floods88 Posted November 16, 2009 Posted November 16, 2009 i have been a complete and utter WRECK for nearly 3 weeks now and i woke up today (the first nights sleep where i didnt dream about him) and i thought to myself, why am i doing this to myself? i am literally getting ill from it and for what? i think i accepted today that he doesnt want to come back. and although its still early days in the healing process, i think this was a massive turning point for me. i admit that i will probably fall into the sadness again and miss him and want him back, but i realized, its normal to be feeling this after 3 years in a relationship. but at the end of the day, his actions have shown me that he just doesnt want me in his life anymore. he is making an effort to move on. he is going out every night, drinking everyday and rather than take this as a sign that he isnt handling it well and that he will come back, ive come to the realization that hes doing this because he is a selfish person who would rather ignore everything what is going on and take the easy way out of the guilt he is feeling for treating me that way. someone that truly loved me would not do this. someone that even cared for me a little would not do this. so why should i sit in my room, crying, smoking and looking at my phone when he is out there doing whatever it is that he wants to do?? i am not less of a person than him, and i didnt deserve to be abandoned like that and i certainly dont deserve to be unhappy. so im not doing it anymore. im going to treat myself better. i hope that whoever reads this will do the same... its just REALLY not worth punishing yourself over.
alphamale Posted November 16, 2009 Posted November 16, 2009 im going to treat myself better. i'm glad you're going to do that
wondering_girl Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 hey floods, how are you babe? i'm sorry you're feeling this way, just wanted to let you know i'm in the same boat as you, i was with him for 4 years..... ya know, i caught myself doing that and i was sooo ill especially during the early times, it's been 3 months and i'm not gonna lie, i still cry but sometimes i just let it out then go on about what i'm doing.... like you said, IT HURTS so bad, how can someone just throw away, 3 years 4 years, and i need to stop making excuses for him that he just needs time.. like you said, his actions have shown you to move on, and mine has too, lack of actions meaning taking the initiative to contact and fix things..........he hasn't shown and they continue to show us nothing...... guess they weren't THE ONE i really thought he was, did you think he was? after dating for 3 to 4 years ya know babe, i really thought he was it.
USMCHokie Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 i think i accepted today that he doesnt want to come back. and although its still early days in the healing process, i think this was a massive turning point for me. i admit that i will probably fall into the sadness again and miss him and want him back... I think this is an important step in the healing process...accepting that the relationship is over and the ex won't be coming back...i've brought this up before, but i'll mention it again...i think getting over the relationship and getting over the ex are two separate things...once you've reached acceptance, you may certainly still have feelings for the ex and miss him...perhaps for a really long time...but that's ok, as long as you're not living your life with that hope of a second chance...time will do its magic and the feelings will eventually fade...
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