clingymon Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 hi all... me and my girl were co-workers and we hooked up while she was going thru a divorce from her 2nd husband who she has 2 young sons with...she told me her and her ex hardly ever saw each other due 2 working seperate shifts so 1 or the other could watch the kids...she says she was never truly in love with him but she settled cause she was ready 2 have kids and he treated her the way she wanted 2 b treated....when her and i met there was an instant attraction and we started hanging out during her divorce in which her and ex hubby still living 2gether...i know wrong move right!!! but i just couldnt control myself...anyways she would talk 2 him on the phone and lie about where she was... when in truth she was with me...2 make a long story shorter...she got divorced and her and i ended up in a serious relationship...everything was awesome for the 1st few yrs...but i have had some trust issues with her due 2 her lying 2 he ex in my presence and how easy it was for her 2 do it...she is definately not the cheating type but i could never seem 2 get over my lack of trust 4 her...about yr. and a half ago we went 2 seperate work locations and things have seemed 2 go downhill since...shes met new friends...a few guys that she even txts back n forth with and talks 2 on the phone...which amplifies my insecurities....she says they r just friends and i have nothing 2 worry about and i have met a few of them and they r nothing 2 worry about except 1 in particular she tends 2 flirt with...i have not met him and she seems 2 not bring him up like she talks about the other ones...she has more and more strains on her time due 2 the kids having more activities and has less time 4 me...she has gained weight over our 4 yrs 2gether and hates the way she looks and feels...which makes her want 2 be less intimate w me...when i try 2 kiss her she would always give me a peck and thats about all...i have been fighting for her attn more and more and gettin less and less it seems...she has been feeling really guilty 2 her kids for a while now for going thru the divorce and thinks she has ruined their lives...anyway we got in a little argument over her txting with this mysterious guy from work and she told me she didnt want 2 be in a relationship w any1 else...i was it 4 her...if we didnt work out she was done...she decided she wanted 2 take some time off from us and she was extremely emotional and kept tellin me she loves me profusly... but she needs time 2 sort out her feelings of guilt and 2 work on her weight issues...the kicker is she decided she wants no contact during this break and she thinks she needs like 6 months off....she swears she loves me very much but thinks nc will be easier for her...it has been like 8 days and we txtd like 1 time in which she said she was really confused and needed space and didnt want 2 hurt me and said she really loves and misses me and that it is extremely hard 4 her do do this....from a womans perspective...do u think she is interested in some1 else...ie guy from work...or does she truly need time 2 work on her issues and guilt she has towards her kids and ex...have my trust issues caused her 2 re-evaluate if she want 2 be with me anymore??? or does it sound like infidelity...i am confused and not sure i should hang around waiting on her 2 decide if she wants 2 continue on with me or not...we tried the break thing before and after a week she couldnt handle it anymore and we went back 2 the same old same old...i have been nothing but accomodating 2 her life and have done everything in my power 2 make her happy and loved and constantly went out of my way 2 spend time with her and be with her and the kids... should i just move on or should i wait 2 see what the verdict is w her??? this is killing me...i love her with all my heart and almost 5 yrs together is hard 2 let go of...i would love some outside perspective
Space Ritual Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 Hate to tell you, but the NC was because she does not want to be with you. More likely than not she is in a relationship with the guy she was texting and the probably have been in a relationship for some time before the two of you broke up, The thing was though that you are the last to know. Id just move on. remember you thinking about how she would lie to her hubby when she was with you? Do yo think she'd ever stop lying when she tells you she loves you but wants NC? she wants to pursue her new relationship unfettered, and wants you to move on. Don't contact her again. You have no kids with her, so be happy you don't have any legal ties to her. Move on, its over
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