truelover Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 Hi all, I would really like to canvas some advice on this one please. Ok, my ex completely ignores me. I am in a different country now to her. I left her country in July 08, though we didn't split until Nov 08. I went through the whole thing of love letters, flowers, emails and voicemails. In April 09 she started contacting me via IM very regularly, but refused to talk about us in any of the communication, and would not talk on the phone. I couldn't handle it and asked her to stop (mid May 09). Her passing comment to this was 'I would not like what she has become' and when I got really upset about this and asked what that meant, from that point on she does not reply to txts, calls and then when I travelled to the other side of the world to see her (July 09) to try to make up, unannounced, she would not see me, even her friends could not get her to see me. She had a BF, and has since broken up with him. Now, in the past 2 months she has suddenly started going on a web profile of hers, (we are still linked as friends on there), she added a main picture on her profile of her legs which she knows I like and according to the site statistics she is viewing my web profile. I emailed her, how are you going etc, I would like to hear from you, but no reply. So I changed my profile to an active ad, put in text of looking for a woman etc and my ex increased her log ins and viewing my profile to 4 times a week!! She still will not answer a email I have sent her when she started that recent activity, or even one of those gimmick messages thats off those get your ex back sites which is supposed to make them call you out of curiosity and self interest (4 days ago). I got so annoyed at no reply from her, I wiped the profile of mine accept for minimal information and even changed the country to some place obscure, and then she views my profile twice in 1 day! What do I do? I don't understand why the recent activity if yet she ignores me. Yes I know the whole move on plenty of other fish etc, please ok I know that standard line, but I am really hung up on the gal. I only want advice on what I can do to try to get her talking and why is she ignoring me yet clearly VERY interested?
Author truelover Posted November 16, 2009 Author Posted November 16, 2009 (edited) wholly crap, first it was once in 10 days I changed my profile and it increased to 4 times a week I got pissed off at her not replying to my emails so I wiped the profile so just the basics remain, changed the country also to ecuador! So Saturday she logged in twice in one day, and she has just now logged in twice in the past 4 HOURS. each and every time viewing my profile Edited November 16, 2009 by truelover
PandaStillLovesBunny Posted November 16, 2009 Posted November 16, 2009 Stop sending her messages, stop looking at her profile -- she may be itnerested, but she has no intention of ever answering you. If she was interested, but just waiting for you to make a move, then she would have answered you -- she hasn't, so there really isn't anything more that you can do on your end but to wait until she grows some balls (figuratively speaking, of course) and actually decides to interact with you. My ex is doing the same thing to me -- she actually de-friended me on Facebook, but I can still see her checking me out everywhere else. Why they do it is a complete mystery.
Author truelover Posted November 17, 2009 Author Posted November 17, 2009 Interesting, how long has your ex being doing that for? Do you feel that there might be some reason for her not contacting you despite the interest, perhaps guilt or feeling ashamed on her part?? (and hence can't handle facing you)
Narf Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 Think your reading way way to much into it... She is prob bored/curious but that doesnt mean she is interested in starting anything with you... Im a little miffed as to why you would want anything to do with her... You flew 1/2 way around the country and she wouldnt see you... She ignores you... Surely that does not make you feel good about yourself... Also the obessing over the profile looking :/ Please try focus on something else... If you put the effort into something else you would get rewards! and slow get happier... Your flogging a dead horse... nothing you can do till she gets in contract with you and right now she isnt
Author truelover Posted November 18, 2009 Author Posted November 18, 2009 I was on the road to recovery as it were and had accepted moving on etc. Then the sudden activity as I described. I would call 'curiosity' checking up every now and again, twice a month at best thereabouts if I were to quantify it. To go to the extent she is doing it is going well past the mark, you cannot argue that. And what about the picture she puts up, knowing it would directly appeal to me? Yes I agree logic dictates leaving it alone, I've done all these things to try etc, but you well know when the heart is involved logic takes a back seat! Maybe I am obsessing over the profile looking. Having put alot of thought into this, I can only come up with the answer that with this amount of viewing she is rethinking things over, and all I can do is see if she contacts me, but at the same time not live my life waiting as it were.
McGrupp Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 i mean i dont know if she is "rethinking" anything. all these sights are very voyeuristic and recall checking out this one girl i had hooked up with all the time out. 3 years after we had hooked up AND i had a gf. just boredom + ease of use = your thinking about it too much. move on.org
Author truelover Posted November 18, 2009 Author Posted November 18, 2009 ok, I'm bored, I would have said I am going f'n insane!! ;-) She's bored, has nothing better to do having just moved OUT of her parents place having not seen them in 13yrs (part of the reason for the break up was that she was going to be with them) and decides to put a picture up that appeals to the ex(me) and then proceeds to view my profile incessently, while I sit there and look at the viewing stats of my profile and see the count against her name increase like it was a stopwatch. Sorry for venting, hope you understand I am finding this whole thing very fustrating
McGrupp Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 i feel ya man. if u really want to get at her, get rid of the account. you save yourself this misery and she is like whoah! u think she doesnt know you see how many times she goes on?
Author truelover Posted November 18, 2009 Author Posted November 18, 2009 she possibley does know and then again might not, she was never that good with computers/websites. Yes I too have thought about deleting the profile, just its my link to other friends unfortunately. She already would have gone thru the woah stage. When she first restarted going on the site, I made my profile active and added text as if looking for another woman, her views increased, then when she didn't reply to me I got pissed off and wiped the profile leaving only minimal information about me like a placeholder and changed the country to Equador, thats when her views went thru the roof.
Recommended Posts