Notsogood Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 Its been nearly 6 months since the break up now (5.5 yr relationship) and i'm slipping even deeper into depression. I've been NC for the last 3 months. When will this pain go away? Will it ever go away? I've tried to keep myself myself over the last few months. Time has passed by quickly but I don't feel any better. I feel so empty and I just don't want to live through this pain anymore. I can't sleep and I don't want to wake up when I do. I really don't know what to do and how to deal with this. I've been going to the gym fanatically over the last few months and I'm in the best shape I've ever been in my life but all I feel inside is emptiness. My life is spiraling out of control. Is there a light at the end of the tunnel?
nobleguy Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 Can I ask if you are taking any medications? About a month ago I just felt like I was going completely loopy and was making absolutely no progress whatsoever. If anything, like you, I was gettnig worse. I was driving home from work and due to pick the kids up, but for some reason I stopped in a lay-by and just cried in the car. For about 3 hours (with the ex phoning me frantically, phoning the hospitals and police) ... Eventually I made my way to the local supermarket, went in, forgot what I wanted, left empty handed and got back to the car to find I'd left the keys in the ignition. And the car was still running... It got to the point where I just couldn't live like that any more (no sleep, so tired, so numb, so empty - that's not life, it's existence for the sake of it) or I had to ask for help. I've been feeling a lot better since I took that step.
Author Notsogood Posted November 15, 2009 Author Posted November 15, 2009 I'm not currently taking any medication, and have reservations about taking them. I'm already numb inside, I'm not sure if medication can help. Can I ask how your medication helped you? I have been thinking about getting some sleeping pills just to help me sleep. You are right though, I really feel like i'm living an existence for the sake of it. I can't find any reason to keep going. Wish I could just disappear.
Limbo21 Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 I'm on meds as sleeping pills cos I was feeling suicidal. I have to say they seem to be working. Don't get me wrong I'm still as low as my grandma's tits but I'm not gonna to kill myself now. The sleeping tablets are a concern though as I now can't sleep witout them. I think I'm becoming dependent on them but it's sure as hell better than being dependent on my ex forget the stigma. Get to the docs, 6 mnths of feeling low is enough for anyman
GrayClouds Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 I'm not currently taking any medication, and have reservations about taking them. I'm already numb inside, I'm not sure if medication can help. Can I ask how your medication helped you? I have been thinking about getting some sleeping pills just to help me sleep. You are right though, I really feel like i'm living an existence for the sake of it. I can't find any reason to keep going. Wish I could just disappear. Seriously think about getting on some anti-depressants and finding professional to talk to. When your in the state your in your body is working against you. Chemically your brain is not produce enough of the right stuff. The meds will help your brain to produce what you need so you can start see things more clearly and lift that numb feeling. Most of the time you will only be on them for a short period of time. The anti-d will help you get to the point were you can start doing the other things to take care of yourself: exercise, wanting to ge with friends, start enjoying things like you use to.
stillafool Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 Its been nearly 6 months since the break up now (5.5 yr relationship) and i'm slipping even deeper into depression. I've been NC for the last 3 months. When will this pain go away? Will it ever go away? I've tried to keep myself myself over the last few months. Time has passed by quickly but I don't feel any better. I feel so empty and I just don't want to live through this pain anymore. I can't sleep and I don't want to wake up when I do. I really don't know what to do and how to deal with this. I've been going to the gym fanatically over the last few months and I'm in the best shape I've ever been in my life but all I feel inside is emptiness. My life is spiraling out of control. Is there a light at the end of the tunnel? I know it's hard but it will get better. Believe it or not every day you are moving closer to your healing. I think if you are starting to feel desperate you need to find a therapist ASAP. They will help you. Don't suffer any longer sweetie, get some help.
nobleguy Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 Yes, all good advice above. I tried to get through it using will power but I really got to the stage you are at and felt it was time for me to end it all. The first time I thought about my children as a reason not to do it and it made no difference, I knew it was time to do something. I only managed 3 months or so without help, so God knows how you've got through twice that. I've found they have raised my mood just a little, and as mentioned above, they have enabled me to focus on things other than the one thing we mustn't think about (and we really mustn't...). I'm not cured by any means. I still feel down at times (today is the worst day for a while - drinking last night ) but those days are slightly less frequent and not quite so deep when they arrive. I've not tried sleeping pills as the doctor mentioned waking up early and not being able to get back to sleep is a sure-fire sign of depression. Sleeping pills should really only be used for a number of days as the body quickly reduces the effectiveness of them if taken too regularly.
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