Rudderless Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 It kind of puts me off if the guy is bragging like "I earn $200k, and I'm qualified as a surgeon but I quit because I could make more money in property" Not sure what's worse, stating how much he earns, or thinking he's clever for giving up a highly paid and very noble career just to make more money Well it's fairly obvious why you can rule him out. Something tells me he might not be who he says he is anyway. What put you off about the artist?
Author JellyTot Posted November 17, 2009 Author Posted November 17, 2009 Gee thanks for that,your so flattering:rolleyes: Maybe to get women we can trick a few of these women into actually beleiving you can be slighty sort and still atyrractive because obviouasly its an impossiblity accoridng to you Sorry, I didn't mean it in a nasty way. I'm not saying that shorter guys aren't attractive - what I mean is that on an instinctual level women usually find height attractive (without the guy even having to do anything), and as a shorter man you don't have that advantage, so you have to work harder on creating attraction in other ways. What put you off about the artist? The first artist, while he was a bit older and not as successful or handsome, sounded like a genuinely interesting guy. He was interested in a lot of different things and sounded dynamic and fun to be with, and his photos gave the same impression. He sounded like he had plans for his future and had some goals and ambitions (including some fun ambitions that I could imagine sharing). The second artist was younger, hotter, more successful - but he just sounded like a bit of a bore, like life with him would be very slow. He looked very serious in his photos and had posted lots of pics of his art rather than pics of himself. Plus he said he lived with his family (at age 34!) and didn't give any explanation of why (which leads me to assume immaturity). I guess it goes to show that looks and success etc don't always make one guy more attractive than another - I think being interesting and fun often counts for a lot more.
AD1980 Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 Sorry, I didn't mean it in a nasty way. I'm not saying that shorter guys aren't attractive - what I mean is that on an instinctual level women usually find height attractive (without the guy even having to do anything), and as a shorter man you don't have that advantage, so you have to work harder on creating attraction in other ways. I always thought as long as were not talking extreme levels of shortness or tallness face would be the most important thing..You make it seem like height is so sexy to women that an ugly or medicore looking tall guy would get women throwing themslves at him because of his height laone..
Author JellyTot Posted November 17, 2009 Author Posted November 17, 2009 I always thought as long as were not talking extreme levels of shortness or tallness face would be the most important thing..You make it seem like height is so sexy to women that an ugly or medicore looking tall guy would get women throwing themslves at him because of his height laone.. Nooo - if a guy was ugly or otherwise unattractive then height alone would not suffice. I'm just saying that if I find a guy otherwise attractive, him being tall turns up my interest a good few extra few notches, and him being short turns my interest down just a little (so he'd have to work a bit harder to make up ground). This isn't necessarily true for every woman of course.
b52s Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 I think it has to do with intuition. You intuitively know what you want. Your logical brain may be attracted to the great looks/profile, but your intuition has its say and attracts you to what you want, but from a different perspective. It'd be interesting to note what you are intuitively attracted to. No, not true....you can't go on intuition by what she is just seeing in a photograph and profile. Intuition is based more on real life encounters, just a mere profile online. I think women put WAY too much stock on intuition.
cognac Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 This isn't necessarily true for every woman of course. This is what every woman says. "I love tall guys but it's not every woman". I have yet to meet one of these women who are not included . It's a universally attractive trait in the eyes of women and it's shocking how many negative qualities this one trait can offset, you'd think people over 6 ft tall defecate gold or something.
