that awesome again. haha. But its like that entire chain of thoughts occurs in a split second, before i can even stop it. ugh. Must be contagious. I was 'good' yesterday but I broke down driving to work listening to sports radio (of all things) today... Live in MI = MI vs Ohio State week = She's from Ohio but graduated MI = We always had fun going back and forth with her people in OH about the game. Had to turn the radio station, just could not handle it... This coupled with the news that she is dating someone now. Since F**king July... NC for 36 days... I'm not usually a praying man but these days it is usually "God I want her back" or "God, please help me get over her"
stace79 Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 You guys are not the only ones. I HATE all my memories. I have shoved away everything I possibly can into drawers and closets that might remind me of him. But my parents who I currently live with have hung a beautiful beach picture on the wall that he bought for me for my birthday, so I get to look at that every darn day. Or songs he sent me play on my iPod during the day, or somebody mentions going to the beach and I start remembering our Memorial Day trip when he proposed. Or the worst was watching a TV show when this guy and girl were cuddling and I remember how much I loved about cuddling with him. Little things only HE did -- no other guy I ever dated did these things. It's infuriating. And I also get angry that apparently I meant so little that he can just limit contact with me and refuse to see me again and he looks forward to meeting new people. Are you serious??? Anyway I don't know why it happens, but we just have to work through it. You guys seem like decent people so I just know there's a real nice girl out there for you and your feelings will be mutual...
Thebob Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 You guys are not the only ones. I HATE all my memories. I have shoved away everything I possibly can into drawers and closets that might remind me of him. But my parents who I currently live with have hung a beautiful beach picture on the wall that he bought for me for my birthday, so I get to look at that every darn day. Or songs he sent me play on my iPod during the day, or somebody mentions going to the beach and I start remembering our Memorial Day trip when he proposed. Or the worst was watching a TV show when this guy and girl were cuddling and I remember how much I loved about cuddling with him. Little things only HE did -- no other guy I ever dated did these things. It's infuriating. And I also get angry that apparently I meant so little that he can just limit contact with me and refuse to see me again and he looks forward to meeting new people. Are you serious??? Anyway I don't know why it happens, but we just have to work through it. You guys seem like decent people so I just know there's a real nice girl out there for you and your feelings will be mutual... God I only hope, I honestly want to give all my heart to one girl and that is it. Someone who I think is beautiful and treats me the way I treat them. One day, one day, I hope this will happen again. I don't want to be a pick up artist and hook up with random girls, i want to find that right girl and move on with her. Pickin up and stuff like that is childish, and it doesn't mean anything to you. I realllly hope that God has a path for me and hopefully I collide with a girl soon on that path. Thebob
Author USMCHokie Posted November 17, 2009 Author Posted November 17, 2009 The NC is killing me, along with the notion that something that was so special to me, could be so insignificant to her. Well, it's not just that it was something so special to me, but also something so special to her...I 100% know that it was real for her...her parents who she's living with knew...all her friends knew...and I knew that she knew...but I understand now that sometimes love just isn't enough...life sometimes gets in the way... So the relationship was very significant to her...perhaps even more significant than it was to me, but a couple months after the breakup, she has either tucked it away somewhere or just let it fall by the wayside, never to be thought about again...and that's what hurts the most...that something so special could be forgotten so easily...it certainly makes you question how she felt during the relationship...even the good times... Its just weird how you think you're doing better, when suddenly the most miniscule thought leads to some painful memory. But its like that entire chain of thoughts occurs in a split second, before i can even stop it. ugh. I don't think it's necessarily the memories that are painful...but the fact that you won't be able to make new ones with her that hurts the most...I don't think I have a single bad memory of my ex...they were all great...and yes, I still reminisce from time to time, and it does have a calming effect...hopeful that one day i'll be able to create good memories with someone else...
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