CaliGuy Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 Okay, I'm sorry. But you sounded just like my grandmother for a sec there, Cali. I'm just...experienced. I've been in these situations and none of them ended well. I do get what you're saying; and I do agree that having sex with someone you find totally unattractive and unappealing is pointless and senseless -- and soul-sucking, too. And I'm glad that I didn't give up my virginity in an FwB. And one-night-stands were never my thing, either. (Do they still call it that?) Naw, one night stand is a "hit it and quit it" kind of thing. FWB is more or less "I like you but not enough to want a relationship. Just enough to get my physical needs met at your expense." Someone usually gets hurt in these sitations because eventually one ends up having greater feelings than the other. <sigh> I don't know. Maybe I have a broader definition of that thing you're calling "love". Maybe mine is "weird" or distorted. It never left me feeling "empty", though. So...I really don't know. You might be one of the rare cases where you can arrange something like a FWB and not feel bad about it.
Ronni_W Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 You might be one of the rare cases where you can arrange something like a FWB and not feel bad about it. Okay. Well, then. Noble, just make sure you guys are on the exact same page...every single day! And I'm not even talking about sex...emotionally, make sure that she is not getting ahead of you, so to speak. Now, if you are getting some hea...oh, best to nevermind! Cali. I guess you're right. My experiences were 25 to 30 years ago. And not that I had oodles and oodles of them. A very select few, in reality. But you reminded me of one conversation with one of the FwBs (though we didn't call it that at the time), and I guess you're right. I still can't believe that it is a rarity, though. I mean...I do believe YOU, but I don't believe...I never would have thunk that I was/am a "rare case" when it comes to this. To me, it's more, "How the heck can people NOT be able to separate sex from love?" Isn't that a life skill??? Anyway, Cali. I'm sorry yours didn't end as well us mine. And I much appreciate your thoughts. Thanks.
clv0116 Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 That isn't a thing dude.. She isn't even really legal.. 18.. you do know that she is a teenager ?.... last year she was 17.. Legal ... where? Also, I was 17 a few years ago, ya know?
Art_Critic Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 Legal ... where? Also, I was 17 a few years ago, ya know? I didn't mean legal to be able to take a dick.. I meant legal in the legal sense.. you know.. she can't drink..sign a legal document kinda legal.. She is a TEENAGER and he is a full blown adult.. I don't have a problem with age differences providing one of the people isn't a young adult, child or teenager. and you were 17 a few years ago.. she was 17 a few months ago ..
Author nobleguy Posted November 19, 2009 Author Posted November 19, 2009 I didn't mean legal to be able to take a dick.. I meant legal in the legal sense.. you know.. she can't drink..sign a legal document kinda legal.. She is a TEENAGER and he is a full blown adult.. I don't have a problem with age differences providing one of the people isn't a young adult, child or teenager. and you were 17 a few years ago.. she was 17 a few months ago .. We're in the UK. She can vote, drink, smoke and drive, get married, divorced, have a mortgage and a credit card. There is nothing I can do that she can't legally. She's an adult. A young one but...
Art_Critic Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 We're in the UK. She can vote, drink, smoke and drive, get married, divorced, have a mortgage and a credit card. There is nothing I can do that she can't legally. She's an adult. A young one but... Dude.. While the age of consent in the UK is 16.. yeah she is legal by that definition so you can put your dick in her and not worry about going to jail but she is still a teenager and in my mind that isn't the kind of thing an aging adult does if he is thinking straight.. Sounds to me that you are not thinking straight... Just the fact that you even have to consider if she is too young is a huge red flag.. IMO At what age would be to young for you ? and why ?
Ody Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 Most of the points against hooking up with this woman revolve around avoiding hurting someone. While an admirable goal, avoiding hurt isn't always the best criteria for decision making. No decision is perfect, and in this case the good may outweigh the bad. Noble you're going to have to make that decision, keeping in mind both that you might hurt this girl (or not, or she might hurt you) but that it might also be a pretty wonderful thing, physically or otherwise. Anyone here who is trying to make blanket statements about how you should act here is overreaching. You haven't mentioned anything that indicates this woman has huge baggage or something, and you seem pretty classy, so I happen to think it could be good for you both. I won't pretend that I can't be wrong though. None of us know the details anyway. I had the same initial reaction regarding that "adult" post BTW - "can't they drink at 18 in the UK". It's actually important, at least you guys don't have to curtail socializing just because she can't get in the club. You're right, she is an adult.
Author nobleguy Posted November 19, 2009 Author Posted November 19, 2009 You haven't mentioned anything that indicates this woman has huge baggage or something,... She seems pretty level headed given her age. No obvious baggage that I can see. ...and you seem pretty classy... Aw. Thank you I am quite a caring person so would be careful of her feelings. I've got no evidence to back this up, but I think she would be careful of mine as well. She's just, well...nice. A sunny personality. You're right, she is an adult. You do all realise that nothing will ever come of this don't you? So it's probably all hypothetical anyway...
Ody Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 You do all realise that nothing will ever come of this don't you? So it's probably all hypothetical anyway... Hehe well it certainly won't while you're on some message board debating it instead of making a confident move on her!
Author nobleguy Posted November 19, 2009 Author Posted November 19, 2009 Hehe well it certainly won't while you're on some message board debating it instead of making a confident move on her! Hee hee! I'm trying to get a mate or two out tonight. Thursday night is student (her) night .
clv0116 Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 I didn't mean legal to be able to take a dick.. I meant legal in the legal sense.. you know.. she can't drink..sign a legal document kinda legal. So if she can do those things it's OK?
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