Thornton Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 (edited) This is what every woman says. "I love tall guys but it's not every woman". I have yet to meet one of these women who are not included . It's a universally attractive trait in the eyes of women and it's shocking how many negative qualities this one trait can offset, you'd think people over 6 ft tall defecate gold or something. I could say the same about men who are sexually attracted to women who have decent sized breasts, a slim waist and a nice ass. Such women don't defecate gold either, but men universally find them attractive. If you're a flat-chested female stick-insect, or a roly poly, you have to work a lot harder to make men find you attractive, because they don't go "Phwoarr!" every time you walk down the street. The fact is that both genders are hard-wired to find certain traits attractive, and both males and females who don't have those traits are at a slight disadvantage when it comes to attracting the opposite sex. Hence the advantage of internet dating... you can lay out your personality at the same time as your photos, and an attractive personality can make up for a lot. In real life you don't have this opportunity; your physical characteristics mean a lot more up-front, and they can turn someone off before they even get to know you... someone who might have liked you if they'd gotten to know you a bit better before judging your looks. Edited November 17, 2009 by Thornton
Sam Spade Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 I think women put WAY too much stock on intuition. Duh, silly! This is how they are able to rationalise ANYTHING! "I'm not feeling it" is the new "Based on the information at hand, this is the appropriate course of action" (Conversely, if I'm not "feeling it" no amount of rational discussion will change my mind )
Krytie TV Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 Sorry, I didn't mean it in a nasty way. I'm not saying that shorter guys aren't attractive - what I mean is that on an instinctual level women usually find height attractive (without the guy even having to do anything), and as a shorter man you don't have that advantage, so you have to work harder on creating attraction in other ways. You don't need to be defensive. There are a lot of jaded (short?) men here apparently. I have heard over and over again that there's a security that women feel when they can be "engulfed" by their man in a hug or whatever. Essentially when a man has a good height/mass in relation to the woman it makes them feel emotionally safe. It exists, to be sure, but don't know the extent.
Ms. Joolie Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 No, not true....you can't go on intuition by what she is just seeing in a photograph and profile. Intuition is based more on real life encounters, just a mere profile online. I think women put WAY too much stock on intuition. I disagree. Woman definitely go by intuition when looking at a man's photograph. It's not a logical kind of judging, or even reasonable. It's just an intuition, based on our personal experiences.
Ms. Joolie Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 I have heard over and over again that there's a security that women feel when they can be "engulfed" by their man in a hug or whatever. Essentially when a man has a good height/mass in relation to the woman it makes them feel emotionally safe. It exists, to be sure, but don't know the extent. There is definitely something to be said for the height/mass of a man in relation to a woman. It's not exactly a height thing, it's a presence thing, imo. I don't need that much height in a guy...I'm 5'3. I would want to reach him for that hugging and kissing. So guys over 6' aren't an attraction for me. lol
cognac Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 I could say the same about men who are sexually attracted to women who have decent sized breasts, a slim waist and a nice ass.[/Quote] I really don't see this at all. I could care less about a woman's breasts and especially ass. Such women don't defecate gold either, but men universally find them attractive. If you're a flat-chested female stick-insect, or a roly poly, you have to work a lot harder to make men find you attractive, because they don't go "Phwoarr!" every time you walk down the street. [/Quote] Most of the women who get "Phwoarrs" on the street is mostly because they are just in slutty clothes rather than any physical traits. I swear, I've seen women who were quite overweight and very unattractive physically, turn the heads of certain men (and no, it wasn't "confidence", it was because they were showing a lot of skin). The fact is that both genders are hard-wired to find certain traits attractive, and both males and females who don't have those traits are at a slight disadvantage when it comes to attracting the opposite sex. Hence the advantage of internet dating... you can lay out your personality at the same time as your photos, and an attractive personality can make up for a lot. In real life you don't have this opportunity; your physical characteristics mean a lot more up-front, and they can turn someone off before they even get to know you... someone who might have liked you if they'd gotten to know you a bit better before judging your looks. I really wish male view of big boobs was the same as the female view of tall guys, then you would really know what we're talking about. LOL@ online dating. Maybe for women it's great, because online dating allows all kinds of women to meet and date guys who are far superior to them (due to the amazing surplus of single men in online dating sites). You don't need to be defensive. There are a lot of jaded (short?) men here apparently. I have heard over and over again that there's a security that women feel when they can be "engulfed" by their man in a hug or whatever. Essentially when a man has a good height/mass in relation to the woman it makes them feel emotionally safe. It exists, to be sure, but don't know the extent.[/Quote] It has more to do with brutal dominance all women seek (secretly or openly) than any safety. What they don't realize is a guy who is not 6 feet tall can brutally dominate them just as well.
looking4 green grass Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 I don't have to have a guy who is super tall by any means, but I want to be able to wear heels without being 3 or 4 inches taller. So anything above 5'8" will really work for me since that's about what I am in my heels. As for the OP and not knowing why you are attracted to some men and not to others...I'm right there with you!
