Aulie Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 Hello everyone, I was dumped by my boyfriend of one year 4 weeks ago and even though I know he was wrong for me, I'm still pretty hung up on him. Last weekend I went out with my room mate and he tried to kiss me, but I turned my head and told him I needed him as my friend. I'd never really considered him as anything else but a friend until then, but now I just want to kiss him. I've only known him since the beginning of September, but he's been so supportive and taken care of me since my break up. We have a really good time together and get along really well, but there's a lot of things about him that bother me such as his cleaning habits and things like peeing on the toilet seat, plus he was always ogling at other girls in front of me (although he's pretty much stopped that since my break up). He's also very sexual. He's into porn and talking dirty with people online, and it kind of freaks me out, but he says he just needs to have a little fun since he's not had sex in a while (maybe this is just a guy thing?). My other room mate says he's wonderful with his girlfriends and spoils them. I know he cheated on his long distance girlfriend a few times. He says it was because she was mean to him and that he never cheated on his other girlfriends. I basically had to coach him through breaking up with her because we both knew he was delaying the inevitable and wasn't being fair to her. He's also super emotional and I don't know what to make of it, since my ex was really cold and not in touch with his emotions at all. Despite my reservations about him, the major issue I have with us dating is that he's become a good friend and we live together. If things don't work out I don't want to make my living situation miserable or lose a friend that I've come to depend on. Also, I'm still not completely over my ex. I don't know what to do. I know I should give it time, but we've become really touchy feely, and I can't get the idea of kissing him out of my head. Can anyone offer advice on what I should do?
Author Aulie Posted November 15, 2009 Author Posted November 15, 2009 I should probably be more specific with what I want to know... do you guys think it would be a bad idea to pursue something with my room mate or should I give it a shot even if it could all go wrong?
New Again Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 Don't **** where you eat. Move out if you want to pursue a relationship with him.
Lucky_One Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 I would have to caution you against this. One, you are still rebounding. Two, he sounds like he is trying to get into your pants. Three, he is already a confirmed cheater. Four, he talks dirty with random girls online bc "he has not had sex in a while", which is just skanky. Five, you live with him, and it sounds like the two roomies are friends, and your sex life will be a topic of conversation with the two of them.
Author Aulie Posted November 15, 2009 Author Posted November 15, 2009 Don't **** where you eat. Yeah, this is generally the outlook I have on these kinds of things. Guess I'm just still on the rebound and finding it a lot harder to resist the urge for easy affection. I would have to caution you against this. One, you are still rebounding. Two, he sounds like he is trying to get into your pants. Three, he is already a confirmed cheater. Four, he talks dirty with random girls online bc "he has not had sex in a while", which is just skanky. Five, you live with him, and it sounds like the two roomies are friends, and your sex life will be a topic of conversation with the two of them. To be honest, I'd actually prefer if he was just trying to get into my pants because that way I wouldn't have to worry about him getting attached, but I think he may be interested in more than that which is why I'm worried. I don't want to be tied down by default just because I live with the person I'm dating. Thanks for the advice though guys. It's going to be a real test of strength to not rebound. Feeling really lonely at the moment, but I know this situation will only end in disaster if we become anything more than strictly friends.
Pizzaman81 Posted November 16, 2009 Posted November 16, 2009 Don't **** where you eat. Move out if you want to pursue a relationship with him. I agree with this comment and I put my stamp of approval on it if I had a stamp. One of my ex was my college roommate! It was my fault, we got it going, was together for 3 years. But trust me... you will have no space if you live under the same roof. And 3 years will feel like forever when you are living with the person. It was the most horrible experience I have ever felt. Move out now if you want to pursue. -Pizzaman
BobSacamento Posted November 16, 2009 Posted November 16, 2009 Just Do It. You can always find another place to live.
boogieboy Posted November 16, 2009 Posted November 16, 2009 If you only want him as a booty call, tell him that so that none of you get attached.
Lucky_One Posted November 16, 2009 Posted November 16, 2009 I bet you a six pack of beer (import of choice) that if you end up sleeping with him, he ends up taking advantage of your cleaning abilities and your fondness for him, and that you end up taking up most of the shares of household chores, say by....December 31st?
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