Roadstrguy Posted November 16, 2009 Posted November 16, 2009 My ex and I were together on and off since 2002. We had a few breaks, the longest being in 2004 when we broke up for a year and a half. We got back together 2006 and stayed together since May of this year. We had an argument one night and said some things to each other.. we ended the relationship then and did not speak for a while. I started LC with her in June since I started to miss her. We spoke a little here and there. We became friendly with each other and I thought things were going smoothly. She told me she was going on vacation Mid July and that she would be back towards the end of July. In an attempt to try to rekindle our love, I send her flowers. That made her really happy. She thought it was sweet. We later made plans to see each other on the first day of August. She came over my apartment and we hung out for a little bit. She had to leave since she had to meet her family for a get together. I ended up calling her after she left asking if we could hang out later. She said seeing me too frequently was not a good idea. I was crushed.. at that point, I started NC. Towards the end of the same month, I visited a bar that we used to frequent. I didn't imagine she would be there that night - but she was, and with a new man. I later found out it was her new boyfriend. I was devastated. She saw me walk in. I took one look at them and left the bar. It was very painful for me.. I continued NC until now. She had sent me a text message in October wishing me a Happy Halloween. I didn't respond. November rolls around and I signed on to my AIM account. She quickly sent me a message which I ignored. I signed off.. A few days later on November 4th, she sent me a text saying that she missed me and that it was ok if I didn't want to talk to her and that she understood. I caved in and responded and asked why she wanted to be friends all of a sudden. We went back and fourth for a while. She said that we needed to catch up, so I suggested we meet not the next but the following Saturday (I was out of town for work) Last week, I texted her a few times with some random jokes and told her I was looking forward to seeing her. She said she was as well. Friday came along and she sent me a text saying she did not think she could meet me and that she enjoyed talking to me but didn't think it was a good idea. I pretended like it was not a big deal but was really hurt that she didn't want to see me. I was anxious about meeting her the entire week. I felt let down by her. I feel like she was playing a game with me, to see if she could still string me along. I'm not sure what to do at this point.. I feel lost. Any advice is would be well appreciated..
DustySaltus Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 I'm sorry to say that she wants to be friends with you to make herself feel less guilty about how things have transpired. Do yourself a favor and STICK to NC. The next time she comes poking around you really need to stick to your guns. Remember NC is to heal yourself. Delete her from your phone, facebook, myspace...etc... You have enough friends already.
Author Roadstrguy Posted November 17, 2009 Author Posted November 17, 2009 Yeah, I guess that's possible.. My guess was that she strung me along to still see if I was interested in her.. I guess a twisted way to boost her ego.. any thoughts on that?
2sunny Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 you feed her ego every time she strings you along. simple as that. stop responding.
paperchase Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 She is playing with your head and you are allowing it. The pattern is very clear. She resurfaces when you go dark just to make sure that you are still pining for her. She didn't need to meet you to find out where your head was because you gave her your response through your actions such as texting her jokes. What the heck is so funny that you want to make chummy with someone who broke your heart and left you for another man? Because your actions showed that a) you missed her and b) you have forgiven her actions, you gave her everything she needed to go away in peace and never look back. As an aside, if your goal was to make her come back to you by using NC, whatever hope you had has now been extinguished due to your eagerness and impatience. This is not to say she would have taken you back: it's most likely that she just wanted friendship or forgiveness to assuage her guilt, but hearing your story highlights why NC is best used to heal. The fact is until you heal you simply don't have the emotional tools to use it any other way, and if you try the tables will be turned against you. Please move on and start the healing process.
jerseyboy Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 Yeah, I guess that's possible.. My guess was that she strung me along to still see if I was interested in her.. I guess a twisted way to boost her ego.. any thoughts on that? You have the answer already
Recommended Posts