AD1980 Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 (edited) Essentially when a man has a good height/mass in relation to the woman it makes them feel emotionally safe. That sounds pretty goofy lol at emotionally safe Men seem to be much easier to please in finding a mate on a physical level.. I just want someody whos ok looking got a good head on her shoulders and is sweet and caring I dont have all these psyho babble talks of "emotional needs" in relation to her size or how it feels when we hug Maybe im insane but thigns like being a decent human being and sweet and caring are on top of the list over what you mentioned.. Edited November 17, 2009 by AD1980
stepka Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 Maybe I'm insane but things like being a decent human being and sweet and caring are on top of the list over what you mentioned.. I'm with ya on that one 1980, and I know you'll find her. Just hang in there and she will come into your life.
AD1980 Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 I'm with ya on that one 1980, and I know you'll find her. Just hang in there and she will come into your life. Thanks i aprreciate it..Like i said its hard because all my friends are married or getitng married plus my shyness/lack of self confidence in my looks
Thornton Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 I think there are an awful lot more attractive women out there than attractive men. I'm straight, but I see pretty girls in the street all the time... I rarely see a really attractive man though. Plus women tend to figure other stuff into attractiveness, like success, money, etc... which makes the pool of suitable men even smaller... ime men don't tend to have so many strict criteria for a mate as women do. I think it's also true that the more attractive/successful/rich you are, the harder it is to find a suitable mate, because most people don't want to "marry down"... they're looking for someone on the same level as themselves, which becomes harder to find the more attractive/successful/rich you are. In a nutshell: if you're at the bottom of the ladder then there are an awful lot more people above you to whom you could "marry up" than there are if you're closer to the top of the ladder.
AD1980 Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 I think there are an awful lot more attractive women out there than attractive men. I'm straight, but I see pretty girls in the street all the time... I rarely see a really attractive man though. Plus women tend to figure other stuff into attractiveness, like success, money, etc... which makes the pool of suitable men even smaller... ime men don't tend to have so many strict criteria for a mate as women do. Maye women just have a much smaller view of whats attractive then men do.. To me the majority of people you seee on a every day basis are average..Maybe some a little above or below..
Boundary Problem Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 Maye women just have a much smaller view of whats attractive then men do.. Totally true. I'm so picky it is ridiculous. All I know is they have to have dark hair. (or salt and pepper hair). Everything else is based on ephemeral attraction issues, which frankly I don't clearly understand about myself.
Thornton Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 I think people tend to compare using themselves as standard. ... I suppose if you're pretty ugly then almost everyone you see will look hot to you, whereas if you're pretty hot then almost everyone you see will look ugly to you, and if you're average then the majority of people will look ok.
sumdude Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 I think people tend to compare using themselves as standard. ... I suppose if you're pretty ugly then almost everyone you see will look hot to you, whereas if you're pretty hot then almost everyone you see will look ugly to you, and if you're average then the majority of people will look ok. Of course that would all be based on self perception and self esteem. There are plenty of people who think they're all that and then some but really aren't. Then there are those who have no idea how attractive they really are. Given a choice I'd much prefer to hang out with the latter provided they're not totally down on themselves. Haughtiness is a turn off.
AD1980 Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 Totally true. I'm so picky it is ridiculous. All I know is they have to have dark hair. (or salt and pepper hair). Everything else is based on ephemeral attraction issues, which frankly I don't clearly understand about myself. It seems to be that way,women have a very narrow standard of attratctivness and need specific things on a man it seems or its a no go Men for the most part if the girls somewhat attratcive or cute in their eyes even though they have prefrences will be flexible if shes not 100% their type so to speak allot of women dont seem to have that ability.. Women in social circles seem to all want the same guy
Thornton Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 Haven't you ever known an average guy who hits on hot chicks because he really thinks he has a chance? Or a handsome guy / pretty girl who dates a particularly unattractive partner because they have no expectation of anything better? What I mean is, most people agree on who is extremely hot and who is not... but when it comes to what someone would consider acceptable looking, it often has some relation to how they perceive themselves.
AD1980 Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 I think people tend to compare using themselves as standard. ... I suppose if you're pretty ugly then almost everyone you see will look hot to you, whereas if you're pretty hot then almost everyone you see will look ugly to you, and if you're average then the majority of people will look ok. I dont agree with that i know ugly people who are picky and attractive people who arent as much
Thornton Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 The ugly people who are picky are probably a bit self-delusional, and the same for the attractive people who aren't so picky.
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