Ultiman Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 I think I can see it... The anxiety has 95% dissapeared, going out with friends is really helping me cope, the crying has just about stopped, I am beginning to really accept and like my new single status. The only thing that bother me is how i still hope for her to come back and still wonder alot as to what she is doing and who she is spending time with... But I know that will be gone soon. When my friends told me it can take months even years to move on from a serious relationship I was so scared that i was going to be stuck depressed and down for months, But it is not turning out that way. Ive completely changed my life, Ive stopped doing drugs, Ive cleaned out my room, car and overall living space, Ive started exercising like crazy, Ive started waking up everyday early to get whatever I can done, I look forward to working, Ive made new friends and reacquainted myself with many old ones. I was able to channel my depression, sadness and anger towards self improvement. I actually never knew how good and successful i could be if i just set my mind to it. And all it took was her dumping me to start set the stage for change So Ironically enough, even though i miss her and want her back, I am writing this to thank you; Thank you k for dumping me, Thank you K for leaving me when I needed you most because it made me realize the most important thing in life, You dont need anybody to make you who you are
9Lives Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 thank you so much for the positive light at the end of the tunnel. I am jealous of you. I am waiting for the day to come and I think I am getting close. I am ready to close that chapter and start the new one
rickigal Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 That's great news! Have you gone to any meetings?
Ms. Joolie Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 Excellent, Ultiman! Congratulations! You sound fantastic.... you sound strong, you know? Keep going! This is just the beginning of your new, great life! Thank you for this post. It really is encouraging.
Author Ultiman Posted November 15, 2009 Author Posted November 15, 2009 That's great news! Have you gone to any meetings? Yes two NA meetings planning on going to another one tuesday. I have found Gives you hell by the all american rejects to be the best song thus far for helping me cope im listening to it now and im just in an overall positive mood ;)
mickleb Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 I'm very impressed by how you are taking control of your life, Ultiman. You're doing so many good things. Well done! I don't like to p*ss on people's fires BUT I just want to say: don't expect everything to be like this from here on out. I think you probably have got past the panic stage and your efforts are reaping great rewards but there will be days and moments, reminders and memories that will take you back. (I mean - I hope you never get any of these but it is pretty likely you will.) Sometimes, when we've just emerged from a complete nightmare, it can be exhilarating to learn we have survived. It can then feel hard when something jumps up and bites us on the ass again. Please carry on with all these wonderful things. They are your safety net - you have built your own survival kit. But, on the rainy days, remember you have these tools to help you through. I hope your sailing continues to be smooth, from this point on but we're here if the sea gets choppy. Take care. x
Author Ultiman Posted November 15, 2009 Author Posted November 15, 2009 I'm very impressed by how you are taking control of your life, Ultiman. You're doing so many good things. Well done! I don't like to p*ss on people's fires BUT I just want to say: don't expect everything to be like this from here on out. I think you probably have got past the panic stage and your efforts are reaping great rewards but there will be days and moments, reminders and memories that will take you back. (I mean - I hope you never get any of these but it is pretty likely you will.) Sometimes, when we've just emerged from a complete nightmare, it can be exhilarating to learn we have survived. It can then feel hard when something jumps up and bites us on the ass again. Please carry on with all these wonderful things. They are your safety net - you have built your own survival kit. But, on the rainy days, remember you have these tools to help you through. I hope your sailing continues to be smooth, from this point on but we're here if the sea gets choppy. Take care. x Thanks man. I understand this rollercoaster, the other day i was feeling good, not as good as today, but good and i thought the worst was behind me but I got beat down the next three days, crying anxiety etc. I know i will be down again but I also know that everytime will be less and less and the highs will be better and better. All the advice Ive recieved from here has worked tremendously ESPECIALLY no contact.
Ms. Joolie Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 ...but I also know that everytime will be less and less and the highs will be better and better. Exactly. And as mickleb said, you have the tools now, too. You know what it takes to get out of those rough spots. I've noticed with myself that when I have setbacks, when I start becoming emotional over the thought of the failed relationship, I snap out of it easier. I recognize when that happens that I am letting myself go, letting myself dwell on the pain. I fight that. I don't hold on. I have my tools, I keep my focus. And I just get stronger and stronger. Definitely, the rough spots matter less and less and the highs do get better.
Author Ultiman Posted November 15, 2009 Author Posted November 15, 2009 ughh im missing her alot now..... Im not really sad or depressed just missing her companionship and talking with her. I want to speak with her so bad but i cant
mickleb Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 Ok, friend. This is what I'm talking about. I've been there with the 'I'M HEALED!!!!' breakthroughs, especially in the earlier days, as it happens. In fact, they've come around so often, I tend to ignore them now and just think 'I've had a good day today. I'm glad.' What is really important to remember is that you are HAVING those moments, hours, days. And you will continue to have them. They will become the norm and the missing will become the rarity. I'm off to bed now but talk to people here, or friends or a helpline, if you want. Or write her a letter you won't send. All that stuff. Then write a list of all of the amazing things you KNOW are true about you and tell yourself you will always have those things. She, as amazing as she may have been, can never touch those things; that part of you. Then dwell on how good those things are, how warm they make you feel. Even if the warmth just feels like that of a little candle, at first, put your hands around it and get every ounce of energy you can from it. Be careful with that flame and feed it until it grows into a wonderful, blazing fire. Be comforted by it, instead. Be-jeezus, I've gone all new-age on you but you get my point. (It's the fatigue!) Take lots of good care of yourself. I'll keep an eye out for how you're doing. x
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