They are SO overprotected. I'm 20, and they give me trouble about going to hang out!

[jaclynxox89]

Ok so for the first time I am getting really close with this guy.. my coworker, actually. We are kinda bf & gf, just not confirmed yet, i guess.

I went on a date with him once, with no problem.

because my mom just thought we were just friends to go out and hang out.

A couple months ago, when my mom found out I was gonna go out with him again that night, she said its not gonna happen.

I am 20 years old. I have a car. 100% Mine. She contributes to NOTHING.

She hid my car keys that night, and we have been fighting, until I just gave up. I couldn't go out with him...

 

Last week, I was stupid enough to tell her I was gonna be busy on my day off because I was gonna go and hang out with him, so on my last day of work before my day off, i pick him up for work. as he got in the car, he said there was a paper on his door that said his name on it.

So i parked and was like, wtf?? it was my mom who wrote a note to him: Dont try to go out with Jaclyn tomorrow. Stay away.

 

I cant believe she tried chasing him away!!!

ok so we didnt go out last week either because of that. he said just go out one day and DONT tell her. so whatever.

 

The thing is, my mom isn't racist. But this guy is half mexican, and im american. But she just believes in staying in her race as it comes to dating. She has her reasons, I have mine. I am an adult and I believe I should make up my own decisions, good or bad. I told her this, that she can give me all the advice she wants, but the decision is MINE.

I dont want her to eventually chase him away... he is really sweet. Weve gotten to know each other really well over the past 2 years...

 

So how can I get her to just leave me alone?!

....Or, will she ever?

I think she just thinks of me as like, I'm still 15 or something..

i dont know, but I've always been really responsible so there is no reason for this behavior of hers.

[Boundary Problem]

when you pay your own rent you get to make your own dating decisions, and live with the consequences.

[ADF]

Making someone's race a criteria for whether or not you can date them is racist. I suggest you start looking for another place to live.

[TwinkletOes26]

You need to maybe sit down and have a conversation with your mother abou why she doesnt like him? Maybe its something other than race. Have her sit down and meet him and if she still doesnt like him well not much you can do other than keep two sets of keys.

 

You say the car is yous 100% well then she cant tell you where to go in YOUR car. Another solution is if you are in college try to live on campus she cant tell you what to do if you arent living with her .

[stillafool]

You need to find a roommate and move out immediately. You will never be able to lead your own life as long as you still live at home. Your mom is racist. Geesh, I'm hate to see what she'd do if you tried to date a black guy.

[Lucky_One]

The problem is HE'S MARRIED.

 

Your mom doesn't want you to have an affair with an alien who is possibly only married to a US citizen in order to gain his green card.

 

Don't be silly. Honestly. If you are going to post for advice, tell the whole story. The guy is MARRIED. You work with him and his wife, and he ignores you if his wife is around. You aren't "officially" OR "unofficially" his gf and he your bf - he is someone's husband, and you are an other woman.

 

If I had a daughter, and if she lived with me, and if I thought that she was being naive enough to get into an affair situation like you are in, then I, too, would leave a note on the guy's car. And personally, would call the guy's boss. And the guy's wife.

 

Darned if I would sit by and watch my D do something supremely stupid without interfering ESPECIALLY living under MY room.

[2sure]

Oh yeah absolutely. If you were my daughter, this guy would have trouble renewing his green card. And if he didnt have one, it would become a real big problem, For him.

 

Not because of his race or the status of his citizenship...but because he was married and trying to hang out with MY daughter, who lived with me. To be honest, even if she didnt live with me, he'd still have a great big issue : ME. And I'm not much for writing notes.

[GorillaTheater]

So, you attribute your mom's attitude to "racism" rather than admit that it might be due to the fact that he's married. And by leaving out that particular piece of information on this thread, you were content to let others assume the worst about your mother. That's great. You think she's overprotective? You haven't seen anything. Thank your lucky stars that I'm not your dad.

 

On one point I agree with the first round of posters: move the hell out, pronto. For everybodys' benefit.

[Boundary Problem]

He's married!!!????

 

 

 

If you were my daughter I wouldn't be leaving notes. I would get you boxes and leave your stuff in the driveway.

[TwinkletOes26]

WAIT what did i miss...hes married? Girly i doubt your mamas issue is that hes another race its more than likely bc hes got a wife already. Affairs can end up well in death. YOur mama prolly doesnt want that drama at her house and is trying to protect you from that kind of foolishness you just dont need.

[Pizzaman81]

The problem my friend.. IS YOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUU.

 

You think you live in the United States of whatEVA?!?! Your mother is right, she needs to control you, you are unreliable to say the least.

[missdependant]

Like you said, you're 20 years old.

 

Find your own place to live and pay a mortgage or rent.

 

...Then you might be able to *GASP* live your own life and make your own choices. And date married